ti Page 1682 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
New Sports Chat Show Held Inside Actual Sports Dome
As you well know, sports are fertile ground for ridicule, absurdity, and repeated failure. Onion SportsDome inflates on Comedy Central tonight, and hosts Mark Shepard and Alex Reiser will present all the ball-related news you can stand from right inside that dome....
Oregon Wasn't As Fast As Nike Made Them Look
There was method to the madness of Oregon's uniforms last night, according to Nike's top uniform designer. Here are their neon green secrets....
Here Are Two Photos Of Michael Dyer Maybe Being Down
Is the ankle part of the foot? Is the wrist part of the hand? Should it matter, if there's precedent? Let's all argue for a few news cycles and then forget about it....
Last Night's Winner: Cecil Newton Made It After All
"Limited access" to the team means one thing to normal people like me or you, and another thing entirely to Cecil Newton. Despite Auburn saying he wouldn't be in attendance, there he was, cheering on his son. Season over, Cecil Newton wins....
Goal Of The Year Wasn't The Year's Best Goal (Among Other FIFA Ballon d'Or Oversights)
This post, written by Richard Anderson, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....
Your "Stolen Laptop Vs. Stolen Projector" Auburn-Oregon Open Thread
Auburn's bigger; Oregon actually has something resembling a defense. Oregon has a running game; Auburn has Cam Newton, who is their running game. This one should be high scoring, and fun to watch....
The Rest Of The SEC Needs To Quit Rooting For Auburn
There's a nasty characteristic, endemic to but not solely the province of the SEC, in which fans of rival schools put that all aside to pull for their conference in big games. This is unacceptable....
Quickish.com Has Arrived
Our good friend Dan Shanoff has launched Quickish.com, a collection of real-time sports news recommendations. It's like a very well-tended Twitter feed, minus the Peter Gammons cryptograms....
The Wind Talkers Of Oregon Football Stump The Finest Minds
Tomorrow brings us another minor football contest and more of the cryptic placards of battleships and jack-o-lanterns that Oregon backup QB Dustin Haines has been flashing at teammates throughout the season. The system appears to have been designed by some mad genius....
The Smutty Innuendo Of Tiger Woods's <em>Golf Digest</em> Columns
We mourn this week a towering man-of-letters: Tiger Woods. If you grow verklempt upon hearing the recent doleful news that Golf Digest is canceling Woods's 13-year-old column, you're in good company. But it's happening....
Your Germ-Free Chiefs-Ravens Open Thread
Joe Cool goes up against Brady's backup. Ed Reed's brother goes missing. And Jamaal Charles appears to have dodged the flu, thanks to an advanced hygiene routine Chiefs coach Todd Haley put in place before the game....
Les Miles-To-Michigan Rumors Reach Flight-Tracking Stage, Entrail-Reading Stage
Sometime between LSU coach Les Miles asking his stylist for a "Ronald McDonald" and the Tigers stomping the Aggies in the Cotton Bowl, the mysterious plane here landed in Baton Rouge. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?...
<em>Chicago Sun-Times</em> Mixes Up Its Latino Baseball Players
The Cubs on Friday traded for Tampa Bay pitcher Matt Garza. Apparently, this confused the Chicago Sun-Times, which slapped a full-page photo on its back cover of...Joaquín Benoit. Both pitchers are right-handed. Both have facial hair. Let's stop there....
Ignore Your TV Guide; The Bengals Did Not Make The Playoffs
The CBS affiliate in Cincinnati only yesterday canceled their long-scheduled "Bengals Playoff Special," which was set to air tonight....
Bert Blyleven Got In <em>Because</em> Voters Are Irrational, And Other Hall Of Fame Revelations
This is Regressing, a new, numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective. Today: how a weird tic of Hall of Fame voters helped put Bert Blyleven in Cooperstown....
Upstanding Young Oregon Fan Wants To Marry, Ditch Auburn Lass For A Bet
Meet Ryan Tharp. He knows two things: the Ducks are going to win Monday, and he's quite a catch. So he's looking for an Auburn gal to get hitched in Vegas, then get a quickie annulment the next day. Loser pays....
Even MLB Players Are Making Rex Ryan Parody Videos
Here's Oakland A's LOOGY Craig Breslow's secret YouTube video, under the username "ihaveprettylefthand." Can I smell it? [12 Angry Mascots]...
Newest Favre Allegations Get The Taiwanese Animation Treatment
Some great visuals in this one, including a literal slab of meat, the "Most Vilified Pervert" Award, and, yes, gunslinger orgasm....
Cristiano Ronaldo Breaks Real Madrid Goal-Scoring Record
When you sign Cristiano Ronaldo, you don't just get an oily gentleman who looks like he belongs on the Jersey Shore, you also get goals — absolutely loads of them....
Even The ESPN Announcers Were Tired Of Watching That Orange Bowl
ESPN3's online feed does away with commercials entirely, leaving dead silence in their place. Except sometimes they forget to cut the announcers' mics, leading to awkward exchanges like last night's between Jaws, Gruden and Tirico....