the Page 838 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Big East Conference Drops Last Pretense, Hires TV Executive As Commissioner
The Big East hired Mike Aresco to be its commissioner yesterday. Here are actual quotes from the presidents of two of the league's member schools, from the statement announcing the decision:...

Joe Gibbs: "I Was Queer For Tight Ends"
Joe Gibbs was just on ESPN Radio and ESPN News with Ryen Russillo and Bram Weinstein, and he had an ... interesting way of expressing his feelings toward tight ends (and toward Charles Oakley, who had just finished his appearance on the show)....

Not Content With Ruining NFL Jerseys, Now Nike Wants To Take Over Game Balls Too
Wilson makes NFL game balls. Good ol' Wilson. They're headquartered in Chicago. The footballs are made in Ohio. They make tennis stuff and baseball stuff, and they've been around since 1913, doing good ol' Wilson things. Oh, don't mind us, we're just humble Wilson, content with our leather balls-n-l...

This Hiroki Kuroda Scouting Report Is Apparently Brought To You By His Frustrated Wife
As seen last night on the YES Network. Although, after his two-hit, complete-game shutout of the Rangers, opponents are hitting just .215 against Kuroda at Yankee Stadium....

Interview With The Vampire. <em>Cosmopolis</em> (Starring Robert Pattinson), Reviewed.
Rage is rarely cold. Whether it's the Tea Party or Occupy Wall Street or Network, discontent with the state of the world usually comes to us piping hot, often satisfyingly so. That's why it's so disconcerting when a movie goes the opposite route, serving up its message with a calm, dispassionate air...

Whither The Melkman
Batman is a man who dresses like a bat. Spider-Man is a man with the powers of an arachnid. Aquaman is worthless and should have been kicked out of the Superfriends a long time ago....

This Horse Was Ready For The Olympics To Be Over
So despite reports of general good temperament (at least compared to Beijing) we had a few incidents with the equestrian horses provided for the modern pentathlon event. The first, of course, is our rodeo moment, but sometimes the horses decide to jump fences that aren't even part of the course, as...

It Appears North Carolina Has Published Julius Peppers's Transcript For Some Reason
Little over a year ago the University of North Carolina threw one of its own on the altar of the NCAA, firing head football coach Butch Davis after the school was penalized for, among other things, improper benefits and academic violations. Having dispensed with Davis, the school sought to turn the...

McKayla Maroney's Meme Knowledge Is...Impressive
Most impressive. Here is a photo Maroney posted to instagram with teammates Aly Raisman and Kyla Ross posing for a picture at their hotel maybe? Trying to get in a quick swim. Their luck ran out however, as they were informed the pool's closed....

Is A Monster Stalking The River Outside London's Olympic Stadium? An Investigation
LONDON—The River Lea winds its way southeast from the industrial town of Luton to London's East End, where it drains into Thames a couple miles upstream of the ingenious tidal barrier that keeps the capital dry. A tame body of water by any account, the Lea disperses toward the end of its course into...

Everything You Never Needed To Know About Rhythmic Gymnastics
We love gymnastics. It gets the highest ratings of any summer event. Every four years we fall in love with a new "America's Sweetheart." They get the Wheaties box. The team goes down in history....

Did The Wrong Thing. Spike Lee's <em>Red Hook Summer</em>, Reviewed.
Spike Lee is such a confident filmmaker that when one of his movies doesn't quite work, you almost wonder if it's your fault for not getting it. Secure in his talent for sweeping emotions and powerful visuals, he sets out to make a masterpiece with each new movie, and the worst thing you can say abo...

Everything You Never Needed To Know About Modern Pentathlon
Here's a great way to make some extra cash:...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Carolina Panthers
Some people are fans of the Carolina Panthers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Carolina Panthers. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Cubs Trainer Mark O'Neal Suffers Mid-Game Middle Finger Sprain
The Cubs ended an eight-game losing streak last night by dispatching the Reds, but it seems not everybody in the organization was happy. Here's trainer Mark O'Neal telling slugger Alfonso Soriano exactly what he thinks about Soriano's fouling a pitch off right in O'Neal's direction. (Soriano later ...

Zach Galifianakis And Will Ferrell Race To The Middle. <em>The Campaign</em>, Reviewed.
1. That The Campaign could never come up with a fictional scenario that would rival the absurdity of what actually happens in our daily political discourse is an obvious point, yet one that needs to be made again nevertheless. Is any sort of shtick that Will Ferrell could dream up odder than a reali...

Olympic Sailing Called Off For Lack Of Wind
Today was to have been the medal race in the 470 class and a consolation race in the Elliott 6m, but the weather in Weymouth was just too darn nice to waste a day sailing. After waiting more than six hours for the wind to pick up, and failing to sacrifice a goat to Aeolus, racing was called off for ...

Frank Viola Is Bored
If it's somehow escaped you, former World Series MVP Frank VIola's daughter is an Olympic diver. Brittany Viola bombed out of yesterday's platform semifinal, which means we'll be spared any future shots of Sweet Music taking in the action at Aquatics Centre—though it seems in this moment the Cy You...

The Conspiracy To Kill A Great Movie Franchise. <em>The Bourne Legacy</em>, Reviewed.
1. The first three Jason Bourne films had an intensity, a vitality to them that made them feel urgent and relevant, grounded in the messy real world of global capitalism and a U.S. government that was alternately confused, corrupt, and terrified. The movies didn't have a specific politics other than...

Wait, Did John Feinstein <em>Really</em> Delay A Basketball Game Five Hours For His Book About Selfless Student Athletes?
Tuesday morning, we flagged an article in The Millions called "The Problem with Sportswriting." In it, the author, Sebastian Stockman, having dived 544 pages deep into John Feinstein's navel, resurfaces with a great head-slapper. Stockman writes:...