soccer Page 304 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Today In The Premiership...
• Manchester United 3-1 Manchester City. Cross-town rivalries are fun, but... well, you'd prefer they were a little more competitive. Manchester City hasn't won at Old Trafford in 32 years, and goals from Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, and Louis Saha kept them from doing it today. City actually ...
Insert "They Couldn't Use Their Hands" Joke Here
Goddammit, why can't American athletes be as interesting and publicly debaucherous as British athletes? We mean, seriously....
Yeah, Take That, You Monstrous Goal Receptacle
We've been remiss in not mentioning the rather astounding celebration from UC Santa Barbara fans after their team upset UCLA to win its first-ever soccer national championship last weekend. In a rarity for American soccer fans, they went kind of nuts, swiping a goal post and throwing it into the oce...
Further Heavy Reading In The Land Of The Footie
It's a trend we like and would tend to encourage; passive-aggressive insults by European soccer fans. Bradford City, a League One soccer club, recently published a book about rival club Leeds United, entitled Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About The Not So Massive Club That Was Super L666ds, w...
So This Is What They Mean By A Friendly
We're no experts — perhaps Mr. Hirshey can help us out here — but we do know that this is just all kinds of wrong....
Hirshey: Sentencing The Children To A Lifetime Of Pain
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
Today In The Premiership...
• Wigan 0-4 Liverpool. In Liverpool's game against Wigan Athletic today, Craig Bellamy struck twice. Oddly enough, he was accused of doing that very same thing during the week. Bellamy was charged with assaulting two women in a Cardiff nightclub, and was cleared of the charges earlier in the week...
We Hope They Turn Out Overweight And Lethargic
To celebrate his new big-ass contract for the Dodgers — and the inevitable shredding of some sort of tender tendon that will result — Nomar Garciaparra has found a fertile place in Mia Hamm that his seed might find purchase....
You Can't Use Your Hands OR Your Eyes
In the grand tradition of Beep Baseball, With Leather brings us the blind soccer World Cup, which we are immediately dispatching David Hirshey to cover....
Hirshey: Hey, Have Somebody Taste That Wine
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
Today In The Premiership...
• Charlton 1-1 Everton. Look at that, Charlton didn't get their ass beat... much credit goes to new head coach Les Reed. In fact, Everton was fortunate to even get a tie with them, getting a lucky bounce off a defender's leg for their goal. Unfortunately, the one point they earned from this draw s...
Hey, Nice Brain Tumor, Idiot
As the Mighty MJD mentioned on Saturday, the pro-Ohio State group The Dead Schembechlers have disbanded due to the death of the actual Bo Schembechler. But we here in the U.S. do not have a monopoly on class. Over in England, Newcastle soccer coach Glenn Roeder had emergency life-saving surgery to...
Hirshey: Meeting The Deadspin Three
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
Tom Cruise Has His Hooks Into The Beckhams
Poor David Beckham. He had his heart set on attending the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes wedding until the evil bastards that run Real Madrid told him to get his ass back to the team. He's dealing with a knee injury and thought he'd go enjoy the nuptials, but his coach wasn't going for it. He ordered him...
Today In The Premiership...
• Sheffield United 1-2 Manchester United. Wayne Rooney put Manchester United on his back today and earned them a crucial 2-1 victory over Sheffield United. Sheffield led after a goal in the 13th minute, but a couple of clean Rooney strikes gave the Reds the win. I don't think Rooney's performance ...
Schoolhouse Rock
Back when we played youth sports, our parents had just one rule: no fraternizing with heavy metal bands. In England however they are much more lax. You may have heard of this already, but a North Hykeham, Lincoln U-10 soccer coach, in search of a team sponsor, came up with the idea of asking Motor...
Meanwhile, In English Soccer ...
And the punch line is, of course, the match still ended scoreless....
Hirshey: Who Doesn't Love Some Dynamo?
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
Today In The Premiership...
Aston Villa 1-0 Everton. Not a great day for Everton... midfielder Tim Cahill was taken out on a stretcher, and they lost at home to Aston Villa despite dominating the play for long stretches of time. The extent of Cahill's injury isn't known just yet, but since a stretcher was required, the injur...
It Should Also Help With Crowd Impulse Control
Apparently, they've been running low on sperm in England, not just in general, but at the sperm banks. So, to make sure that any perspective sperm recipients receive the goods from the most intelligent, calm, rational donors possible, sperm banks are considering setting up shop right outside Premi...