the Page 1044 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Back To You In The Booth, Lamar
So it may not come as a surprise to anyone that more suspensions have come down following the steel cage match between the University of Miami and Florida International football teams on Saturday. A total of 31 players have been dinged — and must sit out their respective games this weekend — 18 from...

Hirshey: Don't Blame It On The Meds
Let's not beat around the bush: ARSENAL WILL WIN THE PREMIERSHIP. That is not a statement I imagined I would be making as recently as a month ago, and one that has absolutely nothing to do with the fistful of painkillers I'm required to take every day since tearing the miniscus in my left knee att...

Today In The Premiership...
• Aston Villa 1-1 Tottenham. The day could've been so much worse for Juan Pablo Angel. Instead of missing the net on a penalty kick, three minutes later heading one into his goal, losing the game, and ending up in the trunk of a hooligan's car with his head wrapped in duct tape and his shoes on fi...

I Was In 'The Cat In The Hat,' Dammit!
In a tragic time such this, it's easy to forget who the real victims are. Specifically, actor Alec Baldwin, shown here on Wednesday near the Manhattan accident scene where Cory Lidle's small plane crashed into a high-rise building. Baldwin is giving a New York City police officer the Glengarry Gle...

The Brave Soldiers Of The Smoking Gun
This here is Joe Morgan. No, obviously, not that Joe Morgan; this is Joe Morgan, an 18-year-old kid who was arrested with aggravated sexual abuse in Peoria, Illinois. He's part of The Smoking Gun's all-star lineup of mugshots of people with famous baseball players' names. Our favorite is Bobby Bon...

Stop The World, We Want To Get Off
If there were any real cosmic justice out there, stories such as this would not be allowed to happen; a wise, all-knowing God, concerned only with the greater good, would hurl a giant meteor right directly into our equator first. But ours is a stark, lonely universe, devoid of reason, and we are p...

Us Against The Music
Little housecleaning matter here: Tomorrow night, right before the Tigers begin securing their 2-0 ALDS lead on the Yankees — sorry — we will be reading things aloud. Using our voice, and perhaps some spackle....

Hirshey: We Like Our Ukrainians FLAMING!
David Hirshey, now able to eat during daylight hours again, writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

Kids And Darts! What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
And so finally, we have the concept for the next Johnny Knoxville movie. The British Darts Organisation is campaigning for their sport to be included in the 2012 London Olympics; and to that end, they've opened the Darts School of Excellence in London. It's for for kids ages 7 to 18, as England atte...

"You Jackin' It?"
Well, here it is: Carl Monday being bum-rushed on "The Daily Show." The segment is as entertaining as we could have hoped — we love Jason Jones' Monday-esque intro — and, we hope, succeeds in finally crossing Carl over to an America that will never, ever be ready for him....

And It's Like Nothing Ever Happened ... Presto!
So, now that the 9-1-1 call from publicist extraordinare Kim Etheredge has been made public and now that the police have ruled the incident an "accidental overdose," well, everything's back to normal now, right?...

Still Wading In The T.O. Morass
You know, it's strange how, after the frenzy of Terrell Owens-related madness yesterday, it all seems to have died down today. It never fails to bewilder us that once an athlete denies something, mainstream reporters just kind of say, "OK, well, must not be true, then!" and move on. There seems to b...

The Human Being Vs. The Publicist
A legitimate question as we tie a big ribbon on this whole Terrell Owens suicide business for the day, which, we have to say, ESPN has done a rather outstanding — if predictably overdone — job of covering today:...

"When She Said She Was Gonna, Like, Wreck My Car ... I Didn't Know What To Do"
From Australia comes the heartening news that, even if the worst happens, Barbaro's racing career is not necessarily over if he happens to croak. The AP reports: ...

Hirshey Quickie: Soccer Cheerleaders In The MLS
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

Hirshey: Tottenham Just Can't Score
David Hirshey writes regularly about the Premiership for Deadspin....

An Update On America's Dorkiest Sports Feud
So remember, the Sklar Brothers-Bill Simmons feud? Simmons apparently has disliked the "Cheap Seats" hosts' comedy sensibilities for years, and, probably because it's not exactly ESPN's most popular program, Simmons has been allowed to openly mock it in his columns. The Sklar brothers have always se...

If They Take Away Reggie Bush's Heisman, Did It Really Happen?
Like a lot of people, we're sure, when we initially saw Yahoo! Sports' report — you know, typing the "!" after "Yahoo" must feel a little silly when you're trying to report a serious story — about Reggie Bush allegedly receiving improper gifts from agents when he was at USC, we thought, "Jeez, they'...

The Closer: Tigers Caught In Vicious Cycle
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Failure To Launch
In these troubled times in which we live, we believe that it's good to feed the soul occasionally with some inspiring words from a true American. Such a man is Texas Longhorns fan and sometimes actor Matthew McConaughey. Let us never forget his fiery speech from last week, leading up to the Texas-Oh...