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Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: Stop Global Warming
This is a feature wherein we celebrate Jose Canseco by creating motivational posters out of his actual tweets. We believe it is in this context that the world can best appreciate our favorite Bash Brother....
![FA Cup Match Abandoned After Bolton's Fabrice Muamba Collapses Midgame [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
FA Cup Match Abandoned After Bolton's Fabrice Muamba Collapses Midgame [UPDATE]
Today's FA Cup clash between Tottenham Hotspur and Bolton Wanderers was suspended after Bolton midfielder Fabrice Muamba collapsed on the pitch and was given CPR in the first half of the match....

Topps Sued For Firing Employee, Then Putting Him On A Trading Card
In the fall, Topps released a handful of very odd cards. Dubbed "American History Relics," they were five-card runs of John Henry, Pecos Bill, and Leif Ericson. Despite their rarity, the cards were a flop — one sold for $84 on eBay — perhaps because they were so strange. Card collectors like collect...

Let The NBA Lockout Last Forever; Drew Gooden's Got Chicken Wings To Sell
The Bucks' Drew Gooden is opening four new Wingstop restaurants in the Orlando area. "I did lot of research on different franchises," he says, before admitting he really wanted to own a Five Guys Burgers but there were none available. Wings are good too. [Orlando Business Journal]...

The Fan Who Threw A Banana At A Black Hockey Player Did Not Know It Would Be Seen As Racist
From the AP: "The lawyer for a man accused of throwing a banana at a black NHL player says his client deeply regrets what he did and had no idea his actions could be seen as racist."...

The Fan Who Threw A Banana At A Black Hockey Player Has Been Arrested
Police in London, Ontario, held a press conference this afternoon to announce the arrest of 26-year-old London resident Christopher Moorhouse for allegedly throwing a banana at Wayne Simmonds of the Philadelphia Flyers. The incident happened when Simmonds, one of the NHL's few black players, was at...

Dodgers Game Marred By Giants Fan Trying To Interrupt The "Don't Stop Believing Guy"
The blog "Vin Scully Is My Homeboy" started its Friday off with a post titled, "Giants fan tries to disturb 'Don't Stop Believin' Guy,'" with DSBG being somewhat of a Chavez Ravine Idol contestant who performs Journey for his fellow attendees. The horror. And at the last home game of the season, n...

Usage Note: "It's The Dallas Football Cowboys," Says Jason Stupid Garrett
We already flagged the absurdity of Dallas Cowboys coach Jason Garrett's announcement that this year's rookies will have to earn the right to wear the logo of a team that's hasn't won anything since those rookies were in the Pop Warner Tiny-Mite division. Go ahead, treat the Cowboy star as a rah-rah...

Kathie Lee And Hoda Had Their Own Boob-Grabbing Point-Counterpoint This Morning
The Today ladies have picked up on boob-grabbing. They're calling it a "new trend," and Kathie Lee doesn't like it one bit but Hoda likes it fine as long as it's "your own little secret." KL's bottom line is that the "grabee" must enjoy the "grabber's grab" for a boob grab to be okay, which I'm pr...

Diamondbacks Front Office Uses All-Star Game As Excuse To Lip Synch Worst Song Ever Created
Somebody in the Arizona Diamondbacks organization decided that the best way for the staff to promote the 2011 MLB All-Star Game, which will be held at Phoenix's Chase Field on July 12, was to dub Smash Mouth's "All Star." We're impressed by the unity and enthusiasm shared by the organization, but ...

Looks Like We'll Have To Wait A Smidge Longer For The 2012 Olympics
On Monday evening, the London Olympic team unveiled a glimmering 500-day countdown clock in Trafalgar Square to mark the Games' impending arrival....

Ron Jaworski Reminisces About Past NFL Work Stoppages
Former Philadelphia Eagles QB and current ESPN football analyst recently discussed his memories of NFL work stoppages in 1982 and 1987. He thinks the lack of off-season work hurts the QB position particularly hard and doesn't buy it when today's players say they'll keep working out because, back i...

If You Mess With The Skunk, You Get Face Punched
So, former pro wrestler Christopher "The Skunk" Antal, who lost a mayoral bid in Massachusetts and pretended to urinate on a Brazilian flag on his cable-access show, was just charged with punching a 59-year-old woman in the face....

Why Is Danny Ainge Dicking Around On His Phone When He Should Be Working?
Last Wednesday, UConn and Kentucky faced off in the Maui Invitational Final. Kemba Walker had blown the tournament up in the previous games and saw his NBA Draft stock rising, so why was Celtics GM Danny Ainge so bored with the proceedings?...

Of Course Christopher Walken Uses A Typewriter
You are now reading this in Christopher Walken's voice....

Guy Who Looked Like Tim Lincecum Doesn't Look Like Tim Lincecum Anymore
Wiley Wiggins—the actor who played Tim Lincecum doppelganger Mitch Kramer in Richard Linklater's classic Dazed and Confused—did an interview with the Wall Street Journal following Tim Lincecum's historic playoff debut. Turns out he doesn't look like Tim Lincecum anymore....

Tiger Woods Can't Stop Swearing, Breaking Promises To Stop Swearing
Tiger Woods, whether he's chastising himself or enthusiastically congratulating a friend, cannot stop swearing—around his kids, no less. Oh fuck no....

Spurs Spank Young Boys 4-0
(Although one of The Spoiler's favourite was a piece of subtle brilliance from Sky Sports' Bill Leslie: "Young Boys struggle to keep clean sheets.")...

Great Moments in White History*
Let the historical record reflect that the first White Man to complete a timed 100-meter race, on foot, in under 10 seconds, was Christophe Lemaitre. In unrelated news, Usain Bolt reportedly keeps looking over his shoulder ... with, like, Hubble binoculars....

World Cup Open Thread: Honduras-Chile
Day 6 kicks things off with two of the favorite countries of coup d'etat enthusiasts. Honduras's nickname, Los Catrachos, is based on a mispronunciation of the last name of a general who was the basis of a bizarre Ed Harris movie....