the Page 935 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I Was There...Being Paris Hilton's Manslave
Here's an unexpected submission. One of the young men selected to carry Paris Hilton during MTV's Cancun Spring Break shitshow emailed his experience and, I must say, it is something else....
I Was There Spring Break Edition: Strippers In Mexico
In 2007, "Lyle" went to Puerto Vallarta for his last college spring break, this is his story....
Erin Andrews And Her <em>Dancing With The Stars</em> Dude Are "Maybe" Dating
This is according to Maksim "Maks" Chmerkovskiy, who sarcastically told Bonnie Fuller's website last week that he and the Sideline Princess could be more than just reality show cha cha partners. They do seem cuddly....
Are CSKA Sofia The Most Dysfunctional Club In Europe?
For the past year or so, rumours have been circulating Manchester City are preparing to star in their own reality TV show....
Toni Kukoc And Derek Fisher Have Giant Penises, John Salley Says
Courtesy of John Salley, we're told that the NBA's most famous Croatian export is super-hung for a white boy and that Fisher is "six feet tall with a seven foot dick." Gentlemen, welcome to the geoduck club. [SpiderandtheHenchman]...
Shaquille O'Neal, Hipster Icon: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....
Harold Reynolds Disputes "Harold Reynolds Spring Break Story"
Yesterday we published a somewhat ridiculous Spring Break story from a reader named Kevin that featured an odd cameo from MLB Network analyst Harold Reynolds. Shockingly, Reynolds claims the story is bogus....
Barack Obama Did Not Bail Out His Brother-In-Law At Oregon State
Today In Email Forwards From Your Crazy Aunt: Did Barack Obama funnel $17 million worth of federal stimulus money to Oregon State in order to save his wife's brother's coaching job? Uh ... no....
I Was There, Spring Break Edition: Breaking Stuff In Harold Reynolds's Hotel Room
In 1999, Kevin and a group of friends spent their Spring Break in Orlando, for reasons that surpasseth all understanding. ESPN's Harold Reynolds was there, too. Slapstick ensued. Here is Kevin's story:...
Name Of The Year Bracket Released
Here it is, the final 64 Name of the Year nominees, and it's Nohjay Nimpson's tournament to lose. I'm just glad Dick Smallberries Sr.'s decision to pass on his name finally paid off. [NOTY]...
I Was There, Spring Break Edition: I Tattooed My Goddamn Neck
A very special Spring Break story, considering it's my own. Yes, your humble editor was once a student, and a fool. The Bahamas were very welcoming of both....
Beat Kansas, Win A Ten-Year Contract
Northern Iowa head coach Ben Jacobson just nailed down a new ten-year deal that nearly doubles his current salary. Also: Free corn-on-the-cob for life. [Waterloo Cedar Falls Courier]...
I Was There, Spring Break Edition: "He Said, 'How Big Is Your Dick? 6, 7 Or 8 Inches?'"
In 2008, Chaz went to Panama City Beach for Spring Break with 10 friends. He found an 11th one night — a very friendly young man in a car. Chaz's story:...
Vinnie Jones And Becksie To Remake Classic Football Movie!
For those who haven't seen the 1981 football masterpiece, Escape To Victory, you're really missing out on something quite special....
David Mamet's All-Caps Memo To TV Writers Is Delightful: "The Scene Is A Crock Of Shit"
Slashfilm got a hold of a David Mamet memo (say that three times fast and cuss profusely) to the writing staff of The Unit, a show he created. Simply put, he isn't pleased with their work. FUCK THE MACHINE! [Slashfilm]...
The Mennonites No Longer Hate America
Just hours ago, Goshen College, a private Mennonite-affiliated school in Indiana, played the National Anthem before a sporting event for the first time in their history. It wasn't without controversy. Of course....
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: André The Giant
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: André the Giant, who died of a heart attack in 1993. He was 46....
How To Tap A Fucking Keg
We asked Awl contributor Abe Sauer to write a profanity-filled, Spring Break-themed servicey piece, one that could be useful for both dopey sun-poisoned college kids and backyard BBQ enthusiasts. The Awl agreed to let us borrow its occasional series. Enjoy....
Kurt Warner Joins The Ranks Of White People Walking It Out
A sun-hatted Kurt Warner made an appearance at a charity flag football event and, like Buzz Williams before him, decided to dance to a song no one has liked for several years. Unlike Buzz, he's actually not bad. [Slanch Report]...
Last Night's Winner: Dance! Dance! DANCE!
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like ballroom dance enthusiasts who suddenly found a lot of weirdos hanging around them last night. Why are all these pasty dorks cheering the Vienna Waltz?...