the Page 1043 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tanner Boyle Says Fox Can Take Their Trophy And Stick It Up Their BLEEP
So you want to join in the discussion on the Fox message boards, but you're not sure if you'll be able to call someone a "dipshit" if it's warranted? Sure, it's a dilemma we all face. But now the mighty Fox Network gives you two choices with their blogs, story comments and message boards: Spicy, and...
Gene Upshaw Is Smarter Than You Think
Say what you will about NFL players union chief Gene Upshaw — that he's an out-of-control, useless stooge who collapses under even the slightest bit of pressure from the NFL, which just waits for him to say something idiotic again — but you can't say he doesn't know how to take care of himself....
Chandler: This Year You Are Mine, Dan Patrick
If you are reading this, Dan Patrick, let's clear the air on this interview nonsense right away. To put it bluntly, last year you snubbed me. You were the only player at the Lake Tahoe American Century Golf Championship to do so — I even talked with Mike Schmidt. Mike freakin' Schimdt....
Shockingly, The ESPN Movie Isn't Getting Great Reviews
We will confess, we have been, in spite of ourselves, kind of looking forward to the premiere of The Bronx Is Burning tonight. We know, ESPN's movies have been rather awful, and we are dealing with the guy who directed Benny And Joon....
Your Definitive RPS Report
We didn't have the opportunity to watch the big replay of the Rock Paper Scissors tournament over the weekend — what a grand three days of sports we have on tap this week! — but we were hoping that it was like competitive eating, in that there was a modicum of training and skill involved. According ...
Time Once Again To Run Alongside Confused Beef
If you don't count the stuff that goes on in Michael Vick's backyard, then the annual Running of the Bulls in Spain is probably my least favorite sporting event. My favorite sporting event? Well, I think that's been well documented. High five! But I have to admit that every year at this time, I root...
Richard Gasquet Is Your Not-Gay Semifinalist
Roger Federer, staving off a surprising surge from longtime rival Rafael Nadal, won his fifth consecutive Wimbledon yesterday. (His first Wimbledon win was over that idiot on that dumb NBC reality show, by the way.) But the real winner wasn't Federer, but semifinalist Richard Gasquet, who finally ba...
Do NOT ... Go In There. WOOO!
It's perfectly acceptable to vent frustration after a lousy inning of relief pitching. (Fernando Rodney does it all the time.) But here's a lesson to all those up-and-coming pitchers: if you plan to exact physical damage in the dugout bathroom after such an outing, make sure you have an escape route...
Five Straight Wimbledons For A Swiss Athlete
When I first heard of Roger Federer, he already had two Grand Slam titles, and I was sort of hoping that with every additional championship he won, he would legally add another "-er" suffix to his last name. At this point in history he would have added 11 consecutive "ers", as he defeated Rafael Nad...
Who dares challenge Pennsylvania's status as the country's marble-playing powerhouse? Certainly not you, I hope. The Keystone State is home to 66 national marble champions. Here's something else I learned today: One who plays the game of marbles is known as a "mibster." Please discard your Word-of-t...
Felix Hernandez Informed By Internet That He Has Other Pitches Besides Fastball
All right, I initially highlighted the mischievousness of sports blogs to preface you all with some of the goodness sportsbloggery can achieve in life. The blog U.S.S. Mariner wrote an open letter to Seattle Mariners pitching coach Rafael Chavez, wherein he mentions how Felix Hernandez throws way to...
A Bug's Life, If That Bug Is Named John Holmes
The world has long pined for the answer to life's perpetual mystery: Is a Rangers-Orioles game more boring than watching flies screw? Well, an astute reader and his friend attended such a baseball game last night, and saw two horseflies gettin' down and procreating. Judging by these two fans' fixat...
You've All Been Working For The Weekend
After The Mighty MJD's heartfelt goodbye last weekend — after more than a year of serving as our weekend editor — the speculation has been immense. (Really!) Who's gonna take over for MJD? Well, considering it's Friday, we should probably tell you....
What Will Be Cut From This Year's ESPY Awards?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
The Orem Owlz Medium Is The Message
For years, we have watched the totalitarian media/mind control tactics of the rookie-level Pioneer League team the Orem Owlz with a wary eye. They have sat there, in their megalomaniacal castle in Utah, acting as if they are the rulers of all the survey, wielding their power indiscriminately and wit...
Bad Day For Neshek
It was a bad day all around for Pat, who suffered his first loss last night. Fortunately, his beautiful designed Web site — not that we should talk — will keep updating, and even putting up these in-no-way-uncomfortable-to-watch videos. Next year, Pat. Next year....