stanley Page 33 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Gary Bettman Does Not Appreciate Your Octopus-Throwing Antics
A Red Wings fan throwing an octopus on the Columbus Blue Jackets home ice? Sir, this will not stand! (Scuffle ensues — see photo)....
ESPN Headline Writers Are Witty Rapscallions
Well isn't that special. But in ESPN's defense, there's probably not a whole lot you can do with news like this. [ESPN]...
Your NHL Playoffs Are Ready
The matchups and schedule are set for the first round of the NHL playoffs. I hope your Versus subscription is up to date! [Puck Daddy]...
Stanley Pringle Still Ignoring Your Creative Taunts
As basketball nicknames go, The Library Masturbator is probably greater than even Dr. J or Black Mamba. Man, I hope Stanley Pringle makes it to the NBA....
The Red Wings Are Taking Good Care Of Lord Stanley's Cup
The Detroit Red Wings have been partying it up with their newly acquired Stanley Cup, taking it to defenseman Chris Chelios' downtown Detroit restaurant for a night of boozing. Play nice with her, fellas. Oop. Too late. You already damaged it. Busted Coverage has a short recap of some of the revelry...
Loving That Stanley Cup
As is abundantly clear around here, we're hardly the biggest hockey experts, but we're still human, which means we really love the Stanley Cup Trophy. So rarely is any piece of hardware treated with such reverence; heck, in baseball, they try to hump the damn trophy....
Enterprising Red Wings Fan Finds Clever Way To Give The Penguins More Money
19-year-old Zach Smith, native of Cleveland but lover of the Red Wings, devised an ingenious scheme that would not only allow him to throw an octopus on the ice of Mellon Arena last night before Game 4 but still be able to watch the game after he got tossed. His very canny, super savvy plan: buy an...
If R. Kelly Should Be On Trial For Anything, It's Inspiring This
The MERKIN mercilessly turns out attention to this spoof of R. Kelly's "Ignition" honoring the Red Wings' Henrik Zetterberg. Does this mean he pees on girls, too? ...
Careful, It's Slippery
This angle, for which I am ever thankful the morning after, is not the greatest; CBC's camera had a better view, combined with two men sitting on the ice a couple feet away wearing Red Wings apparel, laughing their octopi-molesting asses off. At first I thought those two seedy Michiganders had somet...
Who Wants A Trophy-Shaped Cup? (Cup-Shaped Trophy?)
There once was a man by the name of Stanley, who decided that average trophies were not good enough for hockey teams, so he went and sculpted a cup based on a napkin drawing by Nigel Tufnel. The trophy was supposed to be 35 feet tall, but he got his inches and feet mixed up....
The Bus Needs Directions to the Stanley Cup Finals
The Deadspin Stanley Cup Finals Preview is brought to you by the five former Mouseketeers at Melt Your Face Off. And no, neither Britney nor Lindsay would give them the time of day....
Stanley Pringle: Jackin' It
You know, it's really annoying when athletes-masturbating-in-libraries stories break in the evening and we have to wait until morning to write about them. If we can't be your leader in library masturbation coverage, we're not sure what our point is....
Ducks Fans, Your Decade-Plus Of Suffering Is Over
We congratulate the Anaheim Ducks on their first Stanley Cup title last night. We can't imagine the relief of Ducks fans across the nation, who were able to sleep easy last night, knowing they must no longer fear that they, like their grandfathers and other ancestors, will die without seeing their b...
Not Much Hockey Left To Go
After last night's Stanley Cup Finals Game 4, an Anaheim victory over Ottawa to take a 3-1 series lead, it appears that the NHL will remain true to tradition: The Stanley Cup will be presented in Orange County. It seems as if there could have never been any other way....
You Won't See Any Sammy Pahlsson Coverage On Al-Jazeera
we're not gonna make a "nobody watches the nhl" joke ... we're not gonna make a "nobody watches the nhl" joke ......
NHL Fans Are That Much More Special Today
If you didn't watch the Stanley Cup Finals Game 2 last night — and of course you did — you might have missed this odd shot of Snoop Dogg, who, for reasons unbeknown to anyone but him (and probably not him either), was wearing a fake mustache....
Stanley Cup Finals Pants Party: Ducks Vs. Senators
We're taking Memorial Day off, as you've surely noticed — though we're excited LeBron and the Jazz have given us something to pay attention to — but we are doing one post: A preview of the Stanley Cup Finals. They drop the puck tonight at 8 p.m. ET, with the Anaheim (Not Mighty) Ducks against the Ot...
Fortunately, Nobody Wants To Watch A Playoff Overtime
As MJD pointed out yesterday, NBC, amazingly, cut away from the Senators-Sabres Game 5 overtime yesterday to show ... the first two hours of the Preakness prerace coverage. That's right: Rather than show the most exciting part of an entire hockey season, NBC chose to show Bob Costas interview people...
Pity The Poor Buffalo Fan
Heading into the NHL playoffs, the subplot we were most excited about involved the Buffalo Sabres, a team with a long-suffering but rabid — we mean literally rabid; it's in the Buffalo drinking water — fanbase and a No. 1 seed. After they beat the Rangers, it all appeared to be coming together. At l...
NHL Stanley Cup Pants Party: Red Wings Vs. Ducks
We have always found it amusing that Anaheim decided to take the positive modifier "Mighty" out of its name; we know they wanted to avoid the Disney context, but usually when there's a "Fighting" or a "Runnin'" in there, it's supposed to be a good thing. Now they are Ducks, simply Ducks....