Today In The Premiership...

• Sheffield United 1-2 Manchester United. Wayne Rooney put Manchester United on his back today and earned them a crucial 2-1 victory over Sheffield United. Sheffield led after a goal in the 13th minute, but a couple of clean Rooney strikes gave the Reds the win. I don't think Rooney's performance can compare, however, to the guy who bit off Sheffield United goalkeeper Paddy Kenny's eyebrow in a bar brawl on Monday, as if that guy's not ugly enough. We have to much to learn in America about brawling and supporting our favorite teams.

• Chelsea 1-0 West Ham. Geremi scored from a free-kick 20 yards away for the only goal of this game; a goal that the Soccernet report describes as "delicious." I thought it was OK, but it lacked texture. The win for Chelsea keeps them just three points back of Manchester United at the top of the table.

• Arsenal 1-1 Newcastle. Hey, congratulations on that big tie, Newcastle. That pulls them just barely out of the relegation zone... at least for now. They're tied with Sheffield at 10 points, with Watford and Charlton below them with 9 and 8, respectively. Arsenal's still trying to get themselves back into the league race, but 9 points back of Chelsea and 12 back of Manchester United, these draws at home aren't going to do the trick.

English Premiership Scoreboard