sports Page 778 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tiger Woods Streaks Back To Win The Memorial Thanks To This Astounding Chip-In At 16
He's back! Maybe! While Tiger Woods is casting a somewhat-less-imposing shadow these days (blame the therapeutic shoes) his round today was nothing short of amazing—battling illness, he came from behind to win the Memorial in Dublin, increase his tour ranking to #4, and inspire the sort of expect...

Patrice Evra Wipes His "Backside" With A Teammate's Shirt, France Beside Itself
What you see here is, evidently, a grown man and professional athlete wiping his "backside" with a shirt and then sniffing it. This quote, which is being attributed to a Parisian magazine, Le 10 Sport evidences France's apoplexy....

An Idiot On The Field In Detroit Today Tried To High-Five Nick Swisher
The final out of today's Yankees-Tigers matchup at Comerica Park was delayed by a (fully-clothed) fan who took advantage of lax/slow/forgiving security and roamed around the field for close to a minute....

Terrell Owens Claims He Is Not A Jerk To Sick Kids, Threatens Lawsuit
Things are getting serious in the Terrell Owens-indoor football team tiff. As we have covered, Owens was released because he failed to show up for some event for sick children—that was the spin, anyway....
![Jaguars WR Justin Blackmon Arrested On Suspicion of Aggravated DUI [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17onn270wbc91jpg.jpg)
Jaguars WR Justin Blackmon Arrested On Suspicion of Aggravated DUI [UPDATE]
The Jaguars first round draft pick is being held in a Stillwater, Oklahoma jail on $1,000 bail after he was arrested on aggravated DUI charges. A police report has not been made available yet, but the team is aware of the report....

Looking To Burn $5,000? The University Of Colorado Has You Covered
Right now on something called Higher Ed Surplus—a division of Public Surplus, which is like eBay for public agencies looking to get rid of their shit—the University of Colorado is auctioning off its 16-year-old basketball (and volleyball) court for the low, low price of $5,000. Now you can personall...

Hawk Harrelson Has "Sacks Packed With Seamen"
We received several tips about this and considered it to be sort of juvenile. Yes, yes, Hawk Harrelson said "seamen" and it sounds like "semen" and his "sacks are full of them." But then we actually watched our footage and started laughing. Maybe that makes us juvenile, who knows, but it's pretty ...

Pablo Sandoval Under Investigation For Alleged Sexual Assault
Rehab was going pretty well for San Francisco's third baseman, Pablo Sandoval, until sometime mid-afternoon Friday: working out and rehabbing on his own, enjoying a break from the daily grind of Major League Baseball, getting a little "consensual, personal relationship of a sexual nature" action....

Muhammad Ali Is Still The Greatest
The NCAA tournament came to Louisville Tucson this weekend, and the GOAT decided to take in last night's Arizona-UL game in his hometown retirement refuge. Unfortunately, his Cardinals were trounced by the Wildcats, but that's not the most regrettable aspect of the evening. ESPNU's cameras lingered...

Santana No-Hitter Gets Asterisk In St. Louis
I've never read the St. Louis Post-Dispatch before in my life, but I have to say, this cover page right here, correctly noting that Johan Santana was aided by a blown call at third base, is about as unbiased as it gets. Anyone crying "homerism" just doesn't get it....

Does Our Mystery Mets Dong Belong To Ike Davis?
Last night we showed you a sneak peak inside the Mets locker room provided by SNY. Today, an industrious reddit user has taken several context clues and mashed them together with a few inferences and a dash of "sure, I measured the length between my penis and the floor" to come to the conclusion th...

Do Not Ask Kurt Busch About His Probation, Or He Will Threaten To Beat The Shit Out Of You
Resident NASCAR idiot Kurt Busch continued his campaign of jackassery Saturday after the Nationwide Series race at Dover today, verbally attacking a reporter who dared to ask about the probation NASCAR imposed after Busch's May 12 incident with Ryan Newman....

AP Discovers That SEC Schools Do Not Take Marijuana Use As Seriously As The NCAA
The Associated Press has a really long article about all this research they did with regard to smoking pot in the SEC. The long and the short of it is this: different schools police themselves differently and they all are much more lenient on their own stoner scholar athletes than the NCAA....

Today In Photograph And Caption Synergy: Caroline Wozniacki Shits A Return
Maybe she had a stomach bug? Maybe she was tired of all the 40-all scores? Whatever the reason, Woz laid a stinker on the court at the French Open today and was ousted by Estonian Kaia Kanepi, 6-1, 6-7 (3-7) 6-3....

ESPN's Brad Daugherty Promos NBA Playoff Game As "Paul Pierce & The Celtics Vs. LeBron James & The Officials"
ESPN analyst Brad Daugherty is one of the network's best NASCAR minds, but it was in basketball that he originally made his fortune. Thus, the NASCAR Countdown studio crew handing the reins for the promo reader of tomorrow night's Eastern Conference Finals game over to Daugherty was probably obvio...

LaMarcus Aldridge Rushed To Hospital With "Deadly" Blood Virus, Writes LaMarcus Aldridge
While he has been rehabbing from hip surgery in May, LaMarcus Aldridge has been posting on his blog called LA's Rehab Central, part of the Trail Blazers Bloggers Network. The other two posts on the blog are quick updates about how his rehab is progressing. They are pretty innocuous posts along the ...

Bubba Watson Involved In Menacing Late-Night Car Chase
So this is a weird one, and it's from Ohio. Bubba Watson was in Columbus this week for the Memorial Tournament—a tournament for which he did not make the cut. But he has a pretty good excuse: for 37 minutes Tuesday night, some unknown driver chased a car carrying Watson, his wife and newly adopted ...

Florida's Jonathon Crawford Threw The First Postseason No-Hitter In 21 Years Last Night
#1 Florida's opening-round NCAA tournament game against Bethune-Cookman proved history-making, as sophomore pitcher Jonathon Crawford no-hit the Wildcats for the Gators' first solo no-hitter since May 23, 1991—when John Burke kept Furman hitless....

Johan Santana No-Hit The Cardinals, Carlos Beltran Still Pissing Off Mets Fans
Johan Santana threw the first no-hitter in New York Mets history last night and, of course, it all hinged on Carlos Beltran. In the top of the sixth, Beltran hit a rocket down the third base line that was ruled foul and was clearly fair. It would be much ado about nothing, since these things happen...

Michelle Beadle's Final Day At ESPN Included A Licking From Mackerel Jordan
The very first time Deadspin mentioned Michelle Beadle, it was to feature a video of her being eaten by inflatable ZOOperstars mascot Mackerel Jordan. It's fitting, then, her departure from ESPN (a nine minute long staged ceremony that was equal parts sweet and contrived) had her saying goodbyes to...