the Page 856 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Look On The Bright Side: The Saints Just Saved $10 Million
The NFL has come down hard on the Saints for their role in running a bounty program, and it's not cheap: the team must pay a fine of $500,000. But they'll recoup that easily, because head coach Sean Payton's one-year suspension is without pay. According to Jay Glazer, Payton's salary is about $8 mil...

Sean Payton Suspended One Year, Saints Lose Draft Picks In Bounty Punishment
The NFL was promising to swiftly decide the punishment for the Saints' bounty program, and they were not lying—despite the NFLPA's plea to conduct its own investigation first. Today the league ruled, and the penalties are not crippling, but they are significant. As reported near-simultaneously by A...

A TV Camera Caught A Woman Either Scratching Or Fondling Herself After Sunday's Pistons-Clippers Game
Here's a little something that may or may not be eligible for our C-Roll stash, and it comes to us from those intrepid sleaze merchants over at Busted Coverage. Keep your eye on the woman in red in the video above, which was recorded just after Sunday's Pistons-Clippers game. I'm not sure who narr...

Panthers Score Magic Physics Goal
On Sean Bergenheim's tally, the primary assist goes to the Wells Fargo Center. [The700Level]...

Here's Bob Knight Saying "Kentucky" No Fewer Than Five Times This Morning
Bob Knight said the word "Kentucky" five times this morning on ESPN Radio's Mike & Mike In the Morning. Since this is, apparently, important, here's all five of his utterances. A full transcript of the relevant conversation appears below. [ESPN2]...

UMass Fans Celebrate NIT Road Win At Drexel With Middle Fingers, Surprise No One
Last night's NIT clash in Philadelphia between UMass and host Drexel turned out to be the proverbial barnburner, with the Minutemen pulling out a 72-70 victory over the Dragons. Fans who made the trip from Amherst had an especially unique way of celebrating UMass taking the lead late in the game....

Comments Of The Fortnight-Ish: Srsly?
To kick off today's discussion, here are two exceptionally great, fairly recent comments for you to examine:...

Report: Huffington Post Co-Founder Kenneth Lerer Now A Minority Owner Of The Mets
Ken Lerer and media executive Bob Pittman combined to put up $20 million for what is said to amount to 4 percent of the team, one of 12 minority stakes the Mets sold last week for a total of $240 million. The Mets may struggle on the field this summer, but the move makes them instant contenders in s...

Watch Teens Get Snuffed In A Sick Dystopia Where People Like Watching Teens Get Snuffed! <i>The Hunger Games</i>, Reviewed.
1. I feel I need to say this out front about The Hunger Games, since I'd never read the young adult book and wasn't quite sure what I was in for: This movie has a lot of on-screen child murders. Now, maybe on the page, this was less jarring, with the whole inherent textual not-having-to-look-in-the-...

Southern Miss Pep Band Members Who Chanted "Where's Your Green Card?" Have Been Kicked Off The Pep Band
We first showed you what it looked and sounded like last week, when members of the Southern Miss pep band put their ignorance on full display by taking aim at Kansas State's Angel Rodriguez during the first round of the NCAA tournament. In case you missed it, we've again posted the video for you a...

NIU Football Player Faces Assault Charges For Bulldozing A Band Member
Northern Illinois linebacker Jamaal Bass (No. 6 in the video, No. 1 in our hearts) was suspended for two games after an incident in November, when he ran over a poor Toledo band member. The trouble's not over: an Ohio grand jury has indicted Bass on one count of felonious assault and one count of ...

What Happens When A 35-Year-Old Man Retakes The SAT?
I took the SAT a grand total of one time when I was in dipshit prep school. This was 1993. Like any other kid, I wanted to do well on the test, primarily so that I would NEVER have to take it again, but also because kids at my school were real dicks about their SAT scores. You'd hear through the gra...

Gwar Lead Singer Oderus Urungus Sat In On <em>The Dan Patrick Show</em> Today, And It Was Weird
Commenting on topics as wide-ranging as the NCAA tournament, Peyton Manning's future, and "Canadian twit" Avril Lavigne, Gwar lead singer Oderus Urungus spent an hour on-set of The Dan Patrick Show this morning....

When Irish Eyes Are Swollen: How Sergio Martinez Beat Matthew Macklin On St. Patrick's Day
Reputations are hard to earn. And they're hard to keep. They come with benefits. But they can also hang on a fighter like a chain, an extra burden in a sport that's hard enough as it is. Reputations can't be carried throughout a fight. They must be shed like a robe and donned again when the fight is...

Sweetness Follows: Crazy-Faced Kansas Fan And The Other Mugs Of March Madness, Day Four
We've found the father of Alabama fan Jack "The Face" Blankenship, and surprisingly he is a Jayhawks fan. Here's the best—and worst—faces from yesterday's March Madness action. ...

Did Tiger Woods Shred His ACL Training With The Navy SEALs?
If Tiger Woods' old swing coach, Hank Haney, is to be believed, Yes. He did. Haney, you may recall has a book, The Big Miss, coming out just in time for the Masters. Excerpts were leaked in Golf Digest a few weeks ago, but The New York Times reviewed the book yesterday and noted an interesting asse...

Shock & Awe: Faces Of March Madness, Day Three
Underdogs are on crisis alert, as only five teams from non-money conferences remain in the tournament: Lehigh, Ohio, Creighton, Norfolk State, and Xavier. (Xavier would prefer you not include them amongst those other so-called "mid-majors," so we'll call it four.) The past two years have overshadow...

Big Wins And Ugly Losses: Faces Of March Madness, Day Two
Yesterday's upset-filled schedule of NCAA tournament action provided plenty of must-see moments as well as those that made you want to cover your eyes, like Truman the Missouri Tiger in the waning moments of their loss to Norfolk State. Here's the best and worst of Day Two....

Nicolas Cage, Dying (And Humping January Jones) Before Our Very Eyes
We have reached the point where the release of a new Nicolas Cage movie is less fodder for humor than it is an indignity upon everyone involved with its making. It is odd, actually, that movies like Seeking Justice, which will slink across 250 screens today, less a movie release than a walk of shame...

Winners, Losers, And Weirdos: The Faces Of The First Day Of March Madness
There will be no more gripping and/or sipping in the NCAA tournament, as WKU's miracle run has come to an end after a thrashing by Kentucky. But for every loser there is a winner, so here's a collection of both (as well as the indescribably bizarre) from yesterday's action. ...