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What If Joe Paterno Was Innocent? Hypothetical Dialogues From A Dark Time At Penn State
Circumstantially, the Jerry Sandusky case keeps getting worse and worse for Joe Paterno. Circumstantially. This past weekend, CNN described an email that Penn State's now-former athletic director, Tim Curley, allegedly sent to other university officials in 2001, canceling plans to report Sandusky to...

The Second Time They Met, Jeffrey Maier Didn't Dare Mess With Tony Tarasco
When I met Jeffrey Maier, he was Coach Maier and I had no idea who he was. Of course I remembered the boy who stole an out from two feet above Tony Tarasco's glove and turned it into an eight inning, game-tying home run in the '96 ALDS. The Yankees would win the game, and the series, and the champio...

Ryan Lochte's "I ♥ BREAST" Shirt Wasn't Enough To Put Him Past Michael Phelps
Despite mopping the floor with Michael Phelps in the past few years of competition, Ryan Lochte found himself behind Phelps both times the swimming stars faced each other this weekend, in the 200 individual medley and the 200 freestyle. It didn't much matter—Phelps ended up qualifying in five event...

The Euro 2012 Final Would Not Be Complete Without A Couple Idiots On The Field
Spain rocked Italy today (or tonight, depending on where you happen to be watching) 4-0 in the 2012 European Championship Final. For a match without a lot of drama, things got exciting immediately following its conclusion....

Jonathan Vilma Alleges Former Assistant Coach Fabricated Evidence In Bounty Probe In Newly Filed Lawsuit Against NFL
On Saturday night, Jonathan Vilma filed his second lawsuit against the NFL in U.S. District Court in New Orleans. In his latest filing the Saints Linebacker has asked for a quick ruling on his supension appeal and, alternatively, for a temporary restraining order that would permit Vilma to continue...

Rufus The Pigeon-Scaring Hawk At Wimbledon Has Gone Missing, Foul Play Suspected
Disturbing news out of Wimbledon today: a hawk named Rufus, who has been used to scare away pigeons and other small, distracting birds from the courts at the All England Club, was stolen early Friday morning. He was in his cage, in a car parked on a private driveway in Wimbledon. The car's rear win...

"I Am A Little Worried To Be...On The Electronics": Thunder Storm Terrorizes Professional Baseball Grounds Crew
Courtesy of Aaron Morse, the voice you hear broadcasting, comes video of this wild thunder storm rain delay. The game between the Joliet Slammers and Southern Illinois Miners on Friday night was delayed for rain and what appears to be heavy winds. The grounds crew put down the tarp and even, accor...

Discussion Discussion: A Word About Trolls And Stupid People, From The Deadspin Kinja Faeries
"Ultimately, who gives a shit?"...

Didn't We Just Do This? <em>The Amazing Spider-Man</em>, Reviewed.
1. The Amazing Spider-Man is less a reboot than a recital. It's professionally made and competent and sincere and well-acted, but it never quite overcomes the nagging sense that there's no reason for it to exist. Well, actually, there is a reason: Sony, to keep the rights to the character, needed to...

Balotelli Wasn't The Only Super Mario In Attendance At Yesterday's Euro 2012 Match
It is not a stretch to suggest these gentlemen are actual plumbers, or if they have been in possession of mushrooms at one time or another. We're eagerly anticipating their appearance at Sunday's final; the Italians will need a fire flower or two to get past a tough Spanish defense. (Or one of thos...

The Five Worst Indie-Film Cliches In Sundance Darling <em>Beasts Of The Southern Wild</em>
The one film that just about everybody loved at Sundance this year was Beasts of the Southern Wild, the debut from director Benh Zeitlin. It won the U.S. Dramatic Prize, received rapturous reviews, and consequently came rumbling down the Utah mountainside as The One Art-House Movie You Need To See T...

The Happiest Man In The World: Teófilo Stevenson And Cuba's Lost Fighters
Teófilo Stevenson won his first Olympic gold medal in 1972 and his last world amateur championship in 1986. He won 302 fights and once went an unbelievable 11 years without a loss. Had Cuba not boycotted the 1984 Summer Olympics, many think Stevenson would have won an unmatched four gold medals in...

Matthew Stafford As The 14th-Best QB: Is Ron Jaworski Crazy, Or Are The Rest Of Us Overrating Stafford? Discuss!
Ron Jaworski's been counting down his list of the best NFL quarterbacks, and Matthew Stafford, despite clocking in the top five in most statistical categories, landed at No. 14. Is Jaws right, and Stafford's sample size too small? Or could you stick a lump of Shaun Hill-shaped beef behind center, an...

Fortunately, ESPN Doesn't Speak Spanish
Here's a sign sported by some enthusiastic Spaniards before yesterday's Euro 2012 semifinal between Spain and Portugal and aired on ESPN before the match. It reads, basically, "Cristiano go fuck yourself, Froilán the Golden Boot."...

Steven Soderbergh Whips It Out. <i>Magic Mike</i>, Reviewed.
As Steven Soderbergh gets closer to the retirement he swears will be happening next year, it's tempting for us who love his movies to wish he'd go out with one last major opus, some sort of legacy-defining masterpiece. So maybe that's why it's good that he clearly doesn't seem interested in doing an...

Raven Wanted To Rent <i>Buffy The Vampire Slayer</i>, And We Didn't Have It In Stock: More Wrestler Run-Ins
Inspired by the saga of "Wrestling Superstar Virgil," pro wrestling's saddest man, we continue with readers' encounters with the titans of the squared circle. If you've had your own run-in with wrestlers past or present, e-mail us, subject line "Virgilbag."...

Rob Ryan: Colorful Individual
Our favorite stadium reporter Jim Knox was at his best last night during the Tigers-Rangers matchup, locating Cowboys defensive coordinator Rob Ryan enjoying the ballgame. Ryan's choice of multicolored polo sans undershirt is the kind of bold wardrobe choice we've come to expect from the guy who dr...

What It's Like To Interview Abdullah The Butcher, Wrestling's "Monster Movie Come To Life"
Graeme Wood over at The Atlantic wrote about a recent in-person interview he did with Abdullah the Butcher, whose wrestling matches have long been famous orgies of blood. Wood's story is worth a read because he lets the details tell the tale:...

A Plush Bear Stuffed With Crap. <em>Ted</em>, Reviewed.
1. Of the myriad problems with Ted, Seth MacFarlane's flaming, masturbating fart of a comedy, the biggest one is that the teddy bear at its center is neither cute nor funny. The movie thinks he's both. For the movie's promising central joke to work—that a boy's teddy bear comes to life and then grow...

There Was An Entire Team Of Idiots On The Field At The College World Series Last Night
Arizona ended South Carolina's streak of College World Series championships with a 4-1 win last night in a game interrupted yet again by Idiots On The Field. It's the third time this CWS that there's been such a field invasion, and a team effort: an alleged seven fans ran out of the seats at once....