ti Page 1681 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Today In Mistress-Related Scuba-Gear Death News
"For the second time in three years Edythe Maa, a renowned dominatrix known as Jade Vixen who was also once a Ph.D. student at Penn, has had a close male companion die under unusual circumstances in the Philadelphia area. ......

The Same Ref Who Worked The Seahawks-Steelers Super Bowl Will Work This Week's Seahawks-Steelers Game
They're still not over Super Bowl XL in Seattle, especially after referee Bill Leavy admitted last year he had "kicked" a couple of calls in the fourth quarter. That Leavy was assigned to work Sunday's game will at least take the city's focus off the state of the current Seahawks for a while. [PFT,...

The 2011 MLB Rookie Hazing Costume Collection
Forcing rookies to dress in costume is an MLB tradition that's as childish as it is time-honored. A gloriously dumb reminder that most baseball players are manchildren, forever stuck in high school. We are too; it's a major reason baseball players are perhaps easier to connect with than athletes in ...

Reds Scrub Juan Francisco Hit This Home Run All The Way Out Of The Stadium
Holy dear lord. That is a lot of power from Reds third baseman Juan Francisco. That is the kind of power that makes Adam Dunn weep. Juan Francisco could hit a ball this far before he's reached his 150th MLB plate appearance—what can he do next? This is why we—well, someone—watches September baseba...

Sebastian Janikowski Rewarded Himself With A Dip After His Record-Tying Field Goal
Your morning roundup for Sept. 13, the day we decided to sue the people who rescued our dog because they're the ones who subsequently lost it. H/T to readers Christopher and Jonathan for the Janikowski photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Sebastian Janikowski Just Tied The NFL Record With A 63-Yard Field Goal (Video)
QBs aren't the only ones setting records during opening week, goddammit....

Your MNF Late Game Open Thread
One gets the sense that when this game was scheduled, someone had dreams of Tim Tebow starting dancing in their heads. Alas, it's not to be, as at least two quarterbacks, Ubaldo Jimenez, and John Elway would all have to get hurt before Tebow gets in this game. Unless...H-back time!...

This Evening: The Nationals' Rookies, Hazed To Dress As Smurfs, With Stephen Strasburg As Papa Smurf
Your p.m. roundup for Sept.12, the day Shirley the orangutan quit smoking. Photo courtesy @JesusFloresN26, via Larry Brown Sports. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Justin Bieber Is A More Dedicated Sports Fan Than You
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Biebs is a Maple Leafs fan, so he can't be a bandwagoner, right?...

Help Us Finish "The Snydering" (Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction)
As you may have heard, Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit against the Washington City Paper is no more. Which means we will no longer be posting a daily link to the story that so enraged Snyder (and which he failed to read). But we still have to wrap up The Snydering, our satirical, non-libelous Dan Sn...

MLB Physically Took FDNY And NYPD Caps From The Mets To Keep Them From Wearing Them Last Night
MLB's hopes for again being the go-to sports healing for September 11th were boned the second they realized the anniversary fell on an NFL Sunday. But they would have been hard-pressed to screw it up more than they did. The Yankees were on the road, the Nationals had a short little ceremony, and the...

We've Found The Unluckiest Soccer Team In The World: Off The Woodwork 3 Times In 3 Seconds
"Unlucky" being one of the more generous adjectives to describe Real Betis's repeated failure to find twine late in the first half of their La Liga match against Mallorca yesterday. Don't blame Rubén Castro, who got things rolling with a shot off the far post; blame Jorge Molina, whose successive ...

Lone Lokomotiv Yarolslavl Player To Survive Crash Dies
Alexander Galimov, who had come up with Lokomotiv Yaroslavl's youth system, died today from his injuries sustained in Wednesday's crash. He was 26. A member of the flight crew is now the only survivor of the accident....

This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
From Nick L. comes this "dong tree in the redwoods."...

Paul Hamm Is Just Another Unemployed Drunk Male Gymnast Now
The Olympic gymnast Paul Hamm has been fired from his assistant coaching position at The Ohio State University, following his arrest for assaulting a cab driver in Columbus last Saturday....

Joe Paterno's Presidential Medal Of Freedom Is Closer Than Ever
Partisan bickering has reduced Washington to a post-Era of Good Feelings, pre-Capra Thunderdome of hurled insults and hurled feces. But not in Harrisburg! Both of Pennsylvania's Senators and one representative are ignoring party lines to send a letter to Barack Obama, urging him to award Joe Paterno...


Joe Morgan Will Lead The World's Largest Chicken Dance For Cincinnati's Oktoberfest
We—all of us, here with our computers and our calculators and our Moneyballs—fired Joe Morgan from ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball last year. Poor Joe now toils in the Cincinnati Reds front office, advising Walt Jocketty on which mediocre outfielder has the most hustle. ("It might be Chris Heisey, but ...

Here's The Tom Brady UGG Commercial That Will Air On <i>Monday Night Football</i>
With music by Mos Def Yasiin, it features plenty of Steadicam shots of Tom walking. Tom running! Tom playing with someone's dog! Tom entering the locker room! Tom bopping his head to the beat, as if he had rhythm. The shoes are not eye-bleedingly ugly, like we've come to expect from Ugg boots, and...

The Heartbreaking Hockey Funeral For Lokomotiv Yaroslavl
The 37 members of Lokomotiv Yaroslavl who died in Wednesday's plane crash were on their way to Minsk to open the KHL season. The opening of the season has been pushed back to Monday, but all of Dynamo Minsk's tickets had been sold. Rather than leave the arena dark and emphasize the void the disast...