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Man U Rubs It In
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Some Guy Other Than Tiger Wins Masters
There's something inherently charming about the ceremony that follows a Masters Championship. For winning the most prestigious golf tournament, you don't get a trophy, or a plaque, or an oversized check. You win a jacket. Here, friend, congratulations; have a jacket. Stay warm, friend....

Let's Get Ready to Clap Politely!
Welcome fwends, to our coverage of Sunday at the Masters. The leaders are underway, and already Immelman (-10) and Snedeker (-8) have given a stroke back to the field (which is struggling a bit itself). Continue after the jump a breakdown of the leaders and contenders, as well as an updated leaderb...

Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man
The Visitor's Locker Room compares Green to a legendary infomercial pitchman, but I've always enjoyed this guy... ...

About Last Night
What you missed while ghost riding the pony... • NBA: Denver needed a win to stay a game up on the Warriors, but instead they had their asses handed to them by the Jazz. • Boxing: Alfonso Gomez is probably penning a thank you note to last night's ringside doctor. • MLB: Johan Santana can give up hom...

Bryant Mercifully Leaves the Booth
Bryant Gumbel does excellent work for HBO Sports, but as a play-by-play announcer for the NFL Network he was terrible. Fortunately both parties came to terms with that fact, and we will no longer be subjected to any of his two-minute "mournings" or legendarily indecisive first down calls. Awful Anno...

Woodrow's Woes and Rory's Belt
Rory Sabatini will have plenty of time to do some more shopping at Hot Topic this weekend, as he became one of the top players to miss the cut at the Masters. Those who did survive the first two days at Augusta National are now underway despite a bit of atmospheric wetness. KJ Choi is already +3 fo...

Michigan Students Will Bone You/Be Boned For OSU Tickets
According to a recent "study" conducted by the University of Michigan, there is a small fraction of the student body who will use sex in lieu of currency for various goods and services. According to Daniel Kruger, research scientist at the University of Michigan's School of Public Health, he's troub...

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.
Here's a pretty amusing video unearthed by the kids at Fan IQ, which features Max Kellerman, ex of just about every sports channel in every capacity, in his pre-WWL days doing his best 3rd Bass impersonation with his late brother Sam. (Sam, sadly, was viciously murdered back in '04. Gorgeous story ...

So, How'd OJ Mayo Work Out For You, Coach Floyd?
Surprising no one, OJ Mayo announced yesterday that he's leaving USC to enter the NBA Draft. Hard to blame the guy; most mock drafts have him going in the top five. (Love that video preview for the Mock Draft, ESPN!)...

Now, Sing Along With The Masters
Well, potato chip-inhaling ruminator, there are. And thanks to the crew at The Meaningful Collateral, you can listen to the Masters theme as it was originally intended: with treacly words....

The Masters Turns ESPN's Volume Down A Few Notches
From what we saw of it, we kind of enjoyed ESPN's Masters coverage yesterday. With all the screaming and beeping and what-not on the network anymore, it was almost pleasant to have the sleepiness inherent in Masters coverage wash over The Leader. A channel in which everyone seems afraid to raise the...

About Last Night
What you missed while playing the world's biggest game of Where's Waldo ... • MLB: Boss, I demand a Reyes ... Mets beat Phillies in 12th thanks in great part to the baserunning stylings of Jose Reyes. • College basketball: Note to Self ... be sure to turn down offers and stay at Kansas. • NHL: Preda...

This Man Fathered A Swedecaublasian
ESPN's Masters Coverage has mostly enjoyable today, with Scott Van Pelt seemingly right at home covering all the yawwwwn thrilling action and excitement down at Augusta. It's safe to say that if Tiger's not in contention during the final round, the whole wall-to-wall coverage is a colossal failure....

The Masters Are Not Back Back Back
The Masters does begin tomorrow morning, at 8 a.m. (So set your alarms!) And, as mentioned last month, it will be telecast on ESPN, minus Chris Berman. We do not envy the exec who had to deliver that news to Boomer....

Your Deadspin Masters Preview
We don't know much about golf, but we do know that The Masters Are Important. Therefore, with the Big Golf Tournament That Doesn't Like Ladies teeing off tomorrow, we asked resident golf impresario Shane Bacon, of Dogs That Chase Cars, to preview it for us. So here goes....

The Real Reason Arsenal Crapped Out
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Carl Eller Doesn't Know How Fast He Was Driving
Last week, Daulerio gave you a few tips on how to make it through a potential DUI stop. Former Minnesota Vikings Hall of Famer Carl Eller has a new one, one we hadn't considered: Simply punching the police officer in the face....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch when your good friend Iona Knipl comes over ... • Women's college basketball: NCAA Division I tournament championship game, Tennessee vs. Stanford in Tampa (8:30 p.m., ET). I would not like to be in the middle if Tara and Pat get into a brawl. [ESPN] • MLB: Cardinals at Astros (8:05 p....