test Page 34 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Appreciating The Genius Of Joey Chestnut Requires Watching Him Eat In Super-Slow Motion
Joey Chestnut retained the mustard-yellow belt at Coney Island today with a command performance, consuming 68 hot dogs (and buns) in ten minutes and falling just shy of setting a new "official" record....

Joey Chestnut Downs 68 Hot Dogs To Win Sixth Straight Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest
Well that was gross. Joey Chestnut just wrapped up his sixth straight championship at the world's most popular eating contest by mashing 68 hot dogs down his gullet in ten minutes. Chestnut had the contest in hand from start to finish, and gets to go on being called the world's best competitive eate...

How To Eat 1 Gallon, 9 Ounces Of Ice Cream In 12 Minutes Without Getting A Headache: The Secrets Of Ed "Cookie" Jarvis
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today: Ed "Cookie" Jarvis, a 46-year-old real estate agent, married father of two, cancer survivor, and retired competitive eater....

Insane Man Goes Hunting For Murderous "Testicle-Eating" Fish
Jeremy Wade hosts a show called "River Monsters," so I suppose this would fall under the show's umbrella. After hearing word of a fish that killed two men by eating their testicles, causing them to bleed to death, Wade decided to seek out the culprit....

How "Seven Nation Army" Conquered The Sports World
The Euro 2012 semifinals kick off today, and 69 goals in, you might have noticed one fan chant being sung after every single one. How did an eminently chantable White Stripes ditty become soccer's universal goal celebration? This piece, originally published Jan. 13, 2012, has your answers....

Marlon Byrd, Victor Conte's Most Famous Client, Suspended For PEDs
Marlon Byrd was supposed to be Victor Conte's character witness. For the past three-plus seasons, the journeyman outfield has been the only high-profile client of Conte's supplement business, a product line that's a tough sell since the whole BALCO mess. The BALCO name's gone (it's SNAC now), but Co...

Dottie Sandusky Takes The Stand, Doesn't Do Much To Help Her Husband's Cause
The trial of former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky began last week in Bellefonte, Pa. What follows is some of what's worth noting from today's testimony:...
![We Have A Winner For The Dumbest Story Ever Written About Derek Jeter [NSFW?]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17po8uagmcz3wjpg.jpg)
We Have A Winner For The Dumbest Story Ever Written About Derek Jeter [NSFW?]
We asked you on Monday, after a particularly objectionable item ran in the New York Post, to write the dumbest story ever about Derek Jeter. You did not let us down. ...

PSU Assistant Who Says He Saw Jerry Sandusky Raping A Boy Turned Out To Be Pretty Credible After All
A little more than a month ago, I declared that Mike McQueary, the prosecution's star witness in the Jerry Sandusky case, was "the worst witness ever." I had based my assessment on inconsistencies in statements McQueary is said to have made, both privately and under oath, since the release of the Sa...

Open Thread: Can You Write The Dumbest Story Ever About Derek Jeter?
Earlier today I suggested that Brian Lewis's New York Post piece today was the dumbest thing written about Derek Jeter....

Your Lee Corso Inflatable Duckie Photoshop Roundup
We have said this before: You guys are the best. So very talented and warped and idle in ways we can't even imagine. Yesterday we showed you a wonderful photo of College Gameday's Lee Corso riding a large inflatable duck, and told you to have fun with it. You did, and these are some of our favorites...

Break Out The Photoshop, It's Lee Corso On A Big Inflatable Duckie!
ESPN's College GameDay crew is out at USC, shooting some commercials. One of the behind-the-scenes photos is Lee Corso, wearing a 1920s swimsuit and riding a big yellow duck raft. Click the picture to enlarge, and please make some photoshops of this. Put them in the comments, and we'll feature the b...

Attention Twitter: Bills Receiver David Clowney Does Not Have HIV
OK, it's a little weird. But a quick scan of Clowney's timeline indicates a noble purpose behind his action: He was making a public-service announcement about the importance of getting tested and subtly declaring himself clean and ready for some humping. I can support this. "Tweeting your HIV test" ...

Alex Gordon Is The Best Advertisement For Wearing A Cup
For a fan, extra-inning games are only fun when your team wins. I stayed up past midnight for that? Well, how do you think Alex Gordon feels? The Royals took the first-place Orioles to 15 innings, only for Gordon, the game's last batter, to foul one off his little gentlemen. He would subsequently g...

Stephen Strasburg Got Icy Hot On His Balls Today
The Stras got knocked around in just four innings of work against San Diego today, and maybe you'd be tempted to write it off as a fluke. Sometimes a guy just has a bad day. But this is Stephen Strasburg, and nothing can make him mortal. Nothing besides, perhaps, burning testicles....

Here Are The Best Entries In Our Drunk, Sulking Patrick Kane Photoshop Contest
This fine entry kicked off our Patrick Kane photoshop contest, but somehow we knew our wise readers had more in store. And you did not disappoint. I've picked the best ones here—with special commendation for our winner at the end—because we can cram only so many images into a gallery, but keep in mi...

Why Did We Ever Think Ron Artest Was Interesting?
I was one of those Internet people who participated in the rebranding of Ron Artest when he arrived in L.A. a couple years ago. I wrote a sidebar to this Maxim article that branded Artest as the NBA's most lovable goofball, an article included bullshit quotes like this one from Phil Jackson:...

Metta World Peace's Elbow Waged War On James Harden's Head
Metta World Peace earned an ejection from today's Lakers-Thunder game when his celebration after a second-quarter dunk included an elbow to the side of James Harden's head. ...

The Wonderlic Test Proves The NFL Is Stupid
Here is an indisputable fact, one of the very few that exist surrounding the mysterious and dreaded Wonderlic Test: the Wonderlic is not meant for football. Over 75 years, only a few thousand of the more than a hundred million test takers have been NFL hopefuls. It is a test of problem solving and c...

Abandon Your Prejudices: LeBron James And The Heat Wear Hoodies For Trayvon Martin
LeBron James sent out the above photo on Twitter today, hashtagged "#WeAreTrayvonMartin #Hoodies #Stereotyped #WeWantJustice." (The Miami Herald described the image as "capturing the collective sorrow of so many," which rather misses the point.)...