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The NFL combine isn’t intrusive enough
Welcome to Deadspin’s The Sports Nihilist, where all is for naught and we are but accidental jolts of electrified meat stuck to the surface of a rock in an indifferent universe. Fuck you....

Reimagining the NFL Combine
Just like your local jungle gym, the NFL Combine hasn’t been modernized in decades. They’re still using the same stale gym equipment and drills Al Bundy practiced with at Polk High School to measure the relative strength and athleticism of NFL prospects. It’s past due time for the NFL combine to und...

Did Ryan Leaf just offer the best explanation for Russell Wilson's precipitous decline?
One of the biggest mysteries from the 2022 NFL season was “What the hell happened to Russell Wilson?” This was a conundrum that not even the Scooby Doo gang could solve. Danger-Russ was supposed to help the Denver Broncos compete with the Kansas City Chiefs and Los Angeles Chargers in the AFC West, ...

Will Levis has every chance to be the star of this year’s NFL Combine
Quarterbacks are always under the biggest microscope in football, that’s a given. And there’s not a more unnecessary magnifying glass on signal callers than the NFL Combine. Going through all the scouting drills appears important for about five minutes. How many analysts quoted Tom Brady or Peyton M...

Howie Roseman’s got his hands full attempting to get the Eagles back to the Super Bowl
In this era of NFL parity, it’s rare to see the Super Bowl loser make it back the following year. Since 2000, it’s been rare to see Super Bowl losers make back-to-back appearances in the sport’s biggest game. Philadelphia Eagles general manager Howie Roseman is tasked with putting his team in a posi...

Please let the NFL and its owners be dumb enough not to settle with Brian Flores
Less than a month after Brian Flores’ class-action lawsuit against the league and multiple teams for their alleged racist hiring practices wasn’t mentioned at NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell’s annual press conference at the Super Bowl — where he was pressed again about the lack of diversity in the NF...

Yeah, I’d be worried if I were a Titans fan
With NFL combine workouts slated to start tomorrow with D-linemen and linebackers taking the field, many of this upcoming draft’s top prospects had the opportunity to speak with the media about the opportunity and what they expected moving forward. It wasn’t just prospects though. Many general manag...

Commanders minority owners are alleging that Dan Snyder used the franchise as a personal 'piggy bank'
The Dan Snyder era has had a dumpster-grade stench from the beginning. But just when it seemed like he’d leave peacefully, his destructive personality kicked back in. Snyder is finally leaning towards selling the team on his own, but not without kicking and screaming. ...

IDIOT OF THE MONTH: A journey through the swamp that was Super Bowl February
Welcome to Deadspin’s IDIOT OF THE MONTH, our world-renowned celebration of stupidity in and around the world of collegiate and professional sports. Now with 50 percent more slideshow to placate the bosses! The Industrial Revolution was a mistake!...
![Likely No. 1 NFL Draft pick Jalen Carter charged with reckless driving, racing in deadly crash [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/02f4ee8703ec0c41f97932a28084dea7.jpg)
Likely No. 1 NFL Draft pick Jalen Carter charged with reckless driving, racing in deadly crash [Updated]
Projected No. 1 overall NFL Draft selection Jalen Carter’s path to the league just got a lot bumpier. ...

Does Brandon Marshall know something we don't about Aaron Rodgers?
Packers’ QB Aaron Rodgers has reportedly emerged from his darkness retreat, during which time he reflected on his life, his career, and the possibility of making a film about his darkness retreat. Rodgers said he would let the world know about his decision to play or retire in 2023 after emerging fr...

NFL Films cataloged female fan, cheerleader footage with sexualized, offensive descriptions: lawsuit
It’s combine week in the NFL, and to celebrate the league’s views of human flesh, it’s in the news for objectifying women — again. Per a report by the Wall Street Journal, the league and NFL Films allegedly had an archive of fan and cheerleader footage categorized like PornHub kinks — “cheerleaders ...

If you’re in Indianapolis for the combine and see someone who looks like Derek Carr, that’s because it’s him
If there is a general manager currently in Indianapolis in need of a quarterback and someone to share a shrimp cocktail with at St. Elmo’s, Derek Carr is your guy. There will be more than 300 NFL prospects in town for the NFL Scouting Combine, and also one free agent veteran quarterback roaming arou...

The NBA is trying to jam the Elam Ending into a square hole
The Elam Ending has become NBA corporate jargon to throw out there as a salve for everything. All-Star Game lost its appeal? Elam Ending fixes that. Low ratings? ELAM ENDING! Superstars sitting out games? E-LAM END-ING!!! The latest rumored implementation of “Playing to a number” comes as a fix for ...

Here are the most likely suitors for the Chicago Bears' No. 1 overall pick
The NFL belongs to the Chicago Bears for the next two months, regardless of whatever revelation Aaron Rodgers has. They have pocket aces, the Big Joker, Draw Four, whatever your card game of choice is, the Bears have the best hand — the No. 1 overall pick in the NFL Draft. It appears likely that the...

Smell ya later, Carson Wentz
The Carson Wentz experiment in the nation’s capital went even worse than expected. The Commanders 2022 Week 1 starter isn’t even on the team’s roster six months later, as he was released by Washington on Monday. The move leaves likely 2023 starter Sam Howell and soon-to-be-free-agent Taylor Heinicke...

The Jeff Bezos-Dan Snyder pissing contest, explained
It appears that Daniel Snyder’s disdain for Jeff Bezos will prevent the billionaire Amazon founder from buying the Washington Commanders. Bezos was allegedly prevented from joining a private auction for the NFL franchise by Snyder due to a long-standing grudge. (Bezos and Snyder did not return calls...

Eric Bieniemy’s opening press conference in Washington is evidence he should be a head coach right now
Answering the question as to why former Kansas City Chiefs offensive coordinator Eric Bieniemy must have that title and not be a current head coach has been the story of in the NFL since Rihanna blessed us with her presence at Super Bowl LVII and Patrick Mahomes won his second championship — with Bi...

Lamar Jackson’s asking price isn’t the issue in Baltimore — Deshaun Watson’s contract in Cleveland is
In a time in which more people are realizing the importance of self-care and self-worth, one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL is in a situation with his employer that highlights the struggle that oftentimes comes with achieving self-sufficiency. The Baltimore Ravens don’t want to pay Lamar Jackso...

It's too soon to call San Francisco 49ers QB Trey Lance a bust
Before I get started, I want to make something clear. Trey Lance’s injury history is something that cannot be understated. He needs to stay healthy, and if he can’t, he shouldn’t be considered a franchise-caliber quarterback. This isn’t about his history of serious ouchies and boo-boos sidelining hi...