the Page 994 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
• 1:00 — Cheer: Cheerleading Worlds Competition. Admit it, you're intrigued. [ESPN2] • 1:00 — Soccer: AC Milan vs. Udinese [FSC] • 1:00 — Cars: Indianapolis 500 Qualifying. Again. [ABC] • 1:30 — Baseball: Boston Red Sox vs. Milwaukee Brewers. [TBS] • 2:00 — Golf: LPGA Tour Sybase Classic, Final Roun...

Previewing the Running of the Horses
The Preakness Stakes is finally upon us and Maryland students couldn't be more eager to get fucked up in celebration (it's not a real party without Scott Van Pelt). Since I know incredibly little about horse racing, I've turned to Randy, a lover of both equines and Deadspin. His words are after the ...

For Your Viewing Pleasure
• 1:30 — NHL: Dallas Stars vs. Detroit Red Wings, Game 5. [NBC] • 2:00 — LPGA: Sybase Classick, Third Round. [ESPN2] • 2:00 — Horses: Preakness Special from Pimlico Race Course. [ESPN] • 3:00 — PGA: AT&T Classic, Third Round at TPC Sugarloaf. [CBS] • 3:30 — ABC: LA Sparks vs. Phoenix Mercury. [ABC] ...

Game Called On Account Of Jellyfish
Enjoy it while you can, Marlins fans. Your team may have won two World Series titles and is currently in first place in the NL Central East, but things have a way of evening out (Dontrelle Willis calls it karma). According to a study cited in the Orlando Sentinel, the polar ice caps are melting at s...

Ain't No Party Like A Vince Young Party
The shirtless drinking photos of Titans quarterback Vince Young have been circulating around the internet for the past 12 hours, with all sorts of questions as to what in the name of all that is Nelly is going on here. The photos, allegedly sent from a tipster who saw Young swigging and jigging at...

USC's In Dire Need Of An Image Makeover
USC's athletic programs have been getting rightfully shit-winded by all of this O.J. Mayo mess in the last couple days (and, before that, Reggie Bush) but it'll be tough to find a more comprehensive list of the school's indiscretions during the Pete Carroll/Tim Floyd eras than the one put together ...

Forget Everything You Think You Know About Kyle Farnsworth
No word from The Dugout on this just yet, but it's only a matter of time. Yes, if you thought you knew Kyle Farnsworth — Grand Theft Farnsworth! — YOU HAVE NO IDEA....

Has Troubled Joe Phillips Resurfaced Online?
Most of us not in the Kansas City-area probably heard first about former Chiefs' defensive lineman Joe Phillips' troubles through the fascinating HBO Real Sports segment from last January titled "Family Burden." The story focused on a handful of wives of ex-NFL players going through hard times physi...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Boston Herald Gets Wingo'd Into Apology, Readers Revolt
During yesterday's Spygate meet-and-greet with the press, Roger Goodell and Matt Walsh revealed everything and nothing as to how this whole misguided mess actually transpired. What we do know? According to Goodell, Patriots coach Bill Belichick continues to be full of shit about his misreading of th...

And Toward Me He Charged: Charles Haley's Bananas
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awful...

LeBron's Mother Is Not Someone With Whom You Should Trifle
Last night's Celtics-Cavaliers Game 4 tilt will be remembered for two things: First, LeBron James' ridiculous, "you know, I could do this all the time if I really wanted" driving dunk, and, mostly, James' mother yapping at the Celtics who were wrapping her poor boy, and James responding with a subtl...

O.J. Mayo's Not The Sharpest Trojan In The Jar
This whole O.J. Mayo affair is probably not surprising to anybody who has a healthy does of skepticism about heavily recruited college basketball players' long-term goals and their abilities to make sound life decisions. As soon as Mayo signed onto USC, it was pretty clear that this kid decided Sout...

The EPL Season Ends ... And Look Who Called It!
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

About Last Night
What you missed while realizing that making fun of names is just too easy sometimes ... • NBA: It's Pau Gasol who's been carrying the Lakers all season, so why is it Kobe's back that hurts? Jazz 123, Lakers 115, OT. • MLB: Big Hurt ties Cal Ripken in all-time RBI; Athletics rough up Rangers. • Colle...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wishing you had Dumbo's mom......

The Happiest Place On Earth, After Mom's Favorite Antique Store
For the last post before Mother's Day, it would only be appropriate to feature the professional athlete who's the closest to his mother. That would be Super Bowl MVP Buster Bluth Eli Manning, who finally took his requisite parade float down Main Street of Disneyland on Wednesday after missing it in ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while modifying your flatscreen with a burlap frame......

Christian Laettner Inducted Into Hall Of Ethnic White People
For a Dukie, Christian Laettner had a decent enough NBA career: 13 seasons in the league with six teams, a member of the 1992 Dream Team and an All-Star reserve in 1997. And for that, he's going to the Hall. Oh no, you big silly, not the NBA Hall of Fame. He will enter The National Polish-American S...

Dyshod Carter Probably Not The Next Frank Lucas
Dyshod Carter, a former cornerback for the Cardinals and Browns, was one of five people arrested earlier this week for attempting to purchase seven kilos of cocaine from an undercover DEA agent at the low, low Phoenix price of $16,000 a key....