Leading The League In Cliché: A Treasury Of Peter King's Inane, Made-Up Statistical Categories
Drew recently brought your attention to Peter King's funny little tic of expressing abundance by saying something like, "[Person or Team X] leads the league in [Intangible Category Y]." Today? X=Steve Smith, Y=guts.
Here's the line, in full:
Steve Smith, the Carolina Steve Smith, leads the NFL in guts.
Drew's already having some sport with this over at his second home. One wonders, though, what other players and teams have led the NFL in what other silly, more or less intangible categories invented by Peter King? Let's take a dip in King's archives, shall we?
Person: Andy Reid, 2002 Leads the league in: "boring press conferences"
Person: Andy Reid, 2004 Leads the league in: "brains"
Person: Norv Turner, 2007 Leads the league in: "coloring the color book between the lines"
Person: Bill Parcells, 1997 Leads the league in: "decisiveness"
Person: Tanard Jackson, 2008 Urged to lead the league in: "effort"
Person: Tarvaris Jackson, 2008 Leads the league in: "good news"
Person: Steve Young, 1992 Leads the league in: "diplomacy"
Person: Matt Schaub, 2009 Leads the league in: "normalcy"
Person: Tony Romo, 2009 Leads the league in: "smiles"
People: 49ers and Chargers crowds, 2009 Lead the league in: "tattoos"
Person: Peyton Manning, 2009 Leads the league in: "obstacles"
Person: Jason Smith, 2009 Leads the league in: "civility"
Person: Lionel Dalton, 2004 Leads the league in: "wasted chances" (via an NFL scout)
Person: Donovan McNabb, 2002 Leads the league in: "politeness"
Person: Tim Harris, 1989 Leads the league in: "talking" (via Green Bay teammate), "talking about talking"
Team: Saints, 2005 Lead the league in: "conflicted emotions"
Team: Cowboys, 2000 Lead the league in: "question marks"
Team: Broncos, 2008 Lead the league in: "excitement"
Team: Raiders, 2002 Lead the league in: "weaponry"
Team: Bears, 1997 Lead the league in: "broken bones" (via Chris Villarrial)
Team: Steelers, 1996 Lead the league in: "marquee players on the free-agent market"
Team: Chargers, 2009 Lead the league in: "matchup problems for defense"
Team: Chargers, 1994 Lead the league in: "long-term salary-cap planning"
Team: Giants, 2008 Lead the league in: "the training table"
It's like a sports almanac constructed entirely from the strange pathways of one man's brain. Peter King, we're left to conclude, leads the league in boiler plate.
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