stop Page 12 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
PETA Vs. Canada ... You Knew It Had To End This Way
See, this is where PETA miscalculated rather badly; I would have no problem clubbing a guy in a baby seal costume. In fact, I'd walk several blocks out of my way to do it....
Mike Van Ryn Is Having A Rough Year
The NHL season is only a few weeks old, but for Toronto Maple Leafs defenseman Mike Van Ryn it probably feels like an eternity. Back in October, he removed a pane of glass from the boards in Boston with his face and on Saturday night he was on the receiving end of this rather nasty boarding penalty...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you move your boogie body ... shake it sugar do it to it! ... • Little League Baseball: World Series in South Williamsport, Pa., USA semifinal, Tampa vs. Lake Charles, La., (8 p.m., ET). These kids just happy to be away from the hurricanes and floods. [ESPN] • NFL: Preseason, San Fr...
And Now It's Time To Pretend Like The Last Four Months Didn't Happen
According to one prominent NFL reporter, the scenario of Brett Favre showing up to Packer camp (highly unlikely at the time) would be the equivalent of an "atomic bomb" going off in Green Bay. Favre's ghost and public spectacle were wearing thin on some of the Packer faithful as they attempted to tr...
Favre Protesters Mark The Coming Of End Times
The Favre shit is going to drag out longer than the war in Iraq. First presidential candidate to put the kibosh on this story gets my vote in the next six elections. It can even be Ralph Nader. He was right about the Kings-Lakers series years back, after all. Anyway, a bunch of fucking Cheesetards ...
Peter King Knows The Motivations Of His Bretty Boy
Favraro's Log. Gunsling Date: Sometime in the middle of the ponderous NFL off-season where shit like this can dominate the headlines for weeks on end. Somewhere, off the distance, did hove into view a great assemblage of bullshit about Brett Favre. FUCK! It's coming right for us! Take evasive actio...
And Now For News That Isn't Fair
The gal on the left there, her name is Adriana Lima. (Just in case you wanted a name to go with the wet dream later on.) The guy on the right is some kind of basketball player named Marko Jaric. One of them has about 8½ million Google searches. The other, not even 200 grand. Hopefully Ms. Lima signs...
Thieves Boost Giants Super Bowl Rings
If you see a decidedly un-athletic-looking character parading around town with a Giants Super Bowl ring — and it's not Eli Manning — then please call your local authorities immediately. It's probably hot; part of the haul from big Attleboro jewelry heist this past weekend....
The Legend Of Kimbo Slice Takes 38 Consecutive Blows To The Head
I can't speak for the other MMA newbs out there, but I learned a few things during the EliteXC broadcast last night: apparently all MMA fights are stopped well before necessary. That and Kimbo Slice might not be living up to his outsize reputation. First, the announcer described internet sensation w...
Drogba Blows Kisses, Hirshey Blows
Didier Drogba and Chelsea just finished off Arsenal at the Bridge 2-1, moving the home team in to second on the table. Drogba scored two goals in the second half to bring the Blues back from a one goal deficit. Chelsea now stands just five points shy of Manchester, and speaking of them......
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Tiger Is Unstoppable
Tiger Woods just put away Stewart Cink record fashion at the WGC Match Play Final by a score of 8&7. What that means is that Tiger was leading by 8 holes with just 7 remaining in their 36-hole match. Although they never got anywhere near that 36th hole, Tiger managed to pile up 11 victorious holes t...
About Last Night
What you missed while unleashing hell with a rubber band gun ... • NBA: Celtics win, Earth returns to normal orbit. • College basketball: Knight's 900th win is rather meaningful ... Texas Tech 68, No. 9 Texas A&M 53. • NFL: OK, his name is very similar to Tony Soprano. We get it. Dolphins hire Spara...
About Last Night
What you missed while coughing up tinsel ... • NFL: Every time a bell rings, a Washington Redskins player gets his wings. • College football: Rock, a hula-baby, rock ... East Carolina 41, Boise State 38 • NHL: Boss Hossa ... Thrashers 3, Blues 2....
Scary Morning In Indianapolis
Early this morning a series of gunshots were fired into the car of Indiana Pacers guard Jamaal Tinsley wounding Joey Qatato, the team's equipment manager. The Indy Star has the full story....
Scary Morning In Indianapolis
Early this morning a series of gunshots were fired into the car of Indiana Pacers guard Jamaal Tinsley wounding Joey Qatato, the team's equipment manager. The Indy Star has the full story...
Searching For Comedy In The Muslim World
Hmmm. I thought Bush said that the U.S. doesn't torture?...
NASCAR Fans Are Apparently Contagious
We've never been to a NASCAR race, but we imagine their big drunken vats of fun. We think it would be a grand time. The House Homeland Security Committee apparently doesn't agree ... unless they've gotten their shots, anyway....
Beano Cook Will Park Wherever He Damn Well Pleases
Alternate headline: Despite Will's Best Efforts, The 49ers Still Converted The Field Goal....
Sunday Game Update Bukkake
Apparently the Patriots are good (but we still hate them). Randy Moss hauls in nine for 183 yards and all the white Patriots fans can glory because Wes Welker got in the endzone as well. Did Belichick shake Mangini's hand? Do I care? Well, actually — no, I mean, no....