the Page 936 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ESPN's George Bodenheimer Summons The Gods, And Other Tales Of Whoring
NEAR RUSTENBURG / DURBAN, South Africa — Our friends at ESPN treat the World Cup like a luxury safari. A few days ago, I got to see how their leaders rough it. The occasion was a braai, a South African barbecue. But not your typical braai. Think wine and white tablecloth....

How Badass Is Your Dad?
Reddit users are preparing for Father's Day by sharing tall tales about their dads. Unless yours killed him a bear when he was only three, you lose. [Reddit; Photo]...

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 16
Day 6 saw a huge upset with the Swiss defeating Spain and Uruguay's Diego Forlan putting two away against an overmatched South Africa. Pretty goals, lucky goals — they're all here to be enhanced with some good old-fashioned cultural insensitivity....

Bristol Man Gets All World Cup On His House’s Ass
The Spoiler has some experience of Knowle West in Bristol, thanks to a few years spent getting loaded on the taxpayer's buck back in the early 1990s. Great times....

Tim Donaghy On Game 6: The Refs Get A Night Off
Tim Donaghy, the former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, is reviewing the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarter-by-quarter breakdown of Game 6, with video....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 15th
Lots of good ones today. The Brazilian goals were nonchalant and North Korea — the Bad Korea — scored on The Selection on a really nice play. Top honors must go to New Zealand's Winston Reid for his stoppage-time equalizer....

The Legend Of Black Superman: Billy Ray Bates, Flying High In The Philippines
In the 1980s, Billy Ray Bates, dubbed "the Legend" by Brent Musberger, washed out of the NBA and onto the shores of the Philippines, where for a few wild years his legend grew, both on the court and in the bars....

World Cup Open Thread: Brazil-North Korea
This one's not even going to be close, Brazil's going to show 'em what's what for kidnapping all those Japanese people....

Touchdown Jesus Statue Destroyed By Act Of God (UPDATE WITH VIDEO)
Via the Cincinnati Enquirer: "Lightning struck and ignited a fire late Monday that destroyed a 62-foot-tall statue of Jesus Christ with his arms stretched toward the skies." He'll be back, I'm sure. UPDATE: Watch Him burn! Video below....

"If They Decide To Start Killing Us," The Young Afrikaner Said, "We Are Ready"
JOHANNESBURG — See this button? It's called a panic button. It was given to me by my hosts at a guesthouse in Johannesburg. If I press it, I was told, men with automatic weapons will appear and possibly spray the street with bullets in order to quell the panic....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 14
Lots of exciting goals today — Japan's Keisuke Honda scoring off of a nice cross and Italy's Daniele De Rossi off a corner kick especially — but let's look at all of them in a culturally insensitive manner....

Tiger Mistress Upgrades Self To Tiger Baby Mama
A disgraced former journalist claims that a sensationalist documentary claims that a fame-seeking mistress claims she gave birth to Tiger Woods's love child, and was paid to keep quiet. Well, that's all the evidence I need! [The Sun]...

Tim Donaghy On Game 5: Why Make-Up Calls Are Necessary
Tim Donaghy, the former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, is reviewing the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarter-by-quarter breakdown of Game 5, with video....

Yes, Soccer Is Gay
According to this report, from America's finest news source. [Onion Sports Network]...

Americans Still Coming To Terms With The Rules Of Victory
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

The One Where The Mets Get Started Early For USA-England
Continental Harbor Hotel, Baltimore, Md.: Saturday before the USA v England game in Baltimore. We tried to get them to come to Hooters with us to watch the game but they had to go to bp I assume — Darcy D....

Your Culturally Insensitive Weekend World Cup Goal Roundup (Video)
Last time around, we didn't have that many goals and thus only a few chances to express woeful ignorance about other countries' cultures. This time? Eleven goals over six games. So let's get stupid....

World Cup Open Thread: Netherlands-Denmark
Day 4 kicks off with The Flying Dutchpersons taking on the very punny Olsen's Eleven while people the world over incorrectly point out which country is which on a map. Follow the consonant-filled action below....

Vince Young Lead Suspect In Dallas Strip Club Assault
"Tennessee Titans quarterback Vince Young is the prime suspect in a Saturday night assault at a Dallas strip club that left an individual with bodily injury, an official with the Dallas Police Department said Sunday." [CBS Dallas via SecondStringFullback]...

ESPN Gives Clint Dempsey Unfortunate Nickname
So that was fun, huh? The U.S. played to a draw today thanks in large part to Robert Green's colossal cock-up. Green is expected to be Temple of Doom'd by Capello later this evening. Next up: Slovenia, lower TV ratings....