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Meet The Brand New Face Of English Soccer
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Roger Clemens Gets An Ass Shot
So you don't have to sift through the whole document, we're gonna call out some key pages....

MLBPA Tells Players Not To Cooperate
So you don't have to sift through the whole document, we're gonna call out some key pages....

Paul LoDuca Gets A Returned Check
So you don't have to sift through the whole document, we're gonna call out some key pages....

The Complete List Of Players Mentioned In The Mitchell Report
Below, a complete list of players mentioned in the Mitchell Report....

SHOTY Elite Eight: Kige Ramsey Vs. Brady Quinn
UPDATE: Poll is now fixed. Sorry about that. Only in this deranged universe of ours could these two human beings compete against each other in anything. One thing they do have in common: Neither has ever thrown an NFL pass....

Is This The List Of Players Mentioned?
OK, let's do a little test of the Internets today: In the last hour, we have been forwarded a list of players mentioned in the Mitchell Report by about 25 different people. Is this list substantiated? No. Is it from an MLB official? No. Do we have any reason to believe it's anything but random bunk?...

About Last Night
Twas The Night Before The Mitchell Report, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring (LaRussa was soused) ... • Man, I really hope there's a George Mitchell action figure with "Special Envoy to Northern Ireland kung fu grip" under the Mitchel Report Tree tomorrow. — Hank Scorpio...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your parrot comes back as a potato chip ... • NBA: Seattle at Chicago. Go Cubs! Oh, sorry; my mistake. Carry on. [WGN] • NHL: Pittsburgh at Philadelphia. Why no team named the Ice Bears? [Versus] • Soccer: UEFA Champions League; Real Madrid CF vs. SS Lazio, at Madrid. Taped. Isn't t...

Fun Time In Dolphins Land
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw. Therefore, Football Guys, the official chatroom of the NFL. It will run here on Deadspin weekly, every Tu...

This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole on...

SHOTY Elite Eight: Elijah Dukes Vs. Gilbert Arenas
At last, we have completed the endless first round of the 2007 Sportshuman Of The Year tournament. It only took a month. Now we're down the nitty-gritty: The Elite Eight....

Is Tennis Mobbed Up?
We should have seen it coming: It seems that the Russian Mafia may have infiltrated pro tennis (this surprises me: I would have guessed chess). But don't worry, sports fans; we have our best man on the case. John McEnroe. The former American great points to questions surrounding tennis stars such as...

Last Call For Deadspin Word Of The Year Nominations
Last week we asked for nominations for Deadspin Word of the Year, and you answered the call handsomely. From your herd of suggestions we've culled 55 entries — yes, yes, girls, "Mangino" is in there — and we'd probably like to get it to 70 or so before actual voting commences. So if you were unable ...

Who's Sorry Now? Goofed Up National Anthem Edition
If you've never had your penis regaled in song, well, you don't know just how inspiring that can be. British singer Tony Henry was belting out the Croatian National Anthem before the recent European Championship 2008 soccer match with England, but botched the lyrics, with hilarious results....

There Is Only One Philip Rivers
The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy....

Want A Playoff? Banish The Rose Bowl
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....

A Full Weekend Of Losing
David Hirshey writes regular for Deadspin about soccer....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wondering if you'll ever stop squinting... • NFL: Indianapolis at Baltimore. Take a shot every time they say "Mayflower" to make the game tolerable. [NBC] • Movie: Rocky IV. Brett Myers wouldn't take that shit from Adrian.ESPN Classic] • Movie: Meet John Doe. Alright, but if he's...

Scary Morning In Indianapolis
Early this morning a series of gunshots were fired into the car of Indiana Pacers guard Jamaal Tinsley wounding Joey Qatato, the team's equipment manager. The Indy Star has the full story....