sports Page 682 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's The Balls-Out Levon Helm Grammy Awards Memorial Tribute Performance Of "The Weight"
First things first: as rock critic Steven Hyden said immediately after this performance, it only proved further that nobody could sing a song quite like Levon Helm could sing a song. Regardless, pulling together some superstars for a rockin' performance of "The Weight," that song cool guys sing at...

Here Are Two Consecutive Sentences About Yankees President Randy Levine's Westminster-Bound Labrador, Mitch
Here's all the background you need: Randy Levine is the President of the New York Yankees and has a dog that will be competing in the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. OK, ready?...

Let's Talk About The Secret To Gregg Williams's Success
We told you earlier in the week how Gregg Williams was simultaneously reinstated by the NFL and hired by the Tennessee Titans. But that's not entirely true, is it? It seems quite clear that the real Gregg Williams never did make it back from his backpacking expedition through the "remote villages o...

Clark Kellogg On Victor Oladipo And A Baby's Bottom: "Smooth And Sometimes Explosive"
Indiana, clutching to its No. 1 ranking for a few more days, bounced back from an upset loss to Illinois Thursday night and beat Ohio State today 81-68....

Felix Hernandez's Contract Extension May Fall Through Because Of An "Elbow Issue"
On Thursday it was reported that the Mariners and staff ace Felix Hernandez had agreed to seven-year, $175 million contract, the signing of which was a mere formality to be completed by spring training. Apparently the source speaking on condition of anonymity because the contract is not official has...

This Is The Line For Single-Game Marlins Tickets Minutes Before They Went On Sale
So, the Marlins are not exactly popular in Miami ever at the moment. Whether it is the $1.2 billion dollars Jeffrey And The Amazing Technicolor Stadium the county's on the hook for, the unwillingness to spend money on a major league roster or the appurtenant fire sales, the Marlins are really not p...

Soccer Player Who "Went For A Shit" Pretends To Wipe His Ass In Goal Celebration
Back on January 21 against Everton, Southampton midfielder Jason Puncheon left the pitch for a brief moment and returned to a chorus of "He went for a shit" chants. Everyone laughed and had a good time at his expense. Yesterday, Puncheon scored against Man City in the seventh minute and returned t...

Two Savannah State Students Recorded Themselves Sneaking Into The Super Bowl
If walking past dozens of police and security guards while sneaking into the Super Bowl is not brazen enough for you, these two guys decided to film themselves doing it, too. According to Savannah Morning News, what you see below is "footage of how they snuck into the stadium just in time for Beyo...

"This Is The Greatest Thing I've Ever Seen": An Actual, Live Condor Gets Loose At A Hockey Game
Man may think he has control over wild beasts, but that is only because the beasts allow it to be so. During the National Anthem of a Bakersfield Condors (ECHL) game a bird man attempted to bring a condor to a perch set up at center ice. Things quickly and hilariously unravelled....

<i>Saturday Night Live</i>'s Cold Open Spoofed The Super Bowl Blackout
It's been a week since the Super Bowl, but Saturday Night Live is a weekly show, unfortunately airing the night before Super Bowl Sunday, so they just got around to pointing out the uselessness of studio shows. Keenan Thompson as James Brown guides the skit and has some fun when, at his wit's end, h...

Condoleezza Rice Beaned A Lady At The Pebble Beach Pro-Am
A day in the life of former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, who is competing in the Pebble Beach National Pro-Am:...

Five New Jersey Mayors Are Threatening To Withhold Police And Emergency Services From Next Year's Super Bowl
Many a lame observation has been made about the likelihood that next year's Super Bowl at MetLife Stadium will be ruined by bad weather like the stuff we've got now. It's silly. Rare is the storm that dumps a foot of snow on the New York metropolitan area, and rarer still is the football fan that wo...

Phil Mickelson Fell Down
In the unquestionable sports highlight of this or any year, Phil Mickelson fell on his ass today while trying to find a golf ball at Pebble Beach....

To Avoid Criticism, Shabazz Muhammad Must Collapse With Joy When His Team Wins
Shabazz Muhammad is proving a good canary in the coal mine for figuring out if we've dispensed with the superstar-athlete-doesn't-care-about-team-play concern trolling as we've grown more sophisticated about the complexity of the NCAA and the intellectual laziness of humping tired sports cliches. We...

This Heartwarming Story About A Small-Town High School Basketball Game Will Warm Your Heart
The Oregonian just published a story (with video!) that the reporter realized wouldn't jilt the planet off its axis. The lead, after all, reads: "In a small gym in the middle of nowhere, two boys locked eyes last fall in the final seconds of a meaningless, one-sided high school basketball game." Su...

Watch Wisconsin's Ben Brust Hit A Half-Court Buzzer Beater To Get The Badgers Into Overtime In Their Win Over Michigan
Wheeee! (Is it just us, or does the P.A announcer literally say "Wheeeee" after the shot?) That's Ben Brust of Wisconsin hitting one of his four threes on the day, and getting Wisconsin into an overtime against #3-ranked Michigan. Well, formerly #3-ranked Michigan. The Badgers outscored the Wolver...

The Second Weird Baseball Injury Of 2013: Red Sox Prospect Bryce Brentz Shot Himself In The Leg
How hard are guns to clean, really? "Man shot in leg while cleaning gun," "Man shoots self while cleaning gun," "SAPD: Man shoots self while cleaning gun," "Florida Man Shoots Himself In Crotch With Flare Gun." (The guy with the flare gun wasn't cleaning it—but the story does note that this Septembe...

Here's The U.S. Men's National Team Friendly In Tampa That <em>Outside the Lines</em> Thinks Was Fixed By A Singaporean Crime Syndicate
On Monday, we noted that the director of Europol, which conducted an investigation into the massive match-fixing scandal that has called into question a great deal of soccer's recent history, was a little surprised that the plot infiltrated the United Kingdom. Europol's Rob Wainwright told reporte...

At UNC, "One Of The Worst Academic Fraud Cases In American History" Has Been Traced Back To One Guy
The University of North Carolina's academic fraud scandal has deepened and widened, and local officials have done the sensible thing in locating a fall guy. A brief refresher on why they need one: In December, an investigation officially found what had seemed probable from Julis Peppers' unintention...

Sports In The Storm: The Knicks Were Stuck In Minnesota, The Spurs Were Stuck In Detroit, And The Bruins Had To Reschedule
You are not the only one somewhat inconvenienced by the white stuff on the ground outside: The Knicks spent last night stuck in Minneapolis, the Spurs couldn't escape from Detroit until an hour ago, and the Nets had to take a train:...