the Page 961 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chad Ochocinco's Got This Placekicker Thing Down Pat
After his successful PAT: "'Esteban' Ochocinco is back. The most interesting footballer in the world. Everyone has to remember, I've always said that soccer is my No. 1 sport. I think Ronaldinho would be proud of me right now." [Globe]...
The Five-Star Columnist Is Unamused By Your Homophobic Taunts
Mike Lupica's ego is to sportswriting what Milton Berle's cock is to comedy. It is an occupational totem, around which colleagues spin fantastical-seeming yarns that just so happen to be true. Here are a few such tales....
Layla Kiffin's Job Is To Look Pretty And Keep Her Husband's Masculinity Intact
"He's got a really big heart. He's a great dad. And, he's got a really soft side to him. He cries in the girl movies." [Tennessean]...
Why Your Team Sucks: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Some people are fans of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
She's The Man?
South African distance runner Caster Semenya will run in tonight's women's 800-meter final at the track and field world championships in Berlin, despite concerns that she's a dude pulling a reverse Yentl on the world....
Don Ohlmeyer Addresses Roethlisberger Story, Learns What "Ombudsman" Means
Former NBC executive Don Ohlmeyer actually opened his first ESPN ombudsman column by reciting the definition of "ombudsman" from the dictionary. And also like a bad graduation speech, he takes way too long to get to the point....
Apologies For The Delays But There Is A Troublesome Dong Infecting Gawker Media
I've been told it has something to do with Dr. McSteamy's wang(NSFW) clogging up Gawker's publishing system. I'm just quoting from an inter-office memo circulating around. As you were....
Why Your Team Sucks: Carolina Panthers
Some people are fans of the Carolina Panthers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Carolina Panthers. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Iron Hammer to Coach Guangdong
Coach Lang Ping, who led U.S. women's volleyball to silver at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, has joined the previously unaccomplished Guangdong Hengda team. Lang, nicknamed the Iron Hammer, was a gold-medal player and silver-medal coach for China. [China Daily]...
Meaningless Struggle: The Preseason Opener
Why do you watch preseason football? To prepare for hosting duties, I sat down last night to watch three of my least favorite things: 1. the Baltimore Ravens, 2. the Washington team, 3. an exhibition game....
Southeast Missouri State Feels The NCAA's Sting
The NCAA has thrown the book at Southeast Missouri State basketball, vacating all their men's basketball wins from 2006-2008 because an assistant gave impermissible benefits to a player—by giving him a lift home to see his newborn baby....
And Here Comes The "Pitino Is A Baby Killer" Hysteria
Shockingly, Louisville's pro-life students are not impressed with how their coach handled the post-restaurant floor mom-banging: "Rick Pitino was willing to take his own child's life in order to cover up a cheap, tawdry affair."[ALL.org]...
Our Man In Boy Clothes Is Not Feeling Generous Today
Mike Lupica's ego is to sportswriting what Milton Berle's cock is to comedy. It is an occupational totem, around which colleagues spin fantastical-seeming yarns that just so happen to be true. Here are a few such tales....
Leitch-Hating Matador Records Co-Owner Loses Home In Fire
Gerard Cosloy, indie-music maven and proprietor of sporty blog Can't Stop The Bleeding, posted the photo you see here, writing: "This was a hell of a way to get out of hoovering the living room." Condolences. [CSTB, via Steady Burn]...
Colorado Gives Football Player A Blog, Takes It Away When He Blogs About His Libido
Colorado's athletic department recently gave Ben Burney a blog, ostensibly to provide a glimpse into the life of a college football player. Which was a fine idea until Burney provided a glimpse into the life of a college football player....
Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "The Football Fan's Manifesto"
Today's a glorious day. Michael Tunison aka Kwanzaa Primate's utterly fantastic book has arrived and he's graciously given us an excerpt. Plus! He's here to live chat with you. Buy it then pepper him with inane questions....
Josh Hamilton's Re-Redemption Begins After The Vituperative E-mails End (Update)
Josh Hamilton's photo-documented backslide onto a bar-top covered in whip cream while being groped by strange women was potentially disastrous, but he responded with a shockingly disarming press conference. But Hamilton's fans (Hambone Heads) went predictably berserk on us anyway....
Linda Cohn Bravely Tests The ESPN Social Networking Policy
60,000 Cohn Heads. Now there ain't but 20,000 Bristol police in the whole town... can you dig it? [The Rookies]...
The Devil Is Still In Josh Hamilton (Update)
Josh Hamilton claims he's been sober since October 2005. Since then he's rejuvenated his career, saved his marriage, devoted himself to Jesus, and become America's flawed, homer-derby hero. Last winter, while he was alone in Tempe, Arizona, Hambone kinda slipped....