stop Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kathie Lee And Hoda Had Their Own Boob-Grabbing Point-Counterpoint This Morning
The Today ladies have picked up on boob-grabbing. They're calling it a "new trend," and Kathie Lee doesn't like it one bit but Hoda likes it fine as long as it's "your own little secret." KL's bottom line is that the "grabee" must enjoy the "grabber's grab" for a boob grab to be okay, which I'm pr...
Diamondbacks Front Office Uses All-Star Game As Excuse To Lip Synch Worst Song Ever Created
Somebody in the Arizona Diamondbacks organization decided that the best way for the staff to promote the 2011 MLB All-Star Game, which will be held at Phoenix's Chase Field on July 12, was to dub Smash Mouth's "All Star." We're impressed by the unity and enthusiasm shared by the organization, but ...
Looks Like We'll Have To Wait A Smidge Longer For The 2012 Olympics
On Monday evening, the London Olympic team unveiled a glimmering 500-day countdown clock in Trafalgar Square to mark the Games' impending arrival....
Ron Jaworski Reminisces About Past NFL Work Stoppages
Former Philadelphia Eagles QB and current ESPN football analyst recently discussed his memories of NFL work stoppages in 1982 and 1987. He thinks the lack of off-season work hurts the QB position particularly hard and doesn't buy it when today's players say they'll keep working out because, back i...
If You Mess With The Skunk, You Get Face Punched
So, former pro wrestler Christopher "The Skunk" Antal, who lost a mayoral bid in Massachusetts and pretended to urinate on a Brazilian flag on his cable-access show, was just charged with punching a 59-year-old woman in the face....
Why Is Danny Ainge Dicking Around On His Phone When He Should Be Working?
Last Wednesday, UConn and Kentucky faced off in the Maui Invitational Final. Kemba Walker had blown the tournament up in the previous games and saw his NBA Draft stock rising, so why was Celtics GM Danny Ainge so bored with the proceedings?...
Of Course Christopher Walken Uses A Typewriter
You are now reading this in Christopher Walken's voice....
Guy Who Looked Like Tim Lincecum Doesn't Look Like Tim Lincecum Anymore
Wiley Wiggins—the actor who played Tim Lincecum doppelganger Mitch Kramer in Richard Linklater's classic Dazed and Confused—did an interview with the Wall Street Journal following Tim Lincecum's historic playoff debut. Turns out he doesn't look like Tim Lincecum anymore....
Tiger Woods Can't Stop Swearing, Breaking Promises To Stop Swearing
Tiger Woods, whether he's chastising himself or enthusiastically congratulating a friend, cannot stop swearing—around his kids, no less. Oh fuck no....
Spurs Spank Young Boys 4-0
(Although one of The Spoiler's favourite was a piece of subtle brilliance from Sky Sports' Bill Leslie: "Young Boys struggle to keep clean sheets.")...
Great Moments in White History*
Let the historical record reflect that the first White Man to complete a timed 100-meter race, on foot, in under 10 seconds, was Christophe Lemaitre. In unrelated news, Usain Bolt reportedly keeps looking over his shoulder ... with, like, Hubble binoculars....
World Cup Open Thread: Honduras-Chile
Day 6 kicks things off with two of the favorite countries of coup d'etat enthusiasts. Honduras's nickname, Los Catrachos, is based on a mispronunciation of the last name of a general who was the basis of a bizarre Ed Harris movie....
Just In Case There Was Any Doubt That It Was Greg Oden's Penis
The formal letters from Oden's management, BDA, have invaded the inboxes of websites across the country, including (surprise) ours. The letter is attached below. It is safe for work....
Cum On Feel The Poise
Mark Sanchez threw for 100 yards and a pick yesterday, but he also managed not to light himself on fire or dance the hoochie coochie at midfield, so once again everyone has termed his performance — sigh — poised....
Poise To Men
Mark Sanchez went 12-for-15 and threw for 182 yards in his first playoff victory, and because at no point during the game did he chuck the ball into the Ohio or crap himself, he was deemed a model of poise....
Farm Poise
At last, we have someone to fill the void left by Mark Sanchez roughly seven interceptions ago. Meet James Vandenberg, Iowa's starting quarterback and America's new avatar of poise....
Coach Tries Knife Threats To Get Through To Players
Revolutionary motivational techniques from a prep school football assistant coach: practice harder or I'll cut you....
Good Ol' Poise
What have we here? Two young, relatively unformed quarterbacks who play efficiently enough in winning efforts to be anointed with hollow praise? And they're going head-to-head? America had a poisegasm yesterday — and perhaps found a new talisman of poise....
The Lost Poise
Mark Sanchez threw three picks in yesterday's loss to the Saints, and on the season he has five interceptions against four touchdowns, all of which means that sportswriters must now address the grave matter of Sanchez's inexplicable lack of poise....
This Man Has An Opinion On The NL West
Former Journey lead singer Steve Perry is a Giants fan. "Don't Stop Believin'" is the Dodgers' 2009 anthem. That, in the journalism industry, is what we call: conflict!...