swineflu - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

LeBron James Is Sick In The Original Sense Of The WordLeBron and two teammates have tested positive for Influenza A, and the Cavs are treating them like H1N1 cases. Worse, King James just gave more fuel to the anti-vaccine crazies: He thinks he got sick from his flu shot. [ESPN]...

Please Wipe Down The Rim After DunkingAccording to the Boston Herald, the NBA has issued "an anti-handshake" directive, asking players to fist or chest bump each other to combat swine flu. Also, please use a handkerchief when boxing out. [Herald/NoGutsNoGlory]...
This Pig AIDS Aggression Will Not Stand, Man
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Landon Donovan Has Swine Flu
And no, he didn't get it from being showered in urine and vomit by Mexican fans. But here's your excuse for yesterday's match result, Sam's Army. [FanNation]...
Today In Mets Health Calamities
Jose Reyes out indefinitely with a torn hamstring tendon. Also: Johan Santana contracts scarlet fever, team forced to burn down Citi Field to avoid contamination. [New York Daily News]...
Mets Get Swine Flu Scare, Creating Conditions For Tabloid Perfect Storm
A producer for the Mets television network may have swine flu, and Carlos Beltran and John Maine both have unspecified stomach ailments. Rest assured this story will be handled with measured calm and forbearance by the New York media. Wait, what's that? "Pig Panic"? Never mind. [New York Post]...
NYC Pitcher Throws No-No After Dad Dies Of Swine Flu
Throwing a no-hitter or four in high school baseball? Passe. Doing it the day after burying your father, New York City's first victim of swine flu? Now we're talking....
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Mexican Soccer Player Red Carded For Swine Flu
Speaking of bold, unexpected strategies—Guadalajara defender Hector Reynoso has been banned from international competition because he spit and sneezed on opposing players and then told them he had swine flu....

Swine Flu Paranoia Reaches Alabama
Huntsville, Ala.: "Right now, we are being advised by our Medical Advisory Committee to shut down all activities until further notice." [ESPN.com]...

If You're Reading This Post, You Now Have Swine Flu
The state of Texas is postponing all of its high school sports activities (plus some nerdy stuff) in order to keep their filthy population from spreading the deadly pork-based flu virus. You may commence panicking....