theories Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
GRRM Reads New Old Pages, Lending Credence To Insane <i>Game Of Thrones</i> Fan Theory
Famed no-pages-haver George R.R. Martin went to Balticon last weekend, revealed Brienne of Tarth’s secret lineage, and read some pages, which, despite their fresh unveiling, are old. He’s been slowly letting out advance chapters from The Winds Of Winter, the sixth volume in his A Song Of Ice And Fir...
Who Is Going To Kill Ramsay Bolton?
There are only two questions that I’m interested in seeing answered during this season of Game of Thrones: Is Ramsay Bolton going to get fucked all the way up? If he is, who is going to do it?...
We Are Witnessing The Death Of The Hot Sports Take
Yesterday, we found Mt. Take, a place brimming with the hottest sports takes anyone on this good earth has ever seen. Some may have seen the discovery of this dark heart of sports opinions as a sign that the Take Industrial Complex is only getting stronger. I submit a different theory: the takes are...
Kobe Bryant Makes Another Fan Look Like An Awkward Schmuck
Kobe Bryant has been a kindler and gentler version of himself during his farewell season, and it’s been a little hard to understand how Kobe could suddenly stop being a vicious, hypercompetitive maniac. I’ve developed a groundbreaking new theory, though, that explains how Kobe’s been able to maintai...
Mark Schlereth Has Some Thoughts On The Solar System
Today, son of Alaska, ESPN football analyst, and chili plug Mark Schlereth piqued our interest when he tweeted this smuggish tweet......
What's The Wildest Conspiracy Theory You Actually Believe?
Today, rapper B.o.B took to Twitter with a conspiracy theory, and that conspiracy theory was that Earth is in fact flat. It was a wild theory, and it made us wonder: What’s the wildest conspiracy you actually can kind of get behind?...
Some Theories About Bill Belichick's Mysterious Black Eye
Patriots head coach Bill Belichick showed up to his press conference this morning sporting a shiner above his left eye. He didn’t bother to explain how he got it, so we’ve come up with a few educated guesses....
The Biblical Theory Of Why Fat Rappers Should Stay That Way
There's a story in the Bible about a guy named Samson, a very strong man with very long hair that had never been cut—and when it finally did get chopped off, he lost all his strength. It's the same thing with fat rappers....
Anonymous Seahawk Blames Final Play Call On Anti-Lynch Conspiracy
It's important to try and understand the bone-deep despair that has no doubt infected the Seattle Seahawks before judging their postgame comments. A certain madness can come from a gut-punch like the one they suffered in the final seconds of Super Bowl XLIX, and that madness can lead to people sayin...
The Fuck Is Wrong With LeBron? Some Theories
Holy shit, the Cavaliers are 1-3! ONE AND THREE! OH MY GOD, CLEVELAND IS CLEVELANDING ALL OVER ITSELF AGAIN! Now, listen: I know that newly assembled teams like this need time to gel, and that the NBA regular season is fucking stupid, and that the Heat struggled in a similar fashion at first with...
Who Hacked The Nudes? A Working Theory
Everyone likes a good mystery, and the best one around right now involves the leak of hundreds of celebrity nudes onto the internet. The prevailing theory is that some hacker cracked Apple's iCloud service and then uploaded the nudes to the image-based bulletin board 4chan. We suspect that's not wha...
All The Internet Clues That Point To LeBron Going To Cleveland
Though LeBron James has remained totally silent about his free agency plans, the tea leaves are there, if you're desperate and crazy enough to read them. ...
Bill Simmons Lays Out Nonsensical Theory About LeBron James
At the half during last night's Miami Heat-Indiana Pacers game, ESPN multiplatform presence Bill Simmons offered up a remarkable theory to explain why LeBron James came out slowly in the game. James, he speculated, may have been distracted by the results of the NBA draft lottery, in which his former...
Thin Air: In The Mountains With Steve Carlton, Armed Conspiracist
Originally published as "Thin Mountain Air" in the April 1994 issue of Philadelphia Magazine. The story appears in The Best Sports Writing of Pat Jordan published by Persea books. A postscript with thoughts from both the author and editor follows....
The Tsarnaev Brothers Allegedly Followed 9/11 Conspiracies Online
The world had to wait a half hour, max, for people to speculate that the Boston Marathon bombing was a “false flag,” i.e., a disaster manufactured by the government and pinned on someone else for political ends. Among the first to apply his apparent omniscience and determine, based on virtually no f...
Former ECW And WWE Wrestler Stevie Richards Has Political Aspirations, Is Insane
Via The Masked Man, former wrestler Stevie Richards has introduced the world to his ideals and policy recommendations (both soon to be ubiquitous in our political milieu) with a radio interview on VOC Wrestling Nation announcing his aspirations for state office. Richards spoke eloquently of his heig...
Some Celtics Fans Will Be Wearing Tim Donaghy Masks Tonight
Celtics fans, including the world's most famous Celtics fan, truly believe that the NBA is rigged and/or biased for Miami and against Boston. To do their best to give David Stern an aneurism, there's a campaign to print out and wear masks of everyone's favorite crooked ref Tim Donaghy. This is the b...