ti Page 1657 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part IV: Cooke And Bligle Jim Escape To The Potomac
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit chokes on a crab puff at a cocktail party. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna CX.")...

David Beckham Secures A Post-Soccer Future In Field Security With This Fan Takedown
English soccer clubs sometimes play "testimonials," in which they bring back their older stars for a friendly match of former rivals. Like parades or bowling parties, it's a nice way to make the old folk feel appreciated for still being around. Yesterday, with Man United playing Juventus in the Ga...

Bernard Hopkins Finally Explains His Loathing For Donovan McNabb And How He Can "Look Through A Man's Soul"
You might recall that before he became the oldest boxing champ in history last weekend, Bernard Hopkins had some choice words for Donovan McNabb, who never had much truck with the boxer, aside from neglecting to shake his hand when Hopkins visited the Eagles training center in 2004. Never one to let...

Oscar De La Hoya Is Not Having A Fun Time In Rehab
Oscar looks bloated and sad, as this valiant paparazzo hounds him. What happened to the Golden Boy?...

All The Unkind Things Bill Simmons Said About His Colleagues In The ESPN Book
One of the most interesting characters to emerge from the ESPN book is the formerly inscrutable Bill Simmons, if only because we've never heard him be so (openly) self-aware before. He again whips out the big swinging dick in some more excerpts....

Tortured Analogy Leads Tiki Barber To Declare Himself A "Reverse Anne Frank"
The Tiki Barber image rehab tour kicks off in earnest (remember, he's planning to play again) with a big Sports Illustrated profile dropping tomorrow. In it, he tells a story of the time he went into hiding in the attic of his agent, Mark Lepselter....

Secret Service Can't Protect George W. Bush From Foul Ball
They'll take a bullet for the former president, but they can't save him from a lazy foul pop into the box seats in Arlington. Neither could A.J. Pierzynski:...

Here's Tim Thomas With The Best Save Of The Playoffs
That endorsement from hockey minds across Twitter tonight. Steve Downie, in a one-goal game, would probably agree....

Cash-Filled Envelopes And Other Peculiars From Sepp Blatter's Reelection Campaign
It's hard to keep track of the political gyrations at FIFA these days, especially with president and Swiss money-eel Sepp Blatter running for reelection. Corruption charges have been flying since former FA head and England's 2018 World Cup campaign chairman Lord Triesman told the British Parliament ...

The Ryan Giggs Affair Reaches An Apotheosis Of Stupidity
Remember how everybody knows Ryan Giggs had an affair with Imogen Thomas, but they couldn't say it because of the dreaded Super Injunction? So, yeah, that Super Injunction is still in place today, but that isn't stopping every single English newspaper from sticking his name and mug all over their ...

Half-Marathon Finisher Gets Caught Cheating, Is A Dog
Here's Dozer the Goldendoodle crossing the finish line of the Maryland Half Marathon last week. Already he's become something of a local legend, with media interviewing his owner and volunteers pledging thousands of dollars in donations on his official runner page. But something's not right. Look ...

Meet The Blackjack Superhero Who Took Atlantic City For $15 Million
Two weeks ago, we learned about the gambling ace who saddled the Tropicana Casino and Resort with a record $5.8 million loss at the blackjack tables in April. There was much speculation about his identity. Now, there is an answer. The Press of Atlantic City scored an interview with the gambler, an O...

Young MMA "Beast" Stops Old MMA "Beast" From Winning 100th Match
Here, Dan "The Beast" Severn tries to match Bernard Hopkins's old-guy-can-do spirit. Here, in an attempt to earn his 100th victory at the DCU Center in Worcester, Mass., the 52-year-old Severn fails to do so....

Sometimes, Tom Brady Makes It Too Easy To Have A Tom Brady Caption Contest
Torn from the Just Jared "Gisele Bundchen: Bikini Pooltime with Tom Brady!" headlines comes this wonderful shot of the New England Patriots quarterback totally enjoying the pool slide at a Mexican resort....

Suspect Arrested In Bryan Stow Beating Case (Updated)
The Los Angeles Times is reporting that "a man suspected of being one of the two assailants in the brutal beating of Giants fan Bryan Stow at Dodger Stadium was taken into custody early this morning, Los Angeles police sources say....

Former Oregon State Pitcher Was Paralyzed After Spinal Injury, But Can Now Stand
In 2006, 20-year-old Oregon State University pitcher Rob Summers suffered a spinal injury which left him unable to use his legs after a still-unsolved hit-and-run case. Five long years later, he's been dubbed "Superman." Once paralyzed, Summers can now stand and has regained "some purposeful moveme...

My Workout Partner is a Role-Playing Game
Two hundred bucks. My health insurance company will give me $200 if I just go to the gym, 50 times in a six-month span. That's about two times a week. Coming into May, I only needed seven more visits to… [Kotaku] ...

Aaron Rodgers Practiced His "I'm Going To Disney World" For Days Before The Super Bowl
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Rodgers loves him some "Glee," not so much Christina Aguilera....

This Poor Dog Is Forced To Sit Outside Mets Games With A Pipe In Its Mouth
As if you weren't already paying too much to see Justin Turner mash on Dillon Gee's behalf, a recent internet groundswell sheds light on another gross perversion inherent in the Citi Field experience. A dog, Coffee, sits outside the stadium, ostensibly for your amusement, in sunglasses or a Groucho ...

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part III: The Fetid Breath Of The Bligle
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit chokes on a crab puff at a cocktail party. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna CV.")...