the Page 837 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mike Birbiglia's <em>Sleepwalk With Me</em> And The Art (And Agony) Of Stand-Up Comedy
I'm in awe of stand-up comics....

Area Couple Offended By "Loud, Sexualized, Pagan" Olympics
There is nothing in the world like the letters to the editor section of a small newspaper. Remember the Ohio man who wanted the "bisexual" buckeye removed as the state tree? By definition, the people who write these things have too much time on their hands and a capacity for outrage that only kicks ...

KCAL Forgot Which Teams Were Playing At The End Of Last Night's Giants-Dodgers Game
KCAL broadcasts Dodgers games exclusively. They aren't part of some Fox Sports conglomerate that might have a crew handling Rangers and Astros or Rays/Marlins game in the same day or anything like that. They have a unique graphics package and, of course, Vin Scully....

Ask An Anonymous PR Guy About The Shady Work Of Being A Pro Athlete's Publicist
Gang, meet Anonymous PR Guy. Anonymous PR Guy, say hello to the gang. Anonymous PR Guy is an actual publicist for a handful of pro athletes, and in exchange for his anonymity, he's agreed to share a few stories with us about what his job is really like. We've always wondered, and now we know: He's a...

The Genius Of <em>Enemy Of The State</em>, Tony Scott's Best Film
In the reaction to the sudden death of Tony Scott, a quick consensus emerged: Scott was a more interesting director than he'd been given credit for throughout his career; Top Gun and his general style helped usher in the age of Michael Bay and Olivier Megaton-ism; and the one movie everyone could ag...
![Little Leaguer: ESPN Changed My Player Bio To List My Favorite Show As <em>SportsCenter</em> Instead Of <em>The Dan Patrick Show</em> [UPDATE: It Was A Gag]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Little Leaguer: ESPN Changed My Player Bio To List My Favorite Show As <em>SportsCenter</em> Instead Of <em>The Dan Patrick Show</em> [UPDATE: It Was A Gag]
Will Lucas from Fairfield, Conn., threw a no-hitter in the Little League World Series yesterday and was invited on the The Dan Patrick Show today to talk about it....

The Hatfield Pig Is Here To Share His Cannibalistic Goodness With Phillies Fans
During your average Phillies broadcast, the freakiest thing you're likely to see is some antic of the Phanatic. Maybe, if you're lucky, a fight will break out in the Citizens Bank Park cheap seats....

Kentucky Monitors Athletes' Social Media Accounts For Sports Agents' Names
Just in case you thought the whole creepy social media monitoring thing was starting to die down, it's not. Back in May, we got a glimpse into LSU's use of a social media monitoring company called UDiligence, where athletes were already being monitored for the use of hundreds of hilarious trigger w...

The Marlins Are So Bad, Showtime Canceled <em>The Franchise</em> Early
The profanity-filled televised examination of a miserable baseball season that was The Franchise: Miami Marlins will come to a premature end Wednesday as Showtime airs its final episode of the series, one producers hoped might show the ins and outs of a pennant contender but ended up being organiza...

There Are Closed Captioning Typos, And Then There's Calling Carlos Peña "Hitler"
Closed captioning transcriptionists have hard jobs, especially in sports. Fast action, foreign names, and occasionally-drunk announcers all throw stumbling blocks in the way of providing meaning for the hearing-impaired....

Is This The Most Terrifying Weather Alert In The History Of Television?
It's midnight. You're snug in your Nashville bed, or maybe on the sofa with your lips wrapped around a crack pipe, I don't know, but whatever excuse you have for watching Jimmy Fallon, that's it....

Your <em>Expendables 2</em> Power Rankings
The Expendables 2 has 11 names on its poster only because there is not room, either in poster space or running time, for 47. It is New Years Eve with testicles. It is the turducken of action movies. Rather than review the film, I thought I'd just rank those 11 names, in ascending order of Expendable...

Discussion Discussion: Surrounded By Assholes
If you've read our previous Discussion Discussions, or the Comment Of The Fortnight-Ish columns before those, by now you're likely familiar with how they work: we artfully (we hope) and circuitously (uh, yeah) lay out an argument for how best to conduct oneself down there, and hopefully by the end y...

TV Report On Texas High School Football Team Wins State Title For Repeating The Same Cliché
As Texas's defending Class 1A, Division I champions, the Mason Punchers are the pride of their central Texas town, population 2,000. But I dunno. I just can't think of the right way to sum up the theme of the Punchers' upcoming season. Maybe someone—the head coach, a couple of players, a reporter—...

Here Are A Bunch Of MLB Players Doing Funny Impressions Of <em>The Expendables</em> Cast
Allow me to self-plagiarize for a moment. A few members of the Deadspin staff, myself included, once went to the MLB Fan Cave. It was in many ways a soul-crushing place, where the Pepsi Max (but no other variety of Pepsi) was bottomless, and where Jeff Nelson was just hanging out, likely against his...

<em>Compliance</em>: A Grierson & Leitch Conversation About Pranks, Coercion, And Blowjobs
Compliance, which opens Friday, was one of the most debated movies at the 2012 Sundance Film Festival. Starring Dreama Walker (now better known for Don't Trust the B—— in Apartment 23) and written and directed by Craig Zobel, it's a psychological thriller about an Ohio fast-food joint that becomes t...

Finally, Batman Meets USC With "Bane Kiffin"
You guys! I finally saw The Dark Knight Rises this weekend, so I totally get all the memes now. Here's a series with promise: Lane Kiffin, rocking the facegear, saying Laney/Baney things. [Bane Kiffin]...

Brother Of Former Mariner Greg Halman Will Not Face Jail Time For Greg's Murder Because Of Marijuana-Induced Psychosis
Greg Halman didn't get much of a shot in the major leagues. The Dutch-born outfielder had 116 at-bats spread across a few call-ups in 2010 and 2011, hitting .207 with a pair of home runs. Then, in November, the 24-year-old Halman was stabbed to death in the Rotterdam apartment he shared with his you...

Torii Hunter Accidentally Drills An Umpire In The Head With His Cleat
What a shitty season for umpire Greg Gibson. First, he gets a Stephen Strasburg fastball to the crotch in April. Now, he's actually in the correct position (as far as I can tell) for making the call on Torii Hunter's attempt to score last night, only to have Hunter's cleat roll up and clip him right...

Let's Save Jesse Eisenberg's Career
It hasn't been a good week for Jesse Eisenberg. On Sunday, when the cameras caught him watching Team USA's gold medal win over Spain, the broadcasters thought he was actually Mark Zuckerberg. On Wednesday, he "contributed" an "essay" to Dave Eggers' "90 Days, 90 Reasons" site that couldn't have made...