sports Page 879 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Stinky Jinx Makes Greinke Cranky
Zack Greinke makes the cover of Sports Illustrated (the first Royal in 16 years) and promptly loses his 43-inning scoreless streak. I thought this guy was great at overcoming obstacles or something. [FantasyPros911]...

If You're Reading This Post, You Now Have Swine Flu
The state of Texas is postponing all of its high school sports activities (plus some nerdy stuff) in order to keep their filthy population from spreading the deadly pork-based flu virus. You may commence panicking....

The Snuggie Finds Its Great Untapped Market
The Snuggie will soon be available in the colors and logo of your favorite college teams? Ok ... now I'll buy one. [CNBC]...

Girl, 12, Throws Perfect Game, Is Called Up By Mets
The taunting rings in your ears and burns like fire, and will for years. A girl pitched a perfect game against your Little League team, and you struck out three times. Nelson Muntz approves....

Which Of These Nightmare Fuels Will Be The New St. John's Mascot?
What, no giant talking beer keg? St. John's has a storied and troubled history when it comes to mascots, and the current vote to find a new one is not going to help, it appears....

The Continuing Sports Media Evolution Of Condi Rice
According to sources at HBO, at a production meeting last week, staffers were informed that former Sec. Of State Condoleezza Rice's agent had inquired about her joining Bryant Gumbel's "Real Sports" reporting team....

Behold The Frankenstein Boston Sports Tattoo
Spring is here, which means that once again the Boston sports tattoos are uncovered in all their glory. Look, here's an insane interesting one....

Lies, Damned Lies, And Swimsuit Issues
Sports Illustrated publishes a fake letter to the editor about their Swimsuit Issue and the world nearly explodes. You know....I think some of those Penthouse Forum stories might be slightly embellished as well. [Cleveland Frowns]...

Sidney Crosby Gets The Philadelphia Salute; Deadspin Almost Falls Apart
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Trailblazers, I Am Told, Are Often Misunderstood
Um so…did I mention I am also recovering from a sinus infection? How about a YouTube clip of children using obscene language?...

Never Before Has Chico's Bail Bonds Been A More Practical Sponsor
Come on, who hasn't had a Little League coach who's been caught with over a kilo of cocaine and an unregistered weapon? It's part of growing up. At least in Alabama....

Wait, So Now Naked Softball Hazing Is A Bad Thing?
I remember a time when you couldn't find a hotel pool in Florida that wasn't full of naked high school softball players during spring break. But now, apparently, it's called "hazing."...

Someone Thinks That East Carolina Should Update Its Logo
The hunt is on for the rapscallion responsible for this: An update of East Carolina University's pirate logo. Yes, it may be time for all pirate-themed teams to turn in their swash, and their buckle....

Isiah Thomas Promises No More Sex Harassing, Suicide Attempts, Personal Salaries
In the latest installment of the Isiah Thomas career makeover, our hero magnanimously told the assembled press corps that his first year's salary as coach of FIU will be given back to the school....

Down In Front, Regis! Celebrity Fans And Why We Hate Them
It's Waxing Off, the Internet feature that was planted in the ground by God to test our faith. This week's topic: The scourge of celebrity sports fans....

'Where's The Love?,' Asks Blogger Who Broke Green Death Email Story
Call this the story of how a Boston blogger broke the "Green Death Crazy Soccer Coach Email" story, yet somehow failed to get any credit for it....

Sports Center Has A New Look. Wheee!
It is a world ruled by machines; antiseptic, efficient, pitiless ... like The Matrix, only without the warmth. Sports Center's new graphics are even more curious than before. And you cannot help but watch....

Massachusetts Girls Soccer Coach Resigns Over Hilarious, Possibly Insane Email
If George Patton had coached a girls soccer team, he probably would have run things this way; only without so many references to red meat. Meet Michael Kinahan, ex-coach of the Scituate, Mass. Green Death....

When Porn Meets Sports, Vol. II
They're calling this The Gailey Position, or, The Dade County Toothbrush. I find nothing funny about it, and wish people would just grow the hell up. (Hee hee). [Every Day Should Be Saturday]...

The Last Sports Pickle In A Jar
The ball-friendly satirical magic of Sports Pickle has been bought by CollegeHumor Media. You know what that means — a lifetime supply of Busted Tees. Seriously, congrats go out to DJ Gallo'. [IAC Press Release]...