ti Page 1721 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hey, More Realignment Rumors. Awesome.
Oh no, we're not done. The Texas League may have settled their little dust up, but Crazy Conference Chatter is not over. The Pac-11 still needs a 12th man and the Big East will apparently take whatever they can get....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 16
Day 6 saw a huge upset with the Swiss defeating Spain and Uruguay's Diego Forlan putting two away against an overmatched South Africa. Pretty goals, lucky goals — they're all here to be enhanced with some good old-fashioned cultural insensitivity....

Tim Donaghy On Game 6: The Refs Get A Night Off
Tim Donaghy, the former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, is reviewing the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarter-by-quarter breakdown of Game 6, with video....

The Self-Identified Tiger Woods Babymamas Come Out Of The Woodwork
Devon James now says a 2006 threesome wasn't her first encounter with Woods, and, in fact, he's the father of her nine-year-old son. This is the type of thing she should have mentioned earlier, back when we actually cared. [NYDN]...

Get Dad Something Classy For Once
If the day before Father's Day you can usually be found elbowing your way to the front of a pack of fellow procrastinating schmoes scanning the "Dads" greeting card section in a Rite Aid, let Johnnie Walker help. Click here to order a specially-labeled bottle of Black Label for Dad....

Last Night's Winner: Game 7 Aficionados
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those who aren't ready to resign themselves to soccer and the dog days of baseball season. We still have basketball, for a little while longer....

World Cup Open Thread: Honduras-Chile
Day 6 kicks things off with two of the favorite countries of coup d'etat enthusiasts. Honduras's nickname, Los Catrachos, is based on a mispronunciation of the last name of a general who was the basis of a bizarre Ed Harris movie....

Celtics-Lakers Has Competitive Greatness Coming Out The Ass
Quietly, perhaps in a brief moment when floppy Derek Fisher wasn't butoh dancing for the refs, Celtics-Lakers became everything anyone could want in a basketball series....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 15th
Lots of good ones today. The Brazilian goals were nonchalant and North Korea — the Bad Korea — scored on The Selection on a really nice play. Top honors must go to New Zealand's Winston Reid for his stoppage-time equalizer....

Fleeing Bullfighter Arrested For Cowardice
A Mexican torero got one look at the bull entering the ring, and promptly took off running the other way. The police were waiting....

World Cup Open Thread: Ivory Coast-Portugal
If Drogba plays, this might be the best game of we've had so far. If he doesn't, expect Cristiano Ronaldo's preening to be even more insufferable....

World Cup Open Thread: New Zealand-Slovakia
Here we go, Day 5. The unfortunately (and accurately?) named All Whites take on the mighty Fightin' Jondas of Slovakia. Who to root for? Hostel was set in Slovakia. That is all....

Trust A.C. Green For All Your Pepper Spray Needs
When you need a non-lethal defense system, don't settle for anything less than the non-lethal defense system that A.C. Green gives to the women in his life. For lethal defense, you should still talk to Delonte West. [YouTube]...

FedEx: When You Absolutely, Positively Need Your Son's Team To Play In A BCS Conference
Memphis, stricken by Realignment Fever, is trying to negotiate their way into a bigger conference or, failing that, find a wealthy benefactor to buy them one. Thankfully, they (and their quarterback) have an international conglomerate at their disposal....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 14
Lots of exciting goals today — Japan's Keisuke Honda scoring off of a nice cross and Italy's Daniele De Rossi off a corner kick especially — but let's look at all of them in a culturally insensitive manner....

Tiger Mistress Upgrades Self To Tiger Baby Mama
A disgraced former journalist claims that a sensationalist documentary claims that a fame-seeking mistress claims she gave birth to Tiger Woods's love child, and was paid to keep quiet. Well, that's all the evidence I need! [The Sun]...

Tim Donaghy On Game 5: Why Make-Up Calls Are Necessary
Tim Donaghy, the former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, is reviewing the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarter-by-quarter breakdown of Game 5, with video....

Get Dad Something Classy For Once
If the day before Father's Day you can usually be found elbowing your way to the front of a pack of fellow procrastinating schmoes scanning the "Dads" greeting card section in a Rite Aid, let Johnnie Walker help. Click here to order a specially-labeled bottle of Black Label for Dad....

World Cup Open Thread: Italy-Paraguay
Mandioca! Anything carbonara! Fight! It's Italy and La Albirroja, the darkhorse Paraguayan squadron. Bring your best Pavarotti jokes and comment as you watch the last of today's matches....

Tonya Harding Sex Fantasy Page Still Surprisingly Active
Here's an unwelcome departure from refuckingallignment and World Cup news: Tonya Harding, disgraced former figure skater, still has fans. Horny fans, actually, who not-so-eloquently fantasize about "karate fucking" her and other disturbing coital activities....