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Youth-Baseball Umpire In Missouri Claims Pitcher, Catcher Conspired To Hit Him With A Pitch
In the fifth-inning of a big 18-and-under Mac-N-Seitz Midwest Championships and Showcase baseball game, home plate umpire Kyle Reynolds detected shenanigans were afoot. They were the sort of shenanigans in which a catcher allegedly jumps out of the way of a pitch so it strikes the umpire behind hi...

Cubs Fan Catches Foul Ball, Does Not Drop Baby
It's that time of year again, when dads somehow simultaneously shirk and embrace parental responsibility by catching foul balls with babes in arms. Last night in Chicago, a Cubs fan managed to juggle his infant to his left arm and grab a foul ball with his right....

What's All This About Tim Tebow Needing Hormone Replacement Therapy?
I'm a little confused. I wouldn't have believed Tim Tebow would need hormone replacement therapy — he seems like a healthy young man in the prime of his life. Frankly, I would have been shocked if someone told me Tim Tebow needed hormone replacement therapy. But it's a funny funny world we live in, ...

This Is What It Looked Like When Heinz Field Became The Home Of The Gotham Rogues
As mentioned in Wake Up Deadspin, "The Dark Knight Rises" production took over Heinz Field, home of the Pittsburgh Steelers, today. They called for about 10,000 extras and some Steelers, including newly married Ben Roethlisberger, were expected to be on camera....

Jay Cutler And Kristin Cavallari Are Returning The Wedding Gifts You Sent Them, With Dainty Notes In Some Cases
Previously, we brought you the story of some Deadspin readers who bought gifts for Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari off their wedding registry. Then we told you that the Bears QB dumped Cavallari. Here comes the fallout, courtesy of Crate & Barrel....

What Jock Culture Does To Pukes Like You
The following piece originally ran in The Nation's sports issue, on newsstands now....

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part VI: Robot Surrogates And The Abyss
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this mother until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is frozen in amber so humans of the future can study the behavior of assholes in the 21st century. (For tho...

James Dolan In Concert, Performing "Fix The Knicks"
Dolan, lead singer of JD and the Straight Shot, is a true singer-songwriter. He writes from the heart. He writes what he knows. Basically, he writes about people yelling at him all the time for doing such a shitty job running the Knicks....

Video Of Michelle Beadle, Clay Matthews Strolling To ESPY Party Surfaces; She Still Denies Fucking Him
The video was taken by something called "PopCandies TV" and was sent to us by an anonymous tipster who suggests that it's enough evidence to prove that Beadle and Clay Matthews were somewhat super-friendly that enchanted evening, more so than she let on. It shows Beadle, Matthews and others stroll...

Ohio State Can't Find Their Hitler Tree
Don't you hate it when you misplace your Nazi Olympic souvenir? [NPR]...

A Wrestler Called "Hannibal" Thinks A Wrestler Called "Butcher" Gave Him Hep C
In this story, an "Ottawa-based professional wrestler filed a multimillion dollar lawsuit against WWE hall of famer Abdullah the Butcher, claiming the wrestling legend gave him Hepatitis C during a 2007 match, forcing him to end his wrestling career prematurely."...

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Life, Death, And Sex On Skis
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. With things sweltering outside, we went looking for stories that might remind us of what it feels like to be cold. We found these instead....

Kelly Leak: The Coolest Kid Who Ever Lived
The following is excerpted from Josh Wilker's book about The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training, written for Soft Skull Press's Deep Focus series....

It's Not The Heat, It's The Humididong
Mitch Butler and Josh Landis couldn't even get through a simple 2:05 CBS Early Show segment exploring the nuances of humidity without slapping a big old phallic symbol up on the screen, and one with a rapidly increasing temperature, no less....

This Is What It's Like To Sit Near Big Yankees Fan Michael LaPayower In The Bronx
When Jake Bertanza went to last night's Yankees game, he might have expected that CC Sabathia would pitch a lovely game, but he certainly could not have known he'd end up sitting a few seats away from Michael "Big Yankees Fan" LaPayower and his videographer brother....

Floyd Patterson Was A Coward And Other Excerpts From One Of The Best Collections Of Boxing Writing In A Long Time
In the foreword to "At the Fights," a newish boxing anthology that spans over a century of pugilistic history, the novelist Colum McCann observes, quite appropriately, that, "Boxers get told to imagine punching a spot behind your opponent's head, to reach in so far that they can extend the destructi...

Fan Who Wore That LeBron Heat Jersey To An Indians Game Last Summer In Serious Condition After Attack
"Matthew Bellamy was attacked at about 3 a.m. Monday in the 2000 block of Oldgate Road, Sandusky police said. Witnesses told police that Bellamy, 30, didn't fight back when Robert Horton, 23, jumped out of a car and hit him three times." [Sandusky Register]...

Chase Utley's Inside-The-Park Homer Is Better Than Anything That Happened In Your Game Tonight
The best part (or worst, if you're a Braves or Mets fan) of all of this is just how excited the crowd, and the announcer, gets. It's late in the game. Philly's already up 5-1, over the Giants, whose 3.62 runs scored per game is the worst among all division leaders. Philly's also got the NL East sa...

Jay Cutler Re-Lists Himself As Single On Facebook (UPDATE: Fraudulence!)
(Ed note: NBC now retracts their earlier report, confirming that the Cutler Facebook page was a fake. I'll leave this post up so you can point and laugh at me.)...

Don't Dream It's Over: Disney Permanently Cancels ESPN: The Weekend
Last week, we mentioned, barely suppressing our glee, that ESPYs ratings had hit their lowest point in 16 years. With similar exuberance, we gave you ESPN's condom-obsessed in-house standards bible. Death knells....