the Page 992 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bela Karolyi Wants to Train Your Babies
Famed U.S. Olympic gymnastics coach Bela Karolyi is not a fan of little girls. At least not ones who can beat his team in the Olymics. Karolyi is raising a fuss about the ages of the Chinese gymnast, claiming that they do not appear to be the competition legal age of 16. Clearly the world's most fam...

USA/China Olympic Basketball Update
Over 1 billion people are expected to be tuning in to the USA/China matchup in progress in Beijing. In attendance are both Bush generations, the Chinese Prime Minister, and Henry Kissinger who appears to be sleeping in the stands. China has a big three that towers over the US team (Yao Ming stands a...

Our President Loves the Olympics, So Should You
It's tomorrow in Beijing and the events are about to start up again. There are a few medals up for grabs, as well as some qualifyers. Americans Michael Phelps and Katie Hoff, as well as naughty Aussie Stephanie Rice are all making finals debuts tonight and the men's gymnasts will take a shot at the ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while safe and secure in the No Ho Zone ... • Boxing: Junior welterweights, Chris Fernandez vs. Ali Oubaali, at New York (9 p.m., ET). Oubaali: Born in France, lives in Brooklyn. Is there a bigger contradiction? [ESPN2] • MLB: New York Yankees at Texas (8 p.m., ET). 92 degrees; 42 per...

Steve Smith Apologizes (But Would Really Like To Punch You)
For once again releasing his inner Sonny Corleone, Steve Smith would like to apologize. As you know, Smith popped cornerback Ken Lucas in the eye during practice on Friday, with the resultant damage being: a broken nose that will require surgery for Lucas, and a suspension without pay for the first ...

Ken Lucas Owns A Hyperbaric Chamber, And A Black Eye
Panthers' wide receiver Steve Smith got into it with cornerback Ken Lucas earlier today in training camp, the fracas resulting in Lucas being sped off the practice field in a cart with an ice pack over his left eye. But that's not what caught my attention about Lucas. While looking up background on ...

Hester Gets Paid, Favre Is a Douchebag, and the Pats Sign Jordan
The Chicago Bears have finally settled things with Devin Hester. They've agreed to reward their return man and potential wide receiver with a four year deal that worth $30 million including a guaranteed $15 million. However ESPN is reporting that the terms of the contract get a bit more complex from...

For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
• 1:00 — Golf: Senior British Open, Final Round [ABC] • 1:30 — Baseball: 2008 Hall of Fame Induction Ceremonies [ESPN Classic] • 2:00 — Cars: Sprint Cup: Allstate 400 at the Brickyard [ESPN] • 2:00 — Movie: The Ladies Man [Comedy Central] • 2:00 — Baseball: Chicago Cubs vs. Florida Marlins [TBS] • 3...

Will Ohman Has A Little Will Ferrell In Him
Will Ohman has been a solid reliever for the Braves this year, but this is certainly the first time I've ever taken notice of the veteran. Any jackass can pull off a half-decent Christopher Walken, but getting in the head of Harry Caray is a truly noble pursuit. Thanks to the 700 Level for the vid...

An MRI For Deuce And $22 Million For Dorsey
After yesterday's practice at the Saints training camp Deuce McAllister's surgically repaired left knee was swollen enough to send the running back in for an MRI exam. The move is just precautionary, but the idea of losing Deuce to another injury is to make a Saints fan throw up all over their Regg...

Introducing Deadspin Nation's Oleo Hero Of The Week
In some countries, ridiculous and unseemly behavior is punishable by deportation, imprisonment or even death. But in Deadspin Nation, one is simply singled out for ridicule ... then deported, imprisoned or killed. And since this is a democracy, our citizens get to choose. Each Friday, "Deadspin Nati...

Sklar Bros. Give Deadspin Exclusive Look At New Topps Web Series
Leif and Leyland Topps are just twin brothers trying to get ahead in the rickety, unpredictable world of the sports card business, with a boss who doesn't like them, a Steinbrenneresque CEO and enough half-baked ideas to get them into consistent trouble. Sound familiar? Anyway, it's the basis for th...

The Official Communist Party Quick Travel Guide To The 2008 Beijing Olympics
Drew Magary's Balls Deep column runs every Thursday afternoon. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK....

Alexei Ramirez Has A Magical Glove
It's not like White Sox second baseman Alexei Ramirez has gone unnoticed for his hustle and defensive prowess thus far, but come on; this is close to supernatural. Look at this play by Ramirez in the seventh against the Rangers on Wednesday; sleight of hand worthy of the Magic Castle. Wizard Cat gra...

Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins Remix "Take Me Out To the Ballgame"
Ryan Howard and J-Roll- "Take me out to the ballgame" (Remix) [The Fightins']...

It Only Takes Three Walls To Confine Your Soul
The office cubicle turns 40 this month, and since so many of our readers work in them, I couldn't let the anniversary pass unheeded. According to Wikipedia, "A cubicle's purpose is to isolate office workers from the sights and noises of an open workspace, the theory being that this allows workers mo...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch on the subway ... • MLB: Brewers at Cardinals. (7 p.m., ET). Ray Durham acquisition tips the balance of power. [ESPN] • MLB: Rangers at White Sox. (8:11 p.m., ET). I'll meet you in front of the Harold Baines statue. [KDFI] [WCIU] • Cycling: Tour de France (8 p.m., ET). This is a rest d...

But There's Already An Oklahoma Thunder
It's not much of a surprise to Oklahomans that some derivative of Thunder was going to be the newly relocated Seattle SuperSonics team name, be it Thunderbirds, Thundercats, Thunderpants, or the Fighting Dan Majerles. But it looks like they're just going to go with Thunder. The Oklahoma City Thunder...

Would You Pay $57,000 To Have These Men In Your Living Room? Rush Limbaugh's Ex-Wife Did
Everyone remembers how awful the Rush Limbaugh experiment on ESPN was. How long did it take for him to say something inappropriate? Two weeks? But Limbaugh resigned, ESPN looked a little foolish, and everyone moved on....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after installing this in your backyard ......