tennis Page 67 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Two Down, Five Dirty Words To Go For Andy Roddick (Update, With Bonus Hangover Quote)
(Thanks to Rick for tracking down and grabbing the videos)...
Moon of Venus: It Appears One Williams Sister Forgot To Wear Her Bloomers
This just in from a reader named Luke who's watching the Australian Open highlights on ESPN2: Thong? No unders? Huh? Just on espn2 moments ago.... Raw hiney, after the jump. (NSFWish?)...
We Don't Play Australian Open Tennis In Your Toilet, So Please Don't Pee On Our Court
An Australian Open match was delayed by 40 minutes today when a (nervous? sick?) ballboy peed himself on the court. At least he has a long fruitful life of intense psychological therapy ahead of him. [The Age/Fanhouse]...
Forrest Gump Really Should Have Grown Up Somewhere Else
Silicon Valley engineers products and then exports them to the rest of the world. The latest innovation: ping-pong-playing robots disguised as small children, built from scratch to ruthlessly dominate the Olympics and win eternal glory for America. U-S-A!...
Andy Murray Plays Video Games, Kim Sears Falls Asleep Unfulfilled
No. 4-ranked tennis player Andy Murray was unceremoniously dumped this weekend by ladyfriend Kim Sears. Apparently his "seven hours a day" video game habit was a factor behind the split. We've obtained an EXCLUSIVE TRANSCRIPT of the pair's final conversation:...
Marat Safin Says Agassi Is "Stupid", Should "Shut Up"
Tennis-playing dude Marat Safin isn't exactly broken up over revelations that fellow competitor Andre Agassi was addicted to crank. If he feels so bad about it now, Safin says, then why not give back all that money he didn't win?...
Andre Agassi, Tweaker
In his forthcoming autobiography, which you no longer need to purchase because you know the only interesting part, Agassi admits he regularly took crystal meth. But who didn't do drugs and hook up with Brooke Shields in the '90s? [People]...
Hello There, Little Ball
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
The Jehovah's Witnesses Are Unhappy With Fellow Witness Serena Williams
"Furthering the teaching that Judgments are only for those outside the Organization, Serena Williams threatened a line judge with a dose of Jehovah's Witness authority yesterday. Her comments were blasphemous, having been used in connection with 'God.'" [Jehovahs-Witness.net]...
What Is Wrong With Our Angry Tennis Players?
Federer, bitching to the umpire about a late challenge by eventual winner Juan Martin del Potro: "Don't tell me to be quiet, OK? … I don't give a shit what he said, OK?" Such grace! [YouTube, AP]...
Chauvinist Tennis Player Not Too Young To Admire Bobby Riggs
Fourth-round U.S. Open loser John Isner says the No. 1 female tennis player in the world couldn't beat the 700 or 800th best man. You've come a long way, baby....
Melanie Oudin Apparently Sleeping On The Streets Of NY Tonight
America's sweetheart, at least until she loses, was ousted from the Times Square Marriott because her reservation was up. Maybe you shouldn't have made such a charmingly deep run in the bracket, Melanie! [SportsBusiness Daily]...
U.S. Open Tells Players To Get Off Twitter
Tournament officials warn players not to broadcast "inside information" via Twitter. (Apparently, people gamble on tennis.) Naturally, playerscomplain about it via Twitter. Also, women don't know how to serve or something. Who cares? As long as they keep grunting! [SMH/Switched/NYT]...
It Must Be Lust: Deadspin's 2009 U.S. Open Preview
Greetings, Deadspin tennis fans! It's that time of year again!...
Spend The Night In Roger Federer's Bed
Roger Federer has his own personalized $3,000-a-night suite at the Carlyle Hotel—with monogrammed pillows!—just for the two weeks a year he spends ruling the U.S. Open. Unfortunately, Rafael Nadal has the only key. [Observer]...
Tennismania, Anyone?
In individual tennis, arguments are tag-team affairs, at best. The danger of team tennis, though, rests in the possibility of a brawl. Or at least some prissy and passionate (but polite!) name-calling. Especially with John McEnroe involved. [D.C. Sports Bog]...
Lamest Excuse Ever Helps Tennis Player Beat Drug Rap
French tennis player Richard Gasquet told officials that the reason he tested positive for cocaine last March was because he kissed a woman who had cocaine on her lips....and that worked! Suspension over! It's strip club time! [BBC]...
USA Eliminated By Croatia In Davis Cup Quarters
This is utterly shocking news to those who had no idea the Davis Cup was even going on right now. [UPI]...
Actually, All Tennis Looks Like This On A Sunday Morning
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Tennis Stalking: Now With 100% Less Stabbing
Two days before the Indian tennis star's (arranged) engagement, two separate "lovelorn youth" were arrested for trying to profess their love to Sania Mirza at her Hyderabad home. [Times Of India]...