the Page 995 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Everything's Gonna Be All White
It's been a bit quiet in the sports world this weekend, so why not look ahead to what the coming week has to offer. Continue after the jump for quickie previews of Wimbledon, the NBA Draft, and guy who doesn't mind being called Pacman......

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while trying to forget this little bit of nightmare fuel (I suggest trying some of this stuff)... • CWS: Fresno State vs. UNC, loser goes home (unless Fresno wins). [ESPN] • Olympics: U.S. Olympic Trials, Women's Gymnastics. Try not to stare, it's rude and creepy. [NBC] • Boxing: See b...

When Jelly Wrestling Gets Ugly
Normally I wouldn't deign to write about such a mindless activity as collegiate jelly wrestling, but this story is way too good to pass up. The Daily Mail (via Unprofessional Foul) comes the story of a Cambridge lass who took a match of jelly wrestling a bit too seriously....

For Your Viewing Pleasure
• 1:00 Japanese Sumo Wrestling. All. Fucking. Day. [ESPN Classic] • 2:00 College World Series: Georgia vs. Stanford. [ESPN] • 2:00 NFL's Greatest Games: 1992 AFC Wild Card, Buffalo Bills vs. Houston Oilers. Frank Fucking Reich. [NFL] • 2:00 LPGA Tour Golf: Wegman's LPGA, Third Round. Pressel time. ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while tallying the score ... woodchuck 1, hunter 0 ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Alonzo Butler vs. Friday Ahunanya, in Las Vegas (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]; Andre Ward vs. Jerson Ravelo, for vacant NABO super middleweight title; junior middleweights, Ronald Hearns vs. Jose Luis Gonzalez, in Ge...

The Continued Downsizing Of Stephen A. Smith
This Thursday's NBA draft coverage on ESPN will not have Stephen A. Smith seated up front this year, instead they've relegated him to draftee-interviewing duties, an assignment the Miami Herald says, "he handled capably and calmly after the Celtics won the championship Tuesday."...

Bloggers Are Half Joe Camel, A Third Fonzarelli
The Boston Phoenix ran a story this week — complete with Simmons quotes! — about that whole mainstream sports reporters vs. bloggers business that we are extremely looking forward to being over. There has already been a ton of discussion about it, but we're not going to get into that this morning b...

To Watch Tonight
What you're not going to watch because you're not grounded after all ... • College World Series: LSU vs. North Carolina, in Omaha (7 p.m., ET). Two teams enter, one team leaves. Who run Bartertown? [ESPN] • Major League Lacrosse: Washington at Boston (7:30 p.m., ET). Well, another Boston pro sports ...

The Nets Are Pulling Out All The Promotional Stops
Well, we suppose this was inevitable. Now that the Nets have lost Jason Kidd and look like they're not going to be particularly compelling until they get to Brooklyn — just a mile or so from our apartment! — they've breaking out the big promotional guns: cheap gas!...

Kevin Millar: Word To Your Mother
Because we're video crazy this morning, Bromoblog has uncovered an apparent bet between Jason Varitek and Kevin Millar on the NBA Finals; loser has to come to bat to Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby." Apparently Millar lost....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after buying high heel shoes for your baby ... • College World Series: in Omaha, North Carolina vs. Fresno State (7 p.m., ET). Party on, Omaha. [ESPN2]. • NBA Finals: Game 6, Lakers vs. Celtics (9 p.m., ET). Game is so late due to media's notorious west coast bias [ABC]. • MLB: Cubs at...

He Calls This Move 'The Spanish Prostate Exam'
For those considering a career in bullfighting, please feel free to use this as your screensaver. One of Spain's big shot matadors was gored not once, but twice; including this most excellent shot by a bull who obviously knows what he's doing. And so Jose "The Balls" Thomas is forced to choose a new...

Keith Olbermann Is Not Much Of A Pistons Fan
Keith Olbermann seemed genuinely flustered last night when Al Gore took his sweet time taking the stage at Joe Louis Arena to endorse Barack Obama; so much so that he forgot what team Chauncey Billups plays for. Billups was onstage to introduce Gore, and Olbermann had to go to his notes to identify ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after displaying your enormous pink balls ... • Arena Football League: Colorado at Arizona (10 p.m., ET). Like playing football in your garage without the danger of sharp tools. [ESPN2] • College baseball: College World Series, at Omaha, Stanford vs. Georgia (7 p.m., ET). Tell that bul...

Becky Hammon Not Going To Be The Most Popular Gal At The V.F.W
Becky Hammon's decision to play for the Russian national team in the 2008 Olympics has stirred up all sorts of Cold War emotions in Americans, yet once U.S. coach Anne Donovan calls you a "traitor" for your decision, well, it's a Rocky IV mindset all over again....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Obligatory (And Quick!) Father's Day Post
Possibly one of the most endearing father-son moments in a movie — except for maybe the scene in Space Jam when the doctor says that DNA test reveals Michael Jordan is in fact Bugs Bunny's father — is the Field of Dreams "Dad, you want to have a catch?" scene. It also marks one of the last times we ...

About Last Night
What you missed while attending the retirement party for your commenter screenname, the one with the dangly hyphens... • U.S. Open: Tiger Woods would be in first, if it weren't for that meddling Stuart Appleby. • MLB: Yankees beat 'Stros 2-1, and Joba Chamberlain is up to six — 6! — innings. Ah ah a...

A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2008
This is BALLS DEEP With Drew Magary (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100 percent all-new material, is available here....