ti Page 1656 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The NHL Had A Good Day Yesterday
The Stanley Cup Playoffs, like the NBA playoffs, drag on for what feels like an eternity-spanning April, May and June. If every day shakes out the way yesterday did, however, then it might be worth it. Four games were played and three went to overtime. Four series had the chance to go 2-0 and all f...

Jacoby Ellsbury Placed On Disabled List After Dislocating His Shoulder Yesterday
It's been a tough April for the Red Sox. They're in last place in the East and are still dealing with the hangover of last September's epic collapse. Centerfielder Jacoby Ellsbury can't be blamed for either. He was the best position player in the American League last year (321/.375/.552, 32 HR), a...

Free Willy 2 Features An Unexpected Co-Star: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
Welcome back to best almost-dong feature on the internet. Today we've got some new interpretations, along with some classics. Up first, thanks to @sadbasementtalk, we have Time Warner's synopsis of Free Willy 2. As always, be sure to send in any would-be penises to the tips department. ...

This Resizing Of The Batter's Box Sponsored By <em>The Three Stooges</em>
Yesterday's White Sox home opener against the Tigers was delayed when Detroit slugger Miguel Cabrera noticed the batter's boxes weren't in the right place, leading to the above display of buffoonery. Cabrera's at-bat (which came after consecutive Jake Peaky strikeouts) was pushed back nearly nine m...

Play the Free Draftstreet Baseball Contest Tonight and Win Up To $500
It's that time of year: the crack of the bats, the smell of processed meats, the roar of the crowd, and the sight of team-gear-bedecked fans are common occurrences, from opening day all the way through to November.DraftStreet is back by popular demand, just in time for baseball season, bringing you...

Blake Griffin Can't Dunk When There's No One In His Way
Guess it was just too easy for him....

Rob Gronkowski Plays "Fuck, Marry, Kill" For Rex Ryan, Betty White, And Tim Tebow
The Rob Gronkowski Magical Mystery Tour rolled into URI last night, and as with all university speakers, "Fuck, Marry, Kill" was played. Gronk's (partial) answer: "I would F Tebow, the kid(?), take his virginity." The bro near the camera finds it hilarious. [via Jimmy Traina]...

Martin Havlat Gave The Sharks A Game One Win With This Double-Overtime Goal
There's plenty of reasons the Stanley Cup playoffs are the best in sports, but the chance for extended, multiple-overtime games is certainly one of them. After Boston's physical 1-0 OT win over Washington, hockey fans were treated to two overtimes between San Jose and St. Louis, a game decided by...

The Unstoppable Frisbee Trick Shot Menace Has Finally Reached Quebec
Look, it's not the "greatest Frisbee catch in the history of Frisbee catches," but it is Frisbee trick shot expert Brodie Smith and some random people in Nordiques jerseys—OK, and one Maple Leafs fan—defy the laws of physics throughout the Colisée Pepsi, so there's that....

When Serious Actors Become Action Stars: A Guide
This Friday, Lockout opens, and beyond its prison-colony-in-space hook, probably the most interesting element to this sci-fi film is "Holy cow, is that Guy Pearce kickin' all that ass?" Why, yes, it is—and it's a conscious departure from the serious dramatic roles we usually see from him (Memento, L...

JaVale McGee Sent Kevin Love To The Hospital With A Concussion
In a season of JaVale McGee doing awesome things—intentionally or unintentionally—his latest act is decidedly less so, as an inadvertent elbow decked Kevin Love and sent the Timberwolves star to the hospital with a concussion in the first quarter of last night's bout in Denver....

A Guide For Sports Fans (And Would-Be Plutocrats) To Doing Your Taxes
Those of you who are not Darryl Strawberry will be spending the next few days on your tax returns. Here are a few practical things—and a number of not-so-practical things—that every sports fan should know about his or her taxes. ...

Better Know An Umpire: Todd Tichenor
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year....
![Ronaldo's Free Kick Goal Was So Good GOLTV's Ray Hudson Could Only Describe It Using Sexual Terminology [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Ronaldo's Free Kick Goal Was So Good GOLTV's Ray Hudson Could Only Describe It Using Sexual Terminology [UPDATE]
We've written here before about how spectacular La Liga goals can bring GOLTV analyst Ray Hudson to orgasm, but today's free kick goal by Cristiano Ronaldo against Atlético de Madrid earned Hudson's description of an orgasm....

3 Things To Watch For On The First Night Of The Stanley Cup Playoffs, Which Is Tonight, I Think
We're pretty sure the National Hockey League playoffs begin tonight. They excite lots of folks, so they might excite you too....

Mark Reynolds Is The Worst Third Baseman In Baseball
Yes, even worse than Miguel Cabrera. Last night's Orioles-Yankees game only went to extra innings because Reynolds booted a grounder in the sixth inning that led to a pair of Yankee runs. In the top of the 12th, with the go-ahead runner on third and one out, Reynolds gave perfunctory chase to a f...

Mayor Cory Booker And The New Jersey Devils Are Having The Most New Jersey Feud Ever
Chances are you have not been following the feud between the New Jersey Devils and Newark mayor Cory Booker, unless you are a Devils fan and a New Jersey political junkie, which is to say, unless you are Joe Piscopo. That's a shame. It's one of the more publicly bitter city vs. owner feuds we've see...

L.A. Firefighter Arrested For Moonlighting As MMA Brawler While Allegedly On Workman's Comp
Raphael Davis, an L.A. city firefighter, allegedly filed claims for worker's compensation insurance between December 2008 and May of last year, when prosecutors say he fought in MMA bouts as "The Noodle." [LA Weekly, via Cagewriter]...

Do You Like Self-Conscious Scary Movies? <em>The Cabin In The Woods</em>, Reviewed.
Sixteen years ago, I saw Scream for the first time. I loved it. Not only was it funny and smart, it felt like a game-changer: a movie that exploded all the conventions of its genre while at the same time being a really good example of its genre. By pointing out all the clichés of horror movies, Scre...

Jalen Rose Called Out Skip Bayless's High School Hoops Fantasy And Bayless Confessed
After reports emerged yesterday that ESPN's Skip Bayless had grossly exaggerated his high school basketball career—claiming he started for a state finalist team when his own high school yearbook suggests he averaged just 1.4 points per game—First Take panelist and actual basketball star Jalen Ros...