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It Took Rescuers Two Hours To Dig An Olympic Swimmer Out Of This Sand Hole
Austrian Olympic swimmer Jakub Maly lives and trains in Pompano Beach, Fla., and yesterday was his day off. So he spent the afternoon digging a hole in the beach 7 feet deep and 6 feet across. Naturally, he jumped in, and naturally, it collapsed around him, leaving only his head unburied....

Is This The Ultimate Insult To A Rival Team?
Your hated geographic rivals are suffering one of the worst humiliations in their 130-year history. What's a devoted fan who takes pleasure from the misery of others to do? Fly a goddamn airplane banner over their stadium....

Deadspin Classic: How Everyone Decided Delonte West Was Boinking LeBron's Mom
Around this time last year, everyone was seeking an explanation for LeBron James's poor playoff performance. They found it, in the form of a bizarre Gloria James/LeBron James/Delonte West love triangle. Happy Mother's Day, everyone....

Your Kentucky Derby Open Thread
Post-time for the 137th Kentucky Derby isn't until 6:24 p.m. eastern but, hell, NBC starts its coverage at 4 p.m. so it's a stone-cold mortal lock that Costas'll do something toity enough to warrant open-thread discussion....

These Adorable Kids Are Going To Take Down MLB's Iron-Fisted Video Regime, But We Still Need Your Help
The MLB video war continues, quietly, even though we've kind of been actively ignoring one another for some time now. We received a lot of initial interest in our plan to take down the iron-fisted video regime, but then I guess it rained everywhere in America for two weeks and everyone's practice ...

The Week In Deadspin
A selection of stories from the week we converted to "journalism plus."...

To Celebrate Willie Mays's 80th, Here's A Rare Photo Of The Catch
Mays turns 80 today, and it's amazing that one of the greatest all-around baseball players ever can still be known for a single moment....

We Are All Dave McKenna XCI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit has a chromium-toothed alien erupt from its intestines....

Gus Is Gone, But His Most Famous Calls Mashed Up With Internet Memes Lives On Forever
During the 2010 playoffs, David "Crashtern" Matthews, former Deadspin staffer and current production coordinator for the Sports Show with Norm Macdonald blog, put together a tribute for our man Gus, who we learned today is "parting ways" with CBS. It is Gus calling the O.J. chase, Gus calling the i...

What Would A 16-Man NBA One-On-One Tournament Look Like?
Back in February, right after Blake Griffin did that car-dunking thing, I talked with Craggs about doing a post outlining a potential 16-man one-on-one NBA tournament. This is because when you have to bring out a fucking car as a dunking prop, your dunk contest has probably outlived its usefulness. ...

We Are All Dave McKenna XC (Introducing Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Fiction)
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dissected in a science class on stupidity. Today, we commence our Dan Snyder group fiction. Read an explanation here, if you haven't alr...

Kathie Lee And Hoda Had Their Own Boob-Grabbing Point-Counterpoint This Morning
The Today ladies have picked up on boob-grabbing. They're calling it a "new trend," and Kathie Lee doesn't like it one bit but Hoda likes it fine as long as it's "your own little secret." KL's bottom line is that the "grabee" must enjoy the "grabber's grab" for a boob grab to be okay, which I'm pr...

A Special Graduation Message To The Class of 2011
Every year, thousands of young Americans graduate from college. And every year, those poor wretched hungover bastards are forced to sit out in some quad in million-degree heat to listen to a mildly famous person yammer on and on for hours about how these kids will change the world and all that bulls...

New Yorkers: Come Watch A Live Sports Magazine, Since None Of You Are Buying The Paper Ones
Pop-Up Magazine, "the world's first live magazine," is hosting its first-ever sports issue and its first-ever Manhattan issue at the Skirball Center on May 11 in partnership with ESPN The Mag. Katie Bakes will be reading, along with a lot of other smart people, and also Jay Bilas. It will be the kin...

Shin-Soo Choo And His Arresting Officer Combined For A Comedy Of Errors
Indians outfielder Shin-Soo Choo was arrested early Monday morning on DUI charges, the second such Indian and sixth MLB player this year. People smarter and more serious than we, like ESPN's Keith Law, have noticed and called out the trend—Law tweeted, "I'm so glad MLB is directing its time and mone...

Michelle Obama Teaches You How To Dougie
We were wondering if our President and First Lady could do anything to top what just might be The Best Week Ever In Presidential History. And then Michelle Obama went ahead and did the Dougie. This, you should know, as a potentially tax-paying American, is a part of the "Let's Move!" campaign and ...

The Internet Has Already Killed Osama Bin Laden Getting Killed
It's been, what — 20 hours since President Obama approached the microphone to deliver the news that Osama bin Laden had been captured and killed? But the internet has not rested. The internet has produced its usual batch of meme videos, including keyboard cat, Taiwanese animation, and of course, t...

Grantland.com Published Some Crazy Lady Yakking About The Knicks
Forget about all the in-house melodrama resulting from the project, please be sure to check out our girl Bakes do her thing. Yes, ESPN.com is sneak-previewing today. "The Garden of Good and Evil" is on my summer reading list, for sure. [Grantland.com]...

Mark Sanchez's Childhood Best Friend, Now A Jet, Was Once A Horrible, Malevolent Teenager
On Saturday, the Jets drafted Scotty McKnight, a wide receiver from Colorado, in the seventh round, in large part because Mark Sanchez spoke highly of McKnight. The two have been friends since age 9....

Osama Bin Laden Is Dead, Professional Wrestler Declares In Most American Video Ever
And then John Cena holds up his championship belt, and "The Stars and Stripes Forever" starts playing over the speakers. Everything about this is perfect, right down to the guy shouting, "We won." [via @SherwoodStrauss]...