soccer Page 306 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Smiles, Everyone! Smiles!
As we mentioned Tuesday, FIFA president Sepp Bladder wants to get Marco Materazzi and Zinedine Zidane together on an island for a final reconcilliation concerning the infamous World Cup head-butting incident. But after a full 24 hours of being mocked by the British tabloids, this crackpot scheme may...
They Might Want To Think About Whether Or Not They Should Rehire That Ref
So you might have heard about the ballboy who scores a goal for his soccer team and the refs inexplicably count it, but until you've actually seen it, you can't really appreciate the ludicrousness of it....
Hirshey Quickie: And Just For Kicks, Bring Your Sister
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
Hirshey: Sweetness And Light In The Prem
David Hirshey writes weekly about the Premiership for Deadspin....
Today In The Premiership...
• Everton 3-0 Liverpool. Now that is how you embarrass a rival team. The Toffees served up an ass-beating to their neighbors, with Tim Cahill putting Everton on the board in the 23rd minute, and Andrew Johnson finishing Liverpool off with goals in the 35th and the 90th. Everton finds themselves at t...
Do Toilets Burn Darker?
Remember back when we told you about the soccer fans in Brazil who were setting fire to portable toilets? Well, The Offside, the soccer blog who mentioned it initally, thinks it has footage of the burning, though the evidence appears to be "portable toilets probably produce blacker smoke."...
Your Non-Headbutting European Soccer Update
We don't know a lot about soccer, but even we know that this doesn't appear to be cricket. In a move not seen since Brandon Cruz pitched for a Little League team named the Yankees in the film Bad News Bears, Chelsea's William Gallas has threatend to score an own goal if club manager Jose Mourinho fa...
Today In Soccer...
The Premiership is taking the day off, due to some Euro 2008 qualifying games, and some other international friendlies going down. But the big story right now is Carlos Tevez moving from Brazilian club Corinthians to Premiership team West Ham. A guy like Tevez, you'd think would prefer a bigger club...
Collect Your Miniature Violent Soccer Fans
See, here's an idea we can get behind. A British toy company is producing Little Hooliganz, actions figures of the crazed fans of each of the English Premiership teams. You've got Terrible Henry from Arsenal, Dangerous Dirk from Chelsea and Ard Man Aaron from Newcastle. For those who prefer their so...
Hirshey: Arsenal's Impotence
David Hirshey writes about the English Premier League for Deadspin....
Today In The Premiership...
Fulham 1-0 Sheffield United. It's Jimmy Bullard's world. You just live here. After scoring the game winner for Fulham against Bolton earlier in the week, Jimmy Bullard singlehandedly carried Fulham to victory over Sheffield United. Bullard also leads the league in pretty hair curls and weirdfuck p...
Your Hans Moleman Special
Because we have a busy day tomorrow, and because of Josh Levin's amusing "America's Funniest Home Videos" piece on Slate, and because we're blown away by the 300-plus (and counting!) brilliant comments on the last story, we happily reward you with one of life's basic, most human pleasures. Enjoy....
When Good Celery Goes Bad
On Wednesday we brought you the inspiring true story of Mr. Celery, a mascot for the Wilmington, Del. Blue Rocks Single-A baseball club. But across the vast Atlantic, there are also various celery-related incidents in sports. Reader Jeff ("Tonker") reports:...
Hirshey: Arsenal Off To Sister-Kissing Start
Is it too early to award Chelsea the Prem title? I mean, why not get it over with and wrap (or even better, garotte) a Portuguese scarf around the Special One's neck, bronze John Terry's captain's armband, apologize for all the mean things we said during the World Cup about Frank "Totally Frank" L...
Today In The Premiership...
• Manchester United 5-1 Fulham. A little bit of order was restored after a couple of unlikely draws during yesterday's play. Up first, Man United notched five goals against a Fulham defense that's described in the BBC article as "shambolic," a word that isn't used nearly enough. Wayne Rooney and C...
Today In The Premiership...
Reading 3-2 Middlesbrough. Give it up for Reading, the only team in the Premiership named after a railroad on the Monopoly board. They came back from a 2-0 deficit to win their first Premiership game, 3-2 over Middlesbrough. Boro scored twice in the opening 21 minutes, and it was all Reading from ...
It's England Premier League Time!
The sad, doe-eyed, holy-crap-mum's-gonna-kill-me-if-I-come-home-without-tickets look of this young boy can only mean one thing: The English Premier League is back! We're going to occasionally have our our man David Hirshey filing reports for us, but for now, it's just time to get, like, excited an...
Today In The Premiership...
• Cristiano Ronaldo, hated by everyone in England a month ago, was actually welcomed quite warmly by the Manchester United fans at Old Trafford today. He notched a goal and an assist in United's 3-0 victory over Sevilla. After he and beloved Wayne Rooney got into it during the Portugal/England quart...
Embracing The Colors
The Major League Soccer All-Star Game featured one team of All-Stars from MLS against Chelsea, the reigning champions of the English Premier League, and, thanks to their insane payroll, kinda like a World All-Star team. The MLS team won, 1-0. Here are two sides of the story. First, Dwayne De Rosar...
We Can't Believe This Hasn't Happened In Philly Yet
From the Videos That Scare You To Your Very Core Department comes this from-the-stands video of Brazilian soccer team Gremio supporters at a game last weekend. If you think this isn't terrifying enough, here's, as Paul Harvey might say, the REST of the story:...