the Page 948 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Alabama Fax Machine Replaces Memphis Door As Inanimate Symbol Of Existential Dread
On this National Signing Day, Alabama is offering a live video feed of a fax machine. The machine periodically spits out a piece of paper. A name goes up on a board. Nothing to be done. [CBSSports.com, via Bourbon Boys]...
Even USC's Student-Athlete-Hangers-On Getting In Trouble
Kevin O'Neill fired the student manager who drew a technical during USC's loss on Saturday after yelling at officials. Say what you will about Tim Floyd, but at least he would have spent money on his student "volunteers." [LA Times]...
The One Where Some Vindictive Lady Sends Us Pictures Of Matthew Stafford Making Out With His Girlfriend
Due to that awful stomach virus going around, I was unable to get to Deleted Scenes on Friday. Thanks for your concern. So this week you get a double-shot of unseemly Deadspin Deleted Scenes today and Friday....
Hurricanes' IR List Grows By One Little Girl
Already last in conference, Carolina's 11-year-old National Anthem singer couldn't make last night's game after a sledding accident. Also, the news report can't decide how to spell her first name. Dark days in Raleigh. [WRAL]...
Tonight's Most Important Basketball Game Was Valedictorian In High School
Two college basketball teams will battle for conference supremacy tonight in a game that involves a nationally-renowned point guard, allegations of casual racism, a murky college recruiting scandal, and a biting journalist Twitter feud. That's right: Harvard is playing Cornell....
PRETTY BIRD! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: "Dr. Death" Steve Williams
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: "Dr. Death" Steve Williams, who died of throat cancer on Dec. 29....
The Dangerous Message Of The Tebow Miracle
On Super Bowl Sunday, Tim Tebow and his mom will appear on your television sets and suggest very sweetly that the women among you play dice games with their God....
What Lawyers Sound Like When They Talk About Greg Oden's Dong
Yesterday we received a friendly letter from BDA requesting we remove the teeny, tiny picture of Greg Oden's not-so-teeny-tiny penis. We did not oblige. Below, you'll find the charming back-and-forth between Gawker legal pit bull, Gaby Darbyshire, and Oden's representation....
Gregg Williams Pretty Much Wants The Saints To Destroy Peyton Manning
Gregg Williams, highly decorated defensive coordinator of the New Orleans Saints, appeared on 104.5 The Zone's new "3 Hour Lunch" and laid out the WhoDats strategy against Manning: knock him out of the game....
Athlete Dong: <em>Omnium-Gatherum</em> And Critical Analysis
Poor Greg Oden — his penis made him an unfortunate rising Google-trender. Of course, Oden isn't the first athlete to have his privates posted online. The Awl's Choire Sicha, Deadspin House Gay, provides commentary on sport's many peacocks....
It Appears Everyone Can Now Make Half-Court Shots At Olathe Northwest's Gym
Okay — this is officially insane. FOX4 went back to do a follow-up story about Joel Branstrom's blind-folded half-court shot. Reporter Rob Low, just shooting a teaser for the spot, tried one of his own (backwards)...and also made it....
When Prank Wars Go Wrong (Update)
Most of you remember College Humor's hilarious half-court shot prank at a Maryland game a couple years ago. FOX4KC reports one area high school attempted a recreation, but was ill-prepared for the one-in-a-million chance the prankee would actually make it....
Pants On The Ground Has Gone Way Too Far
American Idol freakshow "General" Larry Platt and his magnum opus "Pants On The Ground" have become an integral part of the Vikings playoff run. So much so that Platt showed up at the team meeting today, and performed. Video below....
Stories That Don't Suck: Mushnick When He Mattered, Erich Segal (OO MAH SOUL!), MLK
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Ludvig Borga
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Ludvig Borga, who died Jan. 8 of an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound....
Tebows' Super Bowl Ad Will Be Carried To Term, Apparently
CBS has approved a script for that 30-second spot Tim Tebow and his mom are doing for spanky Jim Dobson's Focus on the Family. It will not have an "overt" pro-life message, MediaDailyNews reports. Get out those decoder pins! [MediaDailyNews]...
Oh, Go F*ck Yourself, Curt Schilling
"They were up three games to none," Schilling tells Bryan Curtis, analogizing Massachusetts' special election to that one year when he had an owie on his foot, "and there was no possible way they were going to lose four straight."...
Mike Greenberg Is Not The First Man To Accidentally Say "Martin Luther Koon"
It turns out the former mayor of Selma, Ala., Joseph Smitherman, also accidentally slurred his words but he probably didn't get half the grief poor Greeny received yesterday....
Mike Greenberg Would Like To Clarify Something
"I would never say anything like that," Greeny says of today's little slip-up, "not in public, or in private, or in the silence of my own mind ..." The silence of my own mind. Beautiful....