stupid Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Messi, Beckham, Pelé Sign For An English Club You've Never Heard Of
This is so dumb....

Yes, Sidney Crosby Should Get To Skip The DMV Line
Sidney Crosby renewed his driver's license at the DMV this week. Unlike all of the rest of us, he didn't have to wait, thanks to Pennsylvania state policy. GET ANGRY (or don't because this policy actually makes sense)....

Bryce Harper Sparks Dumb Baseball Beef, Dumber Twitter Spat
Bryce Harper stared at a homer for a little too long for the Braves' liking tonight. This got him plunked, and allowed the people running the teams' Twitter accounts to further cheapen the meaning of beef....

Here Is A Crow Moving A Ball At The Women's British Open
A crow interrupted the final round of the Women's British Open on Sunday to move a ball, apparently so minor a thing that it did not even rate a mention from the announcers....

In Lieu Of UFC Highlights, Embarrassing Videos Of A UFC Executive VP
The UFC, a leading mixed martial arts promotion, has an exciting pay-per-view card scheduled tonight, on which fighters will surely demonstrate beautiful artistry and competitive spirit. We would like to show you brief clips or .gifs of the exciting action, which would perhaps encourage you to buy f...

NBA Ref Finds Love On JDate, Has Times Square Billboard To Prove It
JDate.com is a dating website which matches single Jewish people with other single Jewish people. But is it a place to find true love? It is according to this billboard in Times Square, which features NBA referee Marat Kogut and his lovely wife Mariana. If you see Marat at an NBA game this year, be ...

<em>Fox & Friends</em> Anchor Throws Basketball Into Baby's Face
And not just any baby! No, this is the very same baby whose awful shooting form somehow turned him into an internet sensation a few months ago....

NBC's Fake <em>USA Today</em> Pages Actually Text From The <em>Chicago Sun-Times</em>
You may have noticed NBC running these stupid, horribly-Photoshopped USA Today pages on their sports broadcasts recently. The mockups were inane enough before we realized the text was plagiarized from a Chicago Sun-Times article about this year's Notre Dame-Michigan football game....

Does The Majority Party Have An Advantage In Congressional Ballgame?
Tonight, Congress will once again take part in its annual baseball game, an ultra-American tradition that dates back to 1909. The Democrats, led by Louisiana Ace Cedric Richmond, have won the last four, but Republicans have a new weapon in freshman Rep. Ron DeSantis. Both played serious college ball...

Bill Simmons Thinks Memphis Fans Get Tense Because MLK Was Shot There
For many years now, Bill Simmons has positioned himself as a kind of ULTRA fan. He's not simply the voice of the fan anymore. He is more fan than you. He understands fandom in a way that you could not possibly understand. He understands that when fans get loud, things are going well! And when fans ...

<em>Mike & Molly</em>, NBA Style: Part 1
You may have noticed that many of your favorite sports media platforms like to express ideas about the NBA through the prism of popular culture. Here's Grantland applying Game of Thrones plotlines to the NBA in a two-part series. Here's Sports On Earth turning players from the year's playoffs into a...

Holy Shit, Look At Jay Mariotti's Shoes
This picture comes to us from a reader who spotted Jay with a lady friend outside of the Club Monaco clothing store in Santa Monica, Calif., yesterday. Our tipster tells us that that Jay was "slumped on a bench" wearing a "sad/pouty look on his face" before his companion emerged and led him inside t...

Czech Republic Denies That It's Chechnya
A very important statement from the Czech Republic's ambassador to the U.S.:...

Here's Charles Barkley Wearing An Ill-Fitting Shirt
We received this image moments ago in an email from reader Tyler, with no text other than the subject "Charles Barkley Swapping Shirts with a Bro." ...

A Children's Treasury Of Dinosaurs Playing Sports
It's ridiculously nice outside, and I really want to knock off for the day and go see Jurassic Park in 3D, but the rest of the office isn't having it. So fuck 'em. Here are some internet drawings of dinosaurs playing sports....

A Note For Chipper Jones And Assorted Others, From The Editors Of Deadspin
What you're about to read is a stupid story about people being stupid with one another on the internet. Somehow, we're not involved (only we sort of are). It's stupid, and there are no lessons to be drawn except that there are days when the internet seems like nothing so much as a roomful of gibbons...

2012 Deadspin Hall Of Fame Inductees: Virgil And Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill
We are proud to present your 2012 (yeah, we know) Deadspin Hall of Fame class:...

It's A Bit Chilly In Colorado Tonight
The World Cup qualifier between the U.S. Men's National Team and Costa Rica is about to get kicked off outside Denver, and my goodness it looks cold. So cold, in fact, that Alexi Lalas and Kasey Keller are wearing ridiculous hats. (Bob Ley is hatless, because Bob Ley's balls are nuclear reactors and...