test Page 29 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cyclist Celebrates Victory A Lap Too Soon
Ryder Hesjedal's first name is the most unironic in professional cycling. His nickname is Weight of a Nation. Now he gets to be known as That Guy Who Celebrated Too Soon....
Roundup: Your Best A-Rod Out On The Town Photoshop Entries
We asked, and once again you delivered. What follows is the best of the photoshop contest submissions we got for this image of A-Rod hitting the town in Florida last week. You jerks never manage to disappoint....
Lolo Jones Live-Tweets Getting Drug-Tested During Her Birthday Party
Lolo Jones turned 31 last night. She also got a surprise visit from the PED police, which wasn't supposed to be part of the celebration. But Jones refused to let that spoil her good time, so she brought 'em along!...
Photoshop Contest: A-Rod Out On The Town
If you happened to see A-Rod dawdling around Florida in recent weeks, we still want your submissions. But it's a summer Friday, and while we all wait for MLB to decide on A-Rod's punishment, let's see what other kinds of situations we can put him in....
Taste Test: The Ruffles Ultimate Line, Which You Must Never Eat, Ever
Do not eat the Ruffles Ultimate chips and dips. Do not eat them. Don't ever eat them. Ever. They are awful, disgusting, hateful garbage; if they were a prank, no sane person in full possession of his or her faculties would ever fall for them. Don't eat them. Never eat them. Not ever. Never. ...
Metta World Peace Reacts Wonderfully To Reports Of His Pending Release
Now that it looks like the cap-strapped Lakers are going to amnesty Metta World Peace sometime in the next week to save $14.8 million, Metta World Peace has reacted on Twitter in the most Metta World Peace way imaginable....
Joey Chestnut Eats 69 Hot Dogs, Breaks Record, Wins 7th Straight Belt
Joey Chestnut retained the mustard-yellow belt and broke his own record with an astounding 69 hot dogs today at Coney Island, earning the praise of competitive eating mavens worldwide as he cruised to his seventh straight victory at Nathan's....
Vengeful Hot Dog Sends Young Pitcher Into Surgery After Contest
Happy birthday, America, and try not to kill yourself today. We knew the inherent dangers of errant fireworks and binge drinking, two hallmarks of this annual birthday rite. Now we learn this week that another summer tradition — the hot-dog chugging race — can also result in near-death experiences, ...
No "Malicious Intention" For Rugby Player Who Grabbed Opponent's Balls
This is a few days old, but forgive us for being so late with it. International news about testicle-grabbing in rugby sometimes takes a while to get to us....
Donté Stallworth Loves Gay Marriage, Argues With Twitter
Newly minted Redskins receiver Donté Stallworth has opinions on things! He was not a fan of the flu vaccine. But he is a huge fan of today's Supreme Court rulings that struck down the Defense of Marriage Act and killed Prop 8 in California. He took to Twitter to celebrate, and more than held his own...
Brazil's Protestors Should Be Angry At FIFA, Too
Originally published on Bloomberg View...
This High School Freshman Dunk Contest Is Just Foolish
This is Seventh Woods, Ivan Rabb, Malik Monk, Terrance Ferguson and Josh Jackson. They're jumping very high. They're at the national team's U16 basketball practice. U16....
Here's A Radio Stunt Involving Spilled Piss
Want to make watching a radio show on television interesting? Spill urine all over one of the hosts (maybe)....
MS Paint Contest: Design A Better Toronto NBA Team
New GM Masai Ujiri is already cleaning house, and there's speculation that the Raptors, approaching their 20th season, could be in for a full rebranding. New uniforms, new colors...even a new name? Here's where you come in....
Taste Test: Uncrustables. What Does The Crustless PB&J Say About Us?
One of parenthood's myriad challenges, as any parent will attest, is finding the time in one's overscheduled, playdate- and tedious-errand-choked day to make weirdo peanut-butter-and-jelly-stuffed pierogi to foist upon our frightened and sobbing children. Thankfully, somebody at The J.M. Smucker Co...
The SEC Might Get A Uniform Drug-Testing Policy, Which Is Dumb
Some SEC school officials have been pushing for the implementation of a conference-wide substance-abuse policy, a move that would regulate the testing and punishment policies for every school in the conference. Why are they doing this? Because they are sore losers....
This Is The Story Of The Shittiest Roommate Ever
Everything about this story stinks like shit....