the Page 1009 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Ultimate Warrior Edition
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks there's something morbidly fascinating about a guy who looks like he walked out of a Boris Vellejo painting and is also clinically insane....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while vomiting profusely ... • 7:00 p.m. — NCAA Basketball: Tennessee at Georgia. The perfect matchup to settle their border dispute. [ESPN2] • 8:00 p.m. — NBA: Nuggets at Rockets. How many teams do you know of that have won 14 straight games and nobody thinks they'll do anything in th...

Yankees-Red Sox Feud Reaches Depths Of A Free Hat
If you haven't been paying attention to Hank "Raul Castro" Steinbrenner's words about the Red Sox in the last few days, congratulations! You're officially aware of the 28 other teams of the league....

Tyson-Holyfield III: For All The Butterscotch
The Shocker Before Matlock! The Scuffle During Shuffleboard! The Rumble For The Hoverround! Two Guys On The Beach Fighting Instead Of Wandering Around With Metal Detectors! None of these are catchy names, so a third fight between Evander Holyfield and Mike Tyson probably won't happen....

About Last Night...
What you missed while ordering a refill of penis reduction pills... • NBA: Where is your Pau now? Blazers defeat Lakers 119-111. • NHL: Former Cardinals outfielder Setoguchi scores winning goal as San Jose beats Detroit 3-2. • MLB: Juan Gonzalez homers off ... Johan Santana? I know it's only spring ...

Barry Bonds Is Not A Good Influence On Terrell Owens
Here's video from TMZ of Barry Bonds and Terrell Owens partying it up in Vegas. I'm not sure what the green liquid is — TMZ says it's absinthe — but it's clear that Owens is not a fan. This is exactly how I imagined a night out with Bonds would go. "Here, drink this! Don't worry about what's in it; ...

Derek Anderson Leaves Browns For Free Agency, Signs With Browns
I'm picturing the scene from Meet The Parents where a dejected Ben Stiller stands in an empty terminal and must wait his turn to board the airplane, thanks to the by-the-book airline employee who has yet to call his row. "Please step aside, sir."...

Happy Leap Day, Everyone!
So does today actually exist or not? After watching Lost last night, I'm more confused than ever ... and this article is no help. Anyway, on the off chance that today really does exist, I'll be posting a full day's worth of sports outtakes, bloopers and practical jokes. Will is still on vacation, so...

Have We Got The Job For You
I love this photo with every fiber of my being. Thank you, Meaningful Collateral, for making this day complete. However, there is also a rather amusing post that goes with it. For all of you job seekers out there: Your long search is over! Details follow:...

This Cardinals Post Will Self-Destruct In 30 Seconds. Good Luck, Jim
OK, let's just keep this little post between you and I, OK? I purposely waited until now to put it up, knowing that Will would be scuba diving. Shhh. First, old business (two days old, but whatever, it needs to be addressed). It seems that Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa still does not believe that M...

Bill Belichick Knows Where Lesbians Love
At long last, a prominent pro sports coach has come out of the closet in a nationally- ... wait, what? Sorry. Scratch that. While Bill Belichick is the cover boy for this month's issue of Boston Spirit, the city's premier gay magazine, the mag's publisher points out that his photo was just picked mo...

Welcome To Levitra Field, Home Of The Cubs
So, much grumbling today over the latest blasphemy in Chicago: Owner Sam Zell says he "wouldn't hesitate" to sell the naming rights to Wrigley Field. Of course our friend Mariotti is all in a sweaty panic over this, which kind of makes me think it might be a good idea. But then I'm not a Cubs fan. H...

The Super Bowl Commercial They Wouldn't Let You See
Can't decide if this is great or merely interesting, but my dog liked it a lot. Here's a Bud Light commercial that was supposed to have been shown during the Super Bowl, but was banned by the FCC. Found this over at BostonSportz. It's new to me, anyway....

Jon Stewart Still Won't Use His Hands
Long before he was hosting the Oscars or beating up Conan O'Brien, Jon Stewart was a Whirling Dervish on the soccer field for William & Mary....

GSTF Book Tour Stop: Brooklyn, New York
After more than a month on the road, and seemingly endless posts on this site that no one actually read all the way through, the first leg of the God Save The Fan tour came to an end in Brooklyn last night. It's nice to end a tour just a few blocks from your apartment; it makes crawling home far l...

One Last Reading, Just Down The Street
We've had a few people ask about the second leg of the book tour. It's basically going to take place this summer, and it will involve baseball games. So, look out, Milwaukee, Cleveland, Atlanta, Minneapolis, Houston, so on: Any time we can get to a game, it will have a reading bundled with it. But t...

GSTF Book Tour Stop: New York, New York
After the last month of madness, lunacy and a constantly clicking odometer, we were quite pleased to return to New York last night for the first of our two NYC readings to close this first tour leg out. Unfortunately, nobody took any pictures — or at least nobody sent us any — so instead we decided ...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

All Readings Should End With Tassels
All right, we're gonna head over to that reading thing now; to remind, it's right here. Because it's only 15 minutes or so from now, we're even gonna let ya know where the after-shindig is....

When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni
No, don't worry: A Pittsburgh Penguin did not get crushed on the ice. It's just what happens when a Zamboni's transmission fails, as reported by reader War Penguin, who was on the scene in Pittsburgh in its game against the San Jose Sharks. More action photos after the jump....