stanley Page 32 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Don't Ask Marian Hossa For Stock Market Advice
The dogpile on Marian Hossa has been sufficient and thorough. The Wings beat Hossa's Penguins last year. Then the Penguins beat Hossa's Red Wings. Goat cheese....
Only Minimal Arrests? For Shame, Pittsburgh
"We have a few arrests. For the most part people are being orderly but we've got a few people who don't want to leave." C'mon, Pittsburgh. That's no way to usher in a Crosby regime. [Post-Gazette]...
Depressed Urban Zone Saved By Valiant Sports Team
All of Pittsburgh's troubles as a shrunken post-war manufacturing center are over now that the city has its third Stanley Cup championship and its second major sports title this year. Detroit, sadly, will be boarded up and shipped to Borneo....
NHL Season Just Might End Tonight
Here we are. Game 7. Should I spend the next few paragraphs trying to regurgitate as many clichés as I can about the finality of the ultimate do-or-die scenario or just show you a picture of Greg Ostertag on skates?...
Nicklas Lidstrom's Busted Ballsack And Other Tales Of NHL Woe
If Detroit captain Nicklas Lidstrom looked a little sluggish at times during this Stanley Cup Finals, he has a very, very, very good excuse. He suffered a "nearly catastrophic" testicle injury in the Conference Finals. Now how do you feel?...
NHL Did Not Rig The Stanley Cup Finals
Conspiracy theorists are apoplectic after learning that Red Wings' 2009 Stanley Cup Championship gear is already available for sale on the NHL website, but the cooler heads at Puck Daddy have already proven that the Penguins got the same treatment....
Please Do Not Leave Your House During Game Six
So here we are again ... one year after Pittsburgh lost a tough Game 6 clincher at home to Detroit, we're right back where we started. Only you have to watch tonight's version on your home TV, you ingrates....
Red Wings Show Their Age, Penguins Show Them The Door
For the first time in the Stanley Cup Finals, the Red Wings looked sad and old, while the younger, vitamin-eating Penguins skated circles around them to even the series. And none of us stayed up to watch "The Tonight Show."...
What Are You Watching Tonight?
Game 4 (pivotal!) of the Stanley Cup Finals is tonight. So is Game 1 (crucial!) of the NBA Finals. Which one is more important to you and/or your bookie?...
I Guess Pittsburgh Isn't Laying Down Quietly
The Penguins got a home game last night and now everything has changed! After taking care of Detroit in a must-win Game 3, the Stanley Cup Finals have become, say it with me ... a series....
Red Wings Wondering If Game 3 Could Please Be Played Tonight
Everyone was a little concerned about the "two games in two days" thing, especially the Detroit Red Wings who are old and don't walk so good anymore, but after the way they've handled the Penguins this weekend, they would probably like to wrap things up with a day-night doubleheader today....
How Does Marian Hossa Feel About His Choice Right Now?
The best subplot of the Stanley Cup Finals is the tale of Marian Hossa, who turned down a long-term deal from Pittsburgh after last year's Final to join up with the team that vanquished him and his Pengiuns. I bet he didn't expect to run into those guys again....
Your Wealth, Now In Wayne Chrebet's Bare Hands
SUBJECT: Wayne Chrebet: FROM: [redacted]@citi.com. "Saw this yesterday, only my firm would hire an ex nfl player who retired because of too many concussions. IMAGINE THE FINANCIAL ADVICE HE COULD GIVE! Please do not attach my name to this, I'd get fired." [Bloomberg]...
And You Thought Winning The Spelling Bee Was A Longshot
"Over the years words like "Ilanders" (Islanders), "Leaes" (Leafs) and "Bqstqn" (Boston) have found their way onto the Stanley Cup, while more than a dozen players and coaches have had their names butchered." That's Sidney with an I, Louise St. Jacques! Someone with a silent S should know better. [W...
Pens Fans Attempt to Distract Capitals With Funny Faces
The Penguins have evened the score with the Capitals at 2-2 in after two periods of play in Washington. In other news, this Pittsburgh fan seems to be quite taken with Washington's coach Bruce Boudreau....
Gary Bettman Does Not Appreciate Your Octopus-Throwing Antics
A Red Wings fan throwing an octopus on the Columbus Blue Jackets home ice? Sir, this will not stand! (Scuffle ensues — see photo)....
ESPN Headline Writers Are Witty Rapscallions
Well isn't that special. But in ESPN's defense, there's probably not a whole lot you can do with news like this. [ESPN]...
Your NHL Playoffs Are Ready
The matchups and schedule are set for the first round of the NHL playoffs. I hope your Versus subscription is up to date! [Puck Daddy]...
Stanley Pringle Still Ignoring Your Creative Taunts
As basketball nicknames go, The Library Masturbator is probably greater than even Dr. J or Black Mamba. Man, I hope Stanley Pringle makes it to the NBA....
The Red Wings Are Taking Good Care Of Lord Stanley's Cup
The Detroit Red Wings have been partying it up with their newly acquired Stanley Cup, taking it to defenseman Chris Chelios' downtown Detroit restaurant for a night of boozing. Play nice with her, fellas. Oop. Too late. You already damaged it. Busted Coverage has a short recap of some of the revelry...