steroids Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Now, Big Mac?
Tomorrow night, beleaguered former hero Mark McGwire will make his first public appearance since those pesky steroid hearings back in March. At Busch Stadium in St. Louis, former players and various local luminaries — we saw Ray Lankford and Illini basketball coach Bruce Weber earlier this year — ...
Congressional Steroid Hearings End Four Days Early
Wrapping Up The Congressional Steroid Hearings:...
Steroid Hearings: Look, They Invited The NHL!
More From The Congressional Steroid Hearings...
We Watch Steroid Trials So You Don't Have To
We love you so much, that we're actually willing to sit through these Congressional steroid hearings, chaired by Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), who we still think could beat up the entire "Inside The NFL" staff in a fight. (We're not counting Bob Costas, who you totally know would just run away.) Any...
Set Tivos To C-SPAN!
Like most people, we watched last spring's and summer's steroid hearings with many healthy dollops of amusement; it was alternately:...
The Lactating Rafael Palmeiro
Well, now it appears that the "secret source" for Rafael Palmeiro's steroid wasn't a "source" or, for that matter, a "steroid." (But Palmeiro's name was, in fact, spelled correctly.) It turns out that Palmeiro told Congress that Orioles shortstop Miguel Tejada gave Palmeiro a B-12 Vitamin, which i...
Raffy's Mystery Roiding Buddy
Having exhausted the bottomless well of information that is Jorge Piedra, Congress is now investigating whether a teammate might have provided Orioles mustachio Rafael Palmeiro with steroids. Supposedly, Palmeiro said in closed-door testimony that he was given the substance by a fellow Oriole "by ...
Could Bonds Be The New Karl Rove?
We'd never thought about this before — mainly because politics scares and confuses us — but in a weird way, this kind of makes perfect sense: Barry Bonds is the Karl Rove of sports. Think about it. Bonds sticks to his guns no matter how ridiculous his position; he says he's going to do something, ...
Barry Bonds Ain't Got Nothin' To Lose
Barry Bonds is amazing. Just a couple of days ago, he said he planned on losing a little bit of weight in the offseason, which is kind of like Courtney Love saying, "hey, my behavior is going to be a little erratic in the next few months, but it has NOTHING to do with cocaine. So you know." And no...
Congress Leaves No Steroid Unturned
Hey, here's something: Congress is looking into whether or not Orioles mustache rider Rafael Palmeiro lied to them back in March. To remind you how that went:...
Jose Canseco, Professional Wrestler (Of Course)
We're not even going to pretend to be surprised here: Jose Canseco is rumored to making an appearance at Wrestlemania this spring. Perhaps it is telling that the people who are most concerned about this development are not baseball fans, but wrestling fans. Seems like the WWE — remember, that's wh...
The Amazing, Vanishing Barry Bonds
You have to love Barry Bonds. How can you not? Barry is now officially the only athlete (or, for that matter, President) we believe when he says he "doesn't read the paper."...
McGwire Returns To Site Of Much Needle Poking
Apparently, Mark McGwire is finally available to talk about the past. In one of his very few public appearances since his retirement — we count that testimony before Congress, Jack Buck's funeral and a bunch of golf tournaments — the once-beloved-now-embattled slugger will attend the final weekend...
Jacked-Up Ref Will Not Be Taunted Online
Notoriously overmuscled NFL referee Ed Hochuli has long been a popular figure with the gay sports fan community, thanks to his cartoonishly large biceps. (Apparently, gays aren't the only fans; witness this hilarious roundup of homoerotic comments by CBS analyst Phil Simms, including some drooling...
Barry Returns, Giants Fans Remember What Life's Like
Well, our boy Barry Bonds returned to the Giants last night, and other than the blantantly terrible spelling on the front of his jersey (come on, people; G-I-A-N-T-S, it ain't that hard!), it was an smashing success all around. Bonds almost homered, the crowd showered him with nothing but Californ...
Jose Canseco Is Scaring The Children
Shown here at the premiere of the new Samuel L. Jackson movie The Man — most famous for being used as a special new form of torture for Katrina refugees at the Astrodome — Jose Canseco, Hollywood action star, shows off an outfit he got from Madonna's "Vogue" video....
Price For Mustache Rides Drops Dramatically
We can't help but notice something: It has been a bad few days for the mustache. Pittsburgh coach Dave Wannstedt is 0-2 as coach of his alma mater. Orioles steroid pariah Rafael Palmeiro is gonna hide for the rest of the season, probably for the rest of his career. And the patron saint of this, To...
A Steroid Family Feud
We know it's NFL Kickoff Night, and we know it's kind of a bummer to finish our first day with a post about baseball, but we just find it tough to resist a couple of steroids guys feuding. (We always imagine them having counterintuitive arguments about who has smaller testicles.)...
Jose Canseco, Master Thespian
We suppose this career transition makes sense. Baseball's most inexplicable Paul Revere Jose Canseco, after meeting with Oliver Stone, has now decided he's going to be an action star. The LA Times details his almost directly vertical climb, including his strange decision to hire a complete moron a...
Raffy To Apply His Cream Back Home, Alone, Sans Earplugs
He's tried earplugs, he's tried refusing interviews, he's even tried shaving the mustache (OK, wishful thinking there), but since none of that worked, Rafael Palmeiro is taking his burgeoning erection and going home. He's officially "rehabbing his knee," in the same way that Jimmy Hoffa was "garde...