tennis Page 67 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Simona Halep Loses The Boobs, Loses
Simona Halep did indeed show up to the French Open significantly less top-heavy than she was a year ago, but she still lost in the first round. Hey, you don't just bounce back from something like that. [Mirror/Daily Mail]...
Venus Williams's Muscular Buttocks Make Another Appearance
We've spent a lot of bandwidth discussing whether Venus Williams wears underwear or not. Her French Open outfit yesterday did little to settle the matter. [NYDN]...
Sania Mirza, Telephone Weddings, And The Weirdest Love Triangle Ever
Mirza is India's biggest tennis star. So her engagement to a Pakistani cricketer makes them basically the Tom and Gisele of the subcontinent. There's a small problem: he might have already legally married another woman — over the phone....
Bode Miller? Never Heard Of Him
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Maria Sharapova Or Nicole Vaidisova Would Like To Help You With Your Small Penis
Copyranter found another "penis embiggening" web ad that (without her permission, most likely) uses the other blondtennis star RussianCzech tennis player to sell its magic girth pills. [Update: Fixed.][Copyranter]...
Agassi And Sampras Have A Catfight For Charity
Dear Haiti: please enjoy this donation of two of America's greatest tennis players ever, teasing and bickering like little children for all the world to see. No givesies backsies....
World's Worst Tennis Pro Still Suing British Newspapers For Declaring Him The World's Worst Tennis Pro
Robert Dee, the world's worst tennis pro, has wrung tens of thousands of pounds in damages out of media organizations that suggested he's the world's worst tennis pro, even though, yeah, he probably is the world's worst tennis pro. [Guardian]...
Last Night's Winner: People Who Don't Play Football
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like athletes who are suddenly going to get a lot more attention now that football season is drawing to a close. You've heard of "sports," right?...
Did Venus Go Commando?
The most pressing question of our time is, naturally, was Venus Williams wearing underwear at the Australian Open yesterday? We dig deep, breaking down the footage, to give you a definitive answer....
Two Down, Five Dirty Words To Go For Andy Roddick (Update, With Bonus Hangover Quote)
(Thanks to Rick for tracking down and grabbing the videos)...
Moon of Venus: It Appears One Williams Sister Forgot To Wear Her Bloomers
This just in from a reader named Luke who's watching the Australian Open highlights on ESPN2: Thong? No unders? Huh? Just on espn2 moments ago.... Raw hiney, after the jump. (NSFWish?)...
We Don't Play Australian Open Tennis In Your Toilet, So Please Don't Pee On Our Court
An Australian Open match was delayed by 40 minutes today when a (nervous? sick?) ballboy peed himself on the court. At least he has a long fruitful life of intense psychological therapy ahead of him. [The Age/Fanhouse]...
Forrest Gump Really Should Have Grown Up Somewhere Else
Silicon Valley engineers products and then exports them to the rest of the world. The latest innovation: ping-pong-playing robots disguised as small children, built from scratch to ruthlessly dominate the Olympics and win eternal glory for America. U-S-A!...
Andy Murray Plays Video Games, Kim Sears Falls Asleep Unfulfilled
No. 4-ranked tennis player Andy Murray was unceremoniously dumped this weekend by ladyfriend Kim Sears. Apparently his "seven hours a day" video game habit was a factor behind the split. We've obtained an EXCLUSIVE TRANSCRIPT of the pair's final conversation:...
Marat Safin Says Agassi Is "Stupid", Should "Shut Up"
Tennis-playing dude Marat Safin isn't exactly broken up over revelations that fellow competitor Andre Agassi was addicted to crank. If he feels so bad about it now, Safin says, then why not give back all that money he didn't win?...
Andre Agassi, Tweaker
In his forthcoming autobiography, which you no longer need to purchase because you know the only interesting part, Agassi admits he regularly took crystal meth. But who didn't do drugs and hook up with Brooke Shields in the '90s? [People]...
Hello There, Little Ball
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
The Jehovah's Witnesses Are Unhappy With Fellow Witness Serena Williams
"Furthering the teaching that Judgments are only for those outside the Organization, Serena Williams threatened a line judge with a dose of Jehovah's Witness authority yesterday. Her comments were blasphemous, having been used in connection with 'God.'" [Jehovahs-Witness.net]...
What Is Wrong With Our Angry Tennis Players?
Federer, bitching to the umpire about a late challenge by eventual winner Juan Martin del Potro: "Don't tell me to be quiet, OK? … I don't give a shit what he said, OK?" Such grace! [YouTube, AP]...
Chauvinist Tennis Player Not Too Young To Admire Bobby Riggs
Fourth-round U.S. Open loser John Isner says the No. 1 female tennis player in the world couldn't beat the 700 or 800th best man. You've come a long way, baby....