the-balls Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You've Probably Played This Guy In Pickup Basketball, And Hated Him
We think this is really important work. We also think college ball and the NBA would be way better if this were a legal move. This is one of those videos that's hard to describe without ruining, so just watch at least halfway. ...
Chi Chi Rodriguez's New Trick Shot: Bouncing A Golf Ball Off His Nuts
Understandably, Chi Chi would need a do-over before swinging sword after this one. ...
You're Fucked, But You're Free: A Message To The Class Of 2013
It's May, which means it's time once again for actors and writers and politicians and whatever Thomas Friedman is to hit the graduation circuit and hold senior classes hostage for hours and hours in 85-degree heat. These grad speeches are little more than TED talks in funny hats. Trust me: One day...
A Special Graduation Message To The Class Of 2012
I had a long drive home the night that I found out my son was in grave danger of being born too early. Not long in the sense of distance, but long in an existential way, the way that a minute spent waiting in a dentist's office is far longer than a minute spent hooking up with someone for the first ...
MLB's New Security Chief, A Former SF Giant, Once Denied Monica Lewinsky Entry To The Oval Office
It's weird to think about MLB executives doing anything other than MLB-executive-ing. I can't think of Bud Selig cutting timber, for example. But a story in the Washington Post introduces us to Bill Bordley, the league's new chief of security, who pitched for the Giants before joining the Secret Ser...
A Special Graduation Message To The Class of 2011
Every year, thousands of young Americans graduate from college. And every year, those poor wretched hungover bastards are forced to sit out in some quad in million-degree heat to listen to a mildly famous person yammer on and on for hours about how these kids will change the world and all that bulls...
Deadspin Classic: Sean Salisbury, Mayor Of Miami
Originally published Jan. 31, 2007...
A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2010
It's graduation time across the country. I've done this post the past two years running, and I don't see new college grads getting any less annoying. So we'd best do it again....
Why Your Team Sucks: Philadelphia Eagles
Some people, like asshole Daulerio, are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
This is Balls Deep with Drew Magary. Read him at KSK. Buy his book. Follow him at Twitter. NSFW Inga after the jump....
A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2008
This is BALLS DEEP With Drew Magary (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100 percent all-new material, is available here....
Where Jackin' It Happens
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or wearing medallions, he can be heard— BANGING HIS GRANDMA IN THE BREAKFAST NOOK! Hi, I'm AJ Daulerio. The Balls. If you're wondering what's going on here, Skeets is off riding around w...
Tomorrow, The Grand Daulerio Finale
We wanted to remind everyone to get their hankies out for tomorrow: It's the final installment of AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker....
You Should See The Portion Of The Costume That Fell Off During Mile 3
If you like marathons, and AJ Daulerio, then feast on this! It's from the Chicago Marathon, via 100 Percent Injury Rate, who got it from some site called Avant/Chicago. The funny part is that when you go there, it's all normal, bland photos of people running, until you trip over this one....
Do Not Even THINK About An NFL Player Dogfighting
Our pal AJ Daulerio, reporting for Philadelphia magazine, heard a rumor about a potential dogfighting case involving members of the hometown Eagles. Like any diligent reporter, he made a few calls, including one to the Eagles' office, and he found nothing, and reporting nothing. But that wasn't the ...
Deadspin HOF Nominee: "Lemme Know"
Most people don't remember it now, but our own AJ Daulerio actually covered Super Bowl XL in Detroit. He didn't do a bad job — we'll never forget when he lost his rental car — but it was early in Deadspin's history, and AJ was still feeling his way around. By the time he arrived in Miami for last ye...
This might seem like a strange recommendation, but you really need to pick up a copy of Penthouse this month. Our own AJ Daulerio has an amazing story about a man who organizes and runs Las Vegas bachelor parties that will terrify and amaze you. You now have a reason to actually read it for the arti...
Come Join Us At The Philly Pants Party
After a bit of a delay, we have the details for the next Deadspin Pants Party, to be held in Philadelphia on Saturday, July 14. It's all official and stuff: You can buy your tickets right here. Game starts at 3:55. We will be there, as will the esteemed balls of A.J. Daulerio....
What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....