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Shockingly, The ESPN Movie Isn't Getting Great Reviews
We will confess, we have been, in spite of ourselves, kind of looking forward to the premiere of The Bronx Is Burning tonight. We know, ESPN's movies have been rather awful, and we are dealing with the guy who directed Benny And Joon....

Your Definitive RPS Report
We didn't have the opportunity to watch the big replay of the Rock Paper Scissors tournament over the weekend — what a grand three days of sports we have on tap this week! — but we were hoping that it was like competitive eating, in that there was a modicum of training and skill involved. According ...


Time Once Again To Run Alongside Confused Beef
If you don't count the stuff that goes on in Michael Vick's backyard, then the annual Running of the Bulls in Spain is probably my least favorite sporting event. My favorite sporting event? Well, I think that's been well documented. High five! But I have to admit that every year at this time, I root...

Richard Gasquet Is Your Not-Gay Semifinalist
Roger Federer, staving off a surprising surge from longtime rival Rafael Nadal, won his fifth consecutive Wimbledon yesterday. (His first Wimbledon win was over that idiot on that dumb NBC reality show, by the way.) But the real winner wasn't Federer, but semifinalist Richard Gasquet, who finally ba...

Do NOT ... Go In There. WOOO!
It's perfectly acceptable to vent frustration after a lousy inning of relief pitching. (Fernando Rodney does it all the time.) But here's a lesson to all those up-and-coming pitchers: if you plan to exact physical damage in the dugout bathroom after such an outing, make sure you have an escape route...

Five Straight Wimbledons For A Swiss Athlete
When I first heard of Roger Federer, he already had two Grand Slam titles, and I was sort of hoping that with every additional championship he won, he would legally add another "-er" suffix to his last name. At this point in history he would have added 11 consecutive "ers", as he defeated Rafael Nad...

Who dares challenge Pennsylvania's status as the country's marble-playing powerhouse? Certainly not you, I hope. The Keystone State is home to 66 national marble champions. Here's something else I learned today: One who plays the game of marbles is known as a "mibster." Please discard your Word-of-t...

Felix Hernandez Informed By Internet That He Has Other Pitches Besides Fastball
All right, I initially highlighted the mischievousness of sports blogs to preface you all with some of the goodness sportsbloggery can achieve in life. The blog U.S.S. Mariner wrote an open letter to Seattle Mariners pitching coach Rafael Chavez, wherein he mentions how Felix Hernandez throws way to...


A Bug's Life, If That Bug Is Named John Holmes
The world has long pined for the answer to life's perpetual mystery: Is a Rangers-Orioles game more boring than watching flies screw? Well, an astute reader and his friend attended such a baseball game last night, and saw two horseflies gettin' down and procreating. Judging by these two fans' fixat...

You've All Been Working For The Weekend
After The Mighty MJD's heartfelt goodbye last weekend — after more than a year of serving as our weekend editor — the speculation has been immense. (Really!) Who's gonna take over for MJD? Well, considering it's Friday, we should probably tell you....

What Will Be Cut From This Year's ESPY Awards?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

The Orem Owlz Medium Is The Message
For years, we have watched the totalitarian media/mind control tactics of the rookie-level Pioneer League team the Orem Owlz with a wary eye. They have sat there, in their megalomaniacal castle in Utah, acting as if they are the rulers of all the survey, wielding their power indiscriminately and wit...

Bad Day For Neshek
It was a bad day all around for Pat, who suffered his first loss last night. Fortunately, his beautiful designed Web site — not that we should talk — will keep updating, and even putting up these in-no-way-uncomfortable-to-watch videos. Next year, Pat. Next year....


The Only Time We're Going To Mention The ESPYs, Promise
Honestly, if you don't have ESPY fever, we don't know what's wrong with you. People have often commended ESPN for running the ESPYs during the All-Star Break, and we agree, though for likely different reasons: We, like you, find ourselves so into sports sometimes that it's helpful to have an event t...

It's Tough To Type While Wearing A Mitt
We don't have an iPhone, because we're quite happy with our iPod and our cellphone being happy and separate, thank you very much. (Also: A little pricey.) Most people we know who have one tend to enjoy them, but they've had a bit of an issue with the lack of a keyboard....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while dropping your pants and firing a rocket ... • MLB: Twins 6, Yankees 2. Happy birthday, George. • Tennis: Nadal beats Soderling at Wimbledon, and it only took 90 hours. • Golf: The Booz Allen Classic update you've been clamoring for....

Spencer Hawes Doesn't Think It's Getting Hot In Here
New Sacramento Kings center Spencer Hawes has heard your complaints about athletes not being political, about LeBron James refusing to speak out for those suffering in Darfur. He wants you to know that he will not kowtow to corporate interests. He speak truth to power. Particular in his college deba...