the Page 935 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Introducing Charles Clinton: The Worst Sideline Reporter Ever (UPDATE)
Charlie Clinton is the sideline reporter for University of Michigan hockey games, guys. He's actually fairly knowledgeable about the sport, but his delivery is just a little awkward, guys. Needless to say, Brian Collins has some competition, guys. H/T Landon, guys....

Clay Matthews Not A Fan Of "Clay Mathews"
Clay with two Ts gets disrespected by the sign makers at his own charity golf tournament. Thankfully, water slides solve everything. [Twitter]...

Blood Writes: "I Got Stabbed"
This issue of Blood Writes features Jason's story of being in the wrong parking lot at the wrong time....

OMFG! Didier Drogba OUT Of The World Cup!
If you happen to be holidaying in Portugal today, chances are that your lunchtime platter of small sausages was temporarily forgotten thanks to a strange noise that sounded like a few million Cristiano Ronaldo fans all sighing in unison....

Today In "Bryce Harper Is A No-Good Hothead"
Bryce Harper is good at baseball and he knows it. He has a reputation as a bit of a whippersnapper, though, and after getting ejected last night for making a gesture at an ump, that rep will continue to grow....

Dead Wrestling Company Of The Week: Extreme Championship Wrestling
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Extreme Championship Wrestling, the notoriously bloody wrestling promotion that went bankrupt in 2001....

Brazilian Sex Workers Start World Cup Clothing Range
Apart from being an entertainment spectacle, the World Cup is a tribute to football as an inclusive sport — it brings everyone together....

The King Of The Ferret Leggers: The Classic Tale Of Sportsmen Who Put Carnivores Down Their Pants
In his new book, Rick Reilly writes at length about ferret legging, a bloody endurance competition wherein the athlete stuffs a ferret down his pants. In 1987, Outside's Donald Katz wrote the first, and still the best, ferret-legging account. Here it is....

Darren Sharper-Visanthe Shiancoe Feud Elevated To "You're A Terrorist" Level
Now that Visanthe Shiancoe has posted this picture linking Darren Sharper to Osama bin Laden, the two NFL "rivals" are officially in the dumbest Twitter fight ever....

Louis Vuitton Build Posh House For World Cup Trophy
This year's increasingly lavish World Cup took another step towards ascending to cross-branding nirvana yesterday as Naomi Campbell unveiled the custom-made Louis Vuitton trunk which will be a comfy home to the World Cup trophy for at least the next month....

Perfect Gentlemen: Rex Ryan Rides The Subway And Loves His Wife
This is a new series called "Perfect Gentlemen," wherein we feature stories from women (or men!) who've gone on dates with sports figures and had altogether positive experiences with them. In today's installment, Rex Ryan has figured it all out....

Pittsburgh Seeks Brave, Able-Bodied Young People For Controlled Toilet Flushing
Are you over 18 and a fan of coordinated, group activities? The Pittsburgh Penguins would like 250 "students" to flush all the toilets at the newly constructed Consol Energy Center. In other news, Western Pennsylvania now runs on toilet news....

Benni McCarthy Dropped From South Africa’s World Cup Squad For Being Too Fat
The only thing worse than missing a chance to play in the World Cup must be missing a chance to play in the World Cup on home soil....

Dan Patrick's Garish Yellow Man Purse Spotted At DMB Show (UPDATE)
One reader caught the Dave Matthews (Band) show at Hartford on Saturday night and had the good fortune of sitting near Patrick and his family, bobbing along to "Ants Marching" and the like. But, seriously, what's with the bag?...

Nando’s Steal Nike’s Crown For Best World Cup 2010 Advert
As everyone already knows, if there's one thing football players love as much as gangbanging young women and crashing high-powered cars, it's eating Nando's....

Matt Barnes Tells All The Hos And Tricks What Is What
Matt Barnes got a little angry about...something and decided to take it out on his Twitter followers and anyone who is a fan of spelling and grammar. [JamesPoling.com]...

Oh. Bye.
Have a good vampirey weekend everybody. I'll be back tomorrow dicking around because everyone else deserves a day off. Including you. So stop by only if necessary. And God bless The Starter Wife....

Colombia Robbed By “Scantily Clad Girls” At World Cup Hotel
Probably not the headline Danny Jordaan, head of South Africa's World Cup bid, wants to be reading over his Corn Flakes just two weeks before the tournament starts. ...

YES Reporter Loses Her Pork Chop To Hungry Fan
Well, here's a first. Kimberly Jones of the YES Network tried to show off Target Field's new "pork chop on a stick" when an amorous Yankee fan got a little too frisky and well....he drinks your pork chop. Video inside....

The Strange Saga Of Denver's Freestyle-Skiing, Group-Sexing Alleged Pimp
Some athletes retire and open up a car wash or a money-management joint. Scottie Ewing, former BMX rider and professional freestyle skier, skipped the pretense altogether: He opened up a swingers club in Denver. And maybe moonlighted as a pimp....