steroids Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Barry Bonds Ain't Got Nothin' To Lose
Barry Bonds is amazing. Just a couple of days ago, he said he planned on losing a little bit of weight in the offseason, which is kind of like Courtney Love saying, "hey, my behavior is going to be a little erratic in the next few months, but it has NOTHING to do with cocaine. So you know." And no...
Congress Leaves No Steroid Unturned
Hey, here's something: Congress is looking into whether or not Orioles mustache rider Rafael Palmeiro lied to them back in March. To remind you how that went:...
Jose Canseco, Professional Wrestler (Of Course)
We're not even going to pretend to be surprised here: Jose Canseco is rumored to making an appearance at Wrestlemania this spring. Perhaps it is telling that the people who are most concerned about this development are not baseball fans, but wrestling fans. Seems like the WWE — remember, that's wh...
The Amazing, Vanishing Barry Bonds
You have to love Barry Bonds. How can you not? Barry is now officially the only athlete (or, for that matter, President) we believe when he says he "doesn't read the paper."...
McGwire Returns To Site Of Much Needle Poking
Apparently, Mark McGwire is finally available to talk about the past. In one of his very few public appearances since his retirement — we count that testimony before Congress, Jack Buck's funeral and a bunch of golf tournaments — the once-beloved-now-embattled slugger will attend the final weekend...
Jacked-Up Ref Will Not Be Taunted Online
Notoriously overmuscled NFL referee Ed Hochuli has long been a popular figure with the gay sports fan community, thanks to his cartoonishly large biceps. (Apparently, gays aren't the only fans; witness this hilarious roundup of homoerotic comments by CBS analyst Phil Simms, including some drooling...
Barry Returns, Giants Fans Remember What Life's Like
Well, our boy Barry Bonds returned to the Giants last night, and other than the blantantly terrible spelling on the front of his jersey (come on, people; G-I-A-N-T-S, it ain't that hard!), it was an smashing success all around. Bonds almost homered, the crowd showered him with nothing but Californ...
Jose Canseco Is Scaring The Children
Shown here at the premiere of the new Samuel L. Jackson movie The Man — most famous for being used as a special new form of torture for Katrina refugees at the Astrodome — Jose Canseco, Hollywood action star, shows off an outfit he got from Madonna's "Vogue" video....
Price For Mustache Rides Drops Dramatically
We can't help but notice something: It has been a bad few days for the mustache. Pittsburgh coach Dave Wannstedt is 0-2 as coach of his alma mater. Orioles steroid pariah Rafael Palmeiro is gonna hide for the rest of the season, probably for the rest of his career. And the patron saint of this, To...
A Steroid Family Feud
We know it's NFL Kickoff Night, and we know it's kind of a bummer to finish our first day with a post about baseball, but we just find it tough to resist a couple of steroids guys feuding. (We always imagine them having counterintuitive arguments about who has smaller testicles.)...
Jose Canseco, Master Thespian
We suppose this career transition makes sense. Baseball's most inexplicable Paul Revere Jose Canseco, after meeting with Oliver Stone, has now decided he's going to be an action star. The LA Times details his almost directly vertical climb, including his strange decision to hire a complete moron a...
Raffy To Apply His Cream Back Home, Alone, Sans Earplugs
He's tried earplugs, he's tried refusing interviews, he's even tried shaving the mustache (OK, wishful thinking there), but since none of that worked, Rafael Palmeiro is taking his burgeoning erection and going home. He's officially "rehabbing his knee," in the same way that Jimmy Hoffa was "garde...
Sayonara, Sammy
It would be safe to say that it has been a difficult year for Orioles outfielder Sammy Sosa. He had that somewhat inexplicable testimony before Congress, where he apparently forgot that he knew how to speak English quite well. The Cubs ran him out of town, and he showed up in Baltimore just in tim...
The Deprogramming of David Wells
It's a sad day when Boston fathead David Wells is turned into a Stepford Drone, but it has happened. On Monday, Wells blasted commissioner Bud Selig and essentially accused him of covering up the Rafael Palmeiro steroid bust, which, frankly, the rest of us all think too. But once Wells left his em...
Wells Gets Detention, Call Home to Parents
After his pissed-off comments Monday, Boston pitcher David Wells has been sent to the principal's office. Wells, who blasted commissioner Bud Selig and accused him of covering up steroid results, was summoned to New York to chat with baseball brass. Interestingly enough, Selig himself is unlikely ...
Screw Steroids; It's All About Compression Socks
You know, athletes don't just use steroids as performance enhancers; that wouldn't be any fun. The Guardian UK takes a look at some of the more unusual tricks of the trade for runners and other athletes, including compression socks, cashew nuts and porridge....
Wells Digs His Own Hole
It's always amusing when Boston elderly punk David Wells pops off, but we have a suspicion that when he verbally attacked commissioner Bud Selig after his six-game suspension for bumping an umpire was upheld, he might have got himself in some real trouble this time....
We're Not Sure Whom We're Supposed To Hate
David Pinto at brings up something we were kind of curious about: If admitted steroid abuser Jason Giambi hits a home run off suspended steroid abuser Ryan Franklin (which he did last evening), uh ... whom are we supposed to get mad at? Would Nationals manager Frank Robinson say it just didn't ha...
Oliver Stone and Jose Canseco in the Same Room. Yep
We won't lie: We'd totally watch this movie. According to Newsday, Oliver Stone (of course) is doing a movie about "a steroid conspiracy, and he has met with whistleblabber Jose Canseco to be a part of the project. Stone, whose Troy flopped and is supposedly working on a 9/11 movie with Nicolas Ca...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while writing a musical based on the movie "Fargo" ... • Puberty — nature's steroids. Hawaii wins Little League World Series. • Speaking of steroids: Giambi's 7 RBI lift Yankees. • Danica Patrick proves that women drivers are just as capable as men when it comes to ... wait, she just...