the Page 994 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Treed Blogger is a Dangerous Blogger (At Least Until the Batteries Run Out)
After we've finished a long day of blogging, we like to pour ourselves a tall Arnold Palmer (with enough whiskey to drown a horse) into a Thermos, pack the latest Uncle John's Bathroom Reader into a knapsack, and scurry up a tree for a relaxing afternoon. There, we find a perfect disconnect from the...
City Wins Big Despite Losing Richards, Deco Is the Difference For Chelsea
Manchester City's 3-0 drubbing of woeful West Ham was marred early in the second half when Micah Richards went down with a head injury after a midair collision with new teammate Tal Ben Haim. City's young star was treated by medical personnel on the pitch before being taken away on a stretcher. Aft...
Deadspin Interview: ESPNsoccernet's Lindsey Dolich
Lindsey Dolich has been documenting women's soccer for ESPNsoccernet and ESPN the Magazine in a freelance manner for about a year and has been the Ron Jaworski of these Olympics, breaking down each strategy and player in a highly detailed fashion that is instantly accessible to the casual soccer fa...
MLB Closer: Do Not Taunt Surly Third-Place Kitty
Zach Miner of Los Tigres Detroit committed regicide on the monarchs from Missouri, allowing only three singles in seven innings on the way to a 4-0 victory in Kansas City last night. How could he get away with such domination on a major league franchise while only striking out three? How could he kn...
NFL Closer: John McCain Taught Matt Leinart All He Knows About Football
Unless Steve Young took the wrong bridge out of San Francisco last night, there were no known professional-level quarterbacks in the city of Oakland, CA, last night. Normally, this would not be cause for concern, but an NFL preseason contest took place in Oakland Coliseum at the same time. (Arizona ...
The Thing I Do Can Be Related to Current Events So Look At Me!
Below, you will see what it takes for a man to excrete success. Frosted Flakes Gold is not involved, despite what our television just told us. Click to view ...
The Spurs Could Really Use a Hug Right Now
Tottenham took to the pitch this morning without the services of Dimitar Berbatov for the second straight week, and once again they failed to secure a single point. The frustrated Bulgarian striker wasn't even in attendance to watch his (soon to be former) teammates drop a 2-1 decision against Sund...
And This Little Piggy Smashed Your Face In
We've been irritated a time or six by a game official that felt they were as important to the proceedings as the participants themselves. We always had the urge to do something about them to return equilibrium to the event. However, we never got further than drafting a formal complaint and then for...
For Your Viewing Pleasure: Bite Me; It's Fun!
• Now — Sport-adjacent: "Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the Dallas Cowboys" marathon [HBO] - Hard Knocks: For people who prefer their soap operas encased in Lycra. • 12:30 — Sport: 2008 Beijing Olympics [NBC] - According to NBC, we will enjoy gold-medal finals in individual rhythmic gymnastics, tea...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you move your boogie body ... shake it sugar do it to it! ... • Little League Baseball: World Series in South Williamsport, Pa., USA semifinal, Tampa vs. Lake Charles, La., (8 p.m., ET). These kids just happy to be away from the hurricanes and floods. [ESPN] • NFL: Preseason, San Fr...
Study: NHL Players with Bigger Heads Spend More Time in the Penalty Box
Honestly, this is a study. Thanks to the the fine people at Brock University in St. Catherine's, Ontario we know that NHL players with fat heads spend more time in the penalty box. How? Evidently head width runs the gamut from the skinny (1.6) to the unusually wide (2.3). By studying the profile pi...
China Continues To Seduce Us With Its Quaint, Draconian Charms
Two elderly Chinese women who had applied for a permit to protest at the Olympics have finally had their request reviewed by the Beijing police. The verdict? Of course it's re-education at a labor camp for both. Thanks for writing in! Also, as I understand it, at their hearing one of the women was r...
Brian Collins' Career Finally Gets A Boom
Brian Collins, the flustered college sportscaster thrust into internet infamy thanks to his woeful "Boom Goes The Dynamite!" display, has finally seen his hard work and humiliation pay off for him in the best way possible — an actual on-air job. The 2008 Ball State graduate has apparently latched on...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a day at the Boobs on Bikes Parade ... • Little League Baseball: Pool play, in South Williamsport, Pa., Curacao vs. Guam (6 p.m., ET); Lake Charles, La., vs. Hagerstown, Md. (8 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • Olympics: Boxing (5 p.m. to 8 p.m., ET) [CNBC]; gymnastics, synchronized swimming, ...
B.J. Upton Has No Time To Run Out Doubles
One has to wonder why the Rays didn't pull the trigger and sign Barry Bonds long ago; he would have fit in quite well. They could give him the locker right next to B.J. Upton, and together they could form the Home Run or Nothing Club. Hmm. Are storm clouds gathering above the Rays' quest of an AL Ea...
Stop Us If You've Heard This One Before
David Hirshey Michael Bertin writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. If the season were to end today Stupid Fucking Bolton would be going to the Champions League. A corner of the universe just started to fold in on itself simply because that sentence was typed. If... If my aunt had a penis she'd...
A Dream Start For Chelsea, A Draw For Manchester
Big Phil Scolari's first Premier League match at the helm of Chelsea was pretty much perfect. The Blues began their campaign to reclaim the the league title with a 4-0 thrashing of Portsmouth at Stamford Bridge. Harry Redknapp's side was under constant pressure from Chelsea's reworked midfield, and...
Phelps Achieves Perfection With a Little Help From His Friends
Michael Phelps has just made history by eclipsing Mark Spitz's record of seven gold medals in a single Olympics with a win in the 4x100 medley relay in Beijing. Phelps maintained a small lead swimming the butterfly in the race's third leg and once again it was Jason Lezak holding off the opposition ...
PED Testing In London Will Scare The Crap Out Of Everyone...Or So They Hope
Looking for some cutting-edge ways to improve athletic performance without failing a drug test? Aren't we all! With failed PED tests expected to be at a record high for these Beijing Games, testers aren't exactly resting on their laurels. They're trying to find ways to test for the next generation o...
Those Chinese Certainly Know How To Conduct A Job Search
It's been both enjoyable and sad to see some of the stories coming out of Beijing. It's been seemingly one unpleasant discovery after another, between the poor girl who was deemed unpretty enough to sing the Chinese national anthem and the faux ethnic kids around the flag during opening ceremonies. ...