the Page 961 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tennismania, Anyone?
In individual tennis, arguments are tag-team affairs, at best. The danger of team tennis, though, rests in the possibility of a brawl. Or at least some prissy and passionate (but polite!) name-calling. Especially with John McEnroe involved. [D.C. Sports Bog]...
In Which We Attempt To Translate British Journalism
If the English language isn't yet universal, then the verse of sports should be. I've never understood, then, why it is that I can't comprehend a word of 19th-century British newspapers....
Maybe This Is Why They Called Him "The Lip"
We're bringing back our popular "Dark Side of the Locker Room" series, which you'll remember was a compendium of journalists' bizarre, amusing and previously undocumented encounters with athletes (and often athletes' genitalia). Got a story? Send it to [email protected]....
Have You Seen This Purple Convertible?
Granted, Carolina linebacker Thomas Davis' $136,000 purple and chrome Caprice Classic really blends into a crowd, but it was stolen last week, so holler if you find it. Must be a lot of Panther-loving Prince fans out there. [WFMB/WRAL]...
ESPYS: A Live Report From Within The Vicinity Of Matthew Berry
The Talented Mr. PoonTo Returns. From an onlooker: "Matt berry is picking up on his espy escort chick about 20ft away from me.. Just got her number." Said "escort chick" is to the right, btw. Developing......
Terrell Owens Suddenly Remembers He Has This Thing He Has To Be At
I was surprised to learn "The Superstars" was actually on last night, opposite the All-Star Pregame. (Counterprogramming!) Thanks to the magic of time travel, I have learned that the episode was way more pointless than usual....
The All-Star Game, Through The Eyes Of A Great Photographer
For the second consecutive year, I attended the Baseball All-Star parade. (Sorry: "Red Carpet Day.") This year, I even stuck around for the game. Witness my sad attempt at photography as we do an old school Road Trip....
At Least He Won His Old Man's Respect
The baseball field, Turgenev once wrote, is a sacred bonding ground for fathers and sons. And what's bonding if it's not daring your son to sprint across the infield of a minor league ballpark? Visiting him in juvi, maybe....
The Home Run Derby Will Rot Your Will To Live
As it turns out, Chris Berman might be the only person pitched at the right frequency for the Home Run Derby. After three hours of that — three hours! — I was almost afraid I didn't like baseball anymore....
Nike Just Steals It
A woman in California is accusing the King Kong of clothing companies of stealing her trademarked slogan. Thankfully, this is America, where large, filthy rich corporations don't stand a chance against your average Jane Citizen....
New Zealand Athlete Needs Escort To The Olympics
Logan Campbell, a taekwando fighter from New Zealand, needs money to fund his bid for the 2012 Olympics, because $NZ300,000 is a lot of money, currency calculator reveals. Campbell's plan? Open a brothel. But of course!...
A Farewell To America's Softball Failures
For the last couple weeks, the injury-rate of rec softball competitors has drastically decreased, which is great news for the collective co-pay rate of America's health-insured, but bad for the column. But it deserves a proper send-off in gallery form....
Even Satan's Minions Love Albert Pujols
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning cra...
The Erin Andrews Chin Incident: A Reconstruction
What really happened on that fateful night when America's Sideline Princess was viciously attacked by flying baseballs? Just how bad were her injuries? Where was the ball boy/girl for protection? Why is there no video evidence? What are they hiding?!...
Wait, Maybe Running With Bulls Isn't Such A Great Idea?
A 27-year-old Spaniard (not pictured) was gored to death, when a 1,130-pound bull (that's him there) broke loose from the Pamplona pack and went understandably crazy. It's the first goring death at the famous bull run in 14 years....
Chad Ochocinco Tweets By His Own Rules
Ochocinco: "I'm using Twitter during games." NFL: No, you're not. Ochocinco: "Damn NFL and these rules, I am going by my own set of rules, I ain't hurting nobody or getting in trouble, I am putting my foot down!!" [PFT]...
The LPGA Continues To Ratchet Up The Crazy
The next time I'm hacking away on my local muni, I'm going to pretend like I'm snowboarding, because that's what Italian golfer Giulia Sergas does. Imaginary frostbite nipping at my windwhipped nose, I'll fit right in with the LPGA....
Now It's Time To Let Your Star Shine
So the new commenting system is live. Please hop to the bottom section and test it out. I'm sure there will be kinks, complaints, confusion and minor chaos. Feel free to contact bugs with the real boners....
Live-Streaming The Love Life And After-Life Of Steve McNair
McNair's best friend Robert Gaddy says, despite all glaring indications, Mechelle and Steve weren't getting for a divorce. Nope, the happy couple was buying a new home together. Now stop asking him about the 20-year-old girlfriend....
How Leagues Learned To Stop Loving And Worry About Steroids
The peril of steroids, like the Internet, wasn't apparent 40 years ago when Sports Illustrated published a prescient story about PEDs. In retrospect now, with steroids as dangerous as the Internet is real, professional sports appear more oblivious than ever....