stop Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Just In Case There Was Any Doubt That It Was Greg Oden's Penis
The formal letters from Oden's management, BDA, have invaded the inboxes of websites across the country, including (surprise) ours. The letter is attached below. It is safe for work....
Cum On Feel The Poise
Mark Sanchez threw for 100 yards and a pick yesterday, but he also managed not to light himself on fire or dance the hoochie coochie at midfield, so once again everyone has termed his performance — sigh — poised....
Poise To Men
Mark Sanchez went 12-for-15 and threw for 182 yards in his first playoff victory, and because at no point during the game did he chuck the ball into the Ohio or crap himself, he was deemed a model of poise....
Farm Poise
At last, we have someone to fill the void left by Mark Sanchez roughly seven interceptions ago. Meet James Vandenberg, Iowa's starting quarterback and America's new avatar of poise....
Coach Tries Knife Threats To Get Through To Players
Revolutionary motivational techniques from a prep school football assistant coach: practice harder or I'll cut you....
Good Ol' Poise
What have we here? Two young, relatively unformed quarterbacks who play efficiently enough in winning efforts to be anointed with hollow praise? And they're going head-to-head? America had a poisegasm yesterday — and perhaps found a new talisman of poise....
The Lost Poise
Mark Sanchez threw three picks in yesterday's loss to the Saints, and on the season he has five interceptions against four touchdowns, all of which means that sportswriters must now address the grave matter of Sanchez's inexplicable lack of poise....
This Man Has An Opinion On The NL West
Former Journey lead singer Steve Perry is a Giants fan. "Don't Stop Believin'" is the Dodgers' 2009 anthem. That, in the journalism industry, is what we call: conflict!...
Why Your Team Sucks: Oakland Raiders
Some people are fans of the Oakland Raiders. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Oakland Raiders. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Leitch-Hating Matador Records Co-Owner Loses Home In Fire
Gerard Cosloy, indie-music maven and proprietor of sporty blog Can't Stop The Bleeding, posted the photo you see here, writing: "This was a hell of a way to get out of hoovering the living room." Condolences. [CSTB, via Steady Burn]...
Josh Hamilton Clears The Air, His Conscience And Pleads "Human"
Thanks to Kevin at Big League Stew for his amazing Twitter updates from the Hamilton press conference, attended by Yahoo's(!) Jeff Passan....
A One-Day Study On Use And Variance Of "Pussy" Uttered By Brian Urlacher
First Bobby Wade said that Brian Urlacher called new teammate Jay Cutler a pussy. Urlacher denied it. Then Urlacher said the radio stations starting this nonsense were the pussies. Explanations and clarifications disrupt a quiet Wednesday in the Windy City....
Today Everyone Is Finally Convinced Kobe Bryant Is One Of The NBA's Greatest Despite His Shaq-Filled, Jizz Bomb Past
The Lakers still need two more games to close out the Magic, but those people who never doubted Kobe's true greatness for most of his career are filing early to get a leg up on those who did....
A Day At The Races, With Larry King!
Item: CNN's Larry King, the former USA Today Beat poet and godfather of Twitter, has a new memoir dropping. Today's excerpt, in which a down-and-out Larry hits the racetrack, is as awesome as you'd expect....
Rajon Rondo Likes Fast Cars, Absurd Amounts Of Caffeine
First of all, how could Red Bull pick an NBA player as its first spokesman, and not have him be a member of the Chicago Bulls? Seems like a tragic misstep to me. [Break Media] [Rajon Rondo Blog]...
Toronto, We're Not In Creighton Anymore
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Michael Silver To Josh McDaniels: “You Haven’t Done Dick”
For this week's Deadcast, we brought on Michael Silver from Yahoo Sports (who sounds remarkably like Leonardo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) to talk about the Jay Cutler situation. And retractable third arms....
Officer Who Stopped Ryan Moats Cries No Mas, Quits Dallas PD
You've seen the video, you've marveled at the tattoo. But you won't have Dallas police officer Robert Powell to kick around anymore; his attorney announced today that Powell has resigned....
Will Raiders Go Truly Retro On NFL's Opening Throwback Weekend?
How quickly we forget that before Al Davis took over the team in 1963, the AFL franchise was scheduled to be named the Oakland Senòres. [San Francisco Chronicle]...
Charles Barkley Wants To Punch Rush Limbaugh
In his first interview since being released from prison on Monday, Charles Barkley talked to WIP radio in Philadelphia, where he quickly noted that Rush Limbaugh has a big ass, and needs to be punched....