the Page 950 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Night Ended With A Brown Out
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Readers can empathize. Heed their warnings....

Sissies, Drunk Yoga And The Last Pure Football Game: A Dispatch From Harvard-Yale
Deadspin correspondent Craig Fehrman went to the 126th edition of Harvard-Yale, where he confronted both the overwrought mythology of The Game and the overexposure of at least one penis....

The Perfect Gift For The Kris Brown Fan In Your Life
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Haughty Drunken Excess That Is Harvard-Yale In Pictures
Each year during "The Game" (which most tailgaters do not even pay attention to) the blue bloods invade the yard and show off their finest Ivy League elbow-bending techniques. It's like a beer-sopped L.L. Bean catalog come to life....

The Jimmy Clausen Fight: Alternative Histories
The internet has graciously offered up several different explanations of what really happened at CJ's Pub last Saturday night. At this point, they are all equally plausible/ludicrous, but we present these unvarnished tales so that you might pass impartial judgment....

Jay Mariotti: Lurking Tormentor Of The Chicago Bar Scene
Mariotti's omnipresence on the Chicago bar scene — and recent photos confirming it — have opened the floodgates from numerous other Chicagoans(ites) who've had unfortunate run-ins with him. A few samplings of the (alleged) Mariotti interactions....

Ole Miss KKK Protest Goes Swimmingly
"Swimmingly" means "completely embarrassing for white power morons," correct? Then yes, it went "swimmingly." The KKK's hour-long protest against tolerance and common sense lasted about 10 minutes before the hooded wonders were booed off Mississippi's campus....

Thug Life: Marv Albert Says There's No Beef With 50 Cent
What sounded like one of the most bizarre fights since Axl Rose attacked karate-chopping fashion mogul Tommy Hilfiger, longtime NBA announcer Marv Albert told the Dan Patrick show that he "never crossed paths" with angry rapper 50 Cent. [DPShow]...

Matthew Stafford Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Matthew Stafford, who won the weekend by suddenly turning into Bobby Layne, minus the crippling hangovers....

"Faces In the Crowd" Brought To You By Valtrex
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

From The Desk Of George Bodenheimer: "Class, Dignity And Integrity"
Hey, look! It's another memo from ESPN President George Bodenheimer! And today he wants to tell his employees about all the exciting things his company is doing to slow its steady transformation into Connecticut's answer to Gomorrah....

The Basement Tapes: A Compendium Of Sportswriters' Hacky Jokes About Bloggers
Woody Paige, the orange person always yelling on your television set, recently disagreed with someone on the Internet. He then made a joke suggesting that the blogger still lives in his mother's house. Have you heard this one?...

Put On Your Whitest Whites: It's Klan Night In Oxford!
Booted from his fraternity, Michael Hudec will finally have an organization on campus that cottons to his beliefs. That's right: the KKK is coming to Ole Miss....

The Derek-Jeter-Hits-The-Beach-With-A-Starlet Photos Will Make You Miserable
Our Captain is off on his annual off-season jaunt to a humid location with a young, bikini-clad actress-person whom he will most likely never settle down with and, unfortunately for him, there was a slimy photog in the palm tree....

Yet Another Reason Not To See <em>The Blind Side</em>
Michael Lewis, author of the book that is currently being butchered at a theater near you, reports that presidential-blowjob sleuth Ken Starr was so moved at a screening of the movie that he cried. [NYMag.com]...

Last Night's Winner: France Haters
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like France, who finally regained their rightful place as Europe's most reviled country. We really missed dumping on those cheese eaters....

Farm Poise
At last, we have someone to fill the void left by Mark Sanchez roughly seven interceptions ago. Meet James Vandenberg, Iowa's starting quarterback and America's new avatar of poise....

Manny Pacquiao Will Soon Add "Oscar Winner" To Long List Of Titles
Producers recently released the full trailer for Pacquiao's latest movie—his 10th according to IMDb—and it is a doozy. The film is called Wapakman, and appears to be a semi-autobiographical tale of Manny's life as the world's greatest (only?) Pinoy superhero. It's got monsters, bikini babes, adorabl...

Isiah Thomas Can't Even Lose Properly
You'd think that someone with as rich and variegated a history of failure as Isiah Thomas would have the etiquette of losing down pat. But we are speaking of Isiah Thomas here. The man is a failure even at failure....

Crazy Old Man Gives Bills The Bird
Unfortunately, that grumpy coot just happens to be the owner of the Tennessee Titans and his affinity for the ol' double deuce is now immortalized on YouTube. If you have hands, feel free to nervously wring them....