the Page 1009 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights


Live Blogging The Torre Press Conference
In a perfect, imaginary universe, Joe Torre would just go off today. His press conference, which is starting any minute now, will most likely feature Torre looking bemused and tired, giving "his side" of the story....

This Ain't Over
Don't be confused everyone, it's me, Unsilent Majority. I'm filling in tonight because Will was delayed in his travels or he just doesn't love you anymore...the text message wasn't entirely clear on that matter....

Jimmy Kimmel Doesn't See What All The Fuss Is About
After his appearance on "Monday Night Football" earlier this week, Jimmy Kimmel has been banned from the program. This is supposed to be a punishment?...

When Assimilation Goes Wrong: Negro NASCAR
You may remember The Assimilated Negro from his Negro Bowl I coverage for us last year. He returns to us to discuss NASCAR's odd decision to try to Negro-ize their sport....

Derek Jeter > Daniel LaRusso?
Yesterday's Derek Jeter post got me a little nostalgic for the greatest teenage karate movie ever made, and I wasn't really sure why. Until just now....

Repeating: Mark Cuban Has Fans
We're as stunned as you, folks, but somehow, even though he's clearly getting the worst ratings from the "judges," Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is corralling some sort of fanbase to keep him on the show....

David Boston Will Attack You With Comfortable Pillows
Poor David Boston. A Pro Bowl receiver with the Cardinals in 2001, he's dogged by injuries and bounces around to three other teams, tests positive for steroids, then is nabbed for DUI. And now the worst of all misdeeds: Domestic cushion assault....

She's Like The Biff From The Future!
We know this story's from a couple of weeks ago, but we're still rather entranced about it: The mother of a recent Kentucky Wildcats basketball recruit is a real, live prophet....


This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole on...

MNF Still Haunts Joe Theismann's Corpse
Kimmel's quote: "And we welcome Joe Theismann watching from his living room with steam coming out of his ears." You know, we wouldn't mind seeing that, actually....

Searching For Comedy In The Muslim World
Hmmm. I thought Bush said that the U.S. doesn't torture?...

On The Jets, Kermit The Frog And Vinny
The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy....

The BCS Apocalypse Is Coming
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you carve an extreme pumpkin ... • MLB: National League Championship Series, Game 3, Arizona at Colorado. Tisk, tisk, tisk ... looks like rain. [TBS] • NFL: Sunday Night Football, New Orleans at Seattle. Can we pretend that the Saints' Super Bowl aspirations are still alive? [NBC...
