ti Page 1722 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Are The Russians Training 17-Day-Old Babies To Be Gymnasts?
Last month, a video emerged of a woman swinging a baby around her head. Mommy blogs around the world erupted in disgust and disbelief, and the general consensus was that it had to be a hoax. Well, it's not....

Katie Baker Has Been Poached By Bill Simmons For His Forthcoming Editorial Project
Our great friend and part-time contributor (even though everyone who worked here considered her full-time), has decided to leave the lush life of freelance writing while praying her day job co-workers at The Prominent Money Managing Vampire Squid would not find out its Katie Baker was the same as t...

The Oakland A's Serve The Most Expensive Ounce Of Beer In The World
But only if you get the large. In a tempest-in-a-plastic-cup reminiscent of the Seahawks' scandal, an $8 domestic draft only gets you a wee bit more than a $5 small....

Don Mattingly Will Stop At Nothing To Find A World Series Ring
Your morning roundup for Feb. 16, a day after a guy from Texas retired from riding bicycles while wearing tights. Again....

A Conversation With The Two Lucky Bastards Who Got Locked In At Camden Yards
Yesterday, we published the somewhat implausible tale about the two guys who accidentally got trapped in Camden Yards after a rainout and who turned the empty ballpark into their own personal playground and brew pub. They've come forward with more details....

Rick Telander: If We Don't Stop Getting Concussed, The Robots Will Win (Or Something Like That)
We do not know what is going on in Rick Telander's head, but he wrote a column about brains and computers yesterday that is so full of raving, delusional paranoia about some impending tyranny that he might as well be on mushrooms or in the Tea Party....

We Have The Awful Pilot For Colin Cowherd's Awful TV Show
A tipster has sent along the script for the first episode of Colin Cowherd's "relationship" sitcom, which is being developed for CBS and which is roughly The Honeymooners meets Frasier meets the really insightful parts of Bedtime for Bonzo. Here are some highlights....

A Nostalgic Look At Some Brilliant Goals From 1993-94
There's no real reason for this clip other than the fact it made The Spoiler weep salty tears of nostalgia — it's only the bloody Goal of the Season competition from 1994! And Matt Le Tissier didn't even win!...

Here's A Video Of Dogs Saying "I Love You"
Happy Valentine's Day, Deadspin. This compilation video of dogs saying "I love you" will either freak you the fuck out and put you over the edge this evening, or make you believe in tru luv....

The Real Ronaldo Decides To Call It A Day
The Spoiler was just a whipper-snapper when Ronaldo first came to our attention and he absolutely blew our tiny little mind. He was unbelievably strong, quick and skilful — he's what Jonah Lomu could've been if he'd not lived in New Zealand and made the right life choices....

Happy Valentine's Day, From Delonte West
We dug this gem out of the Page 2 archives from way back in 2006, when Delonte West was a talented sophomore, and his ideas for romancing the ladies were in no way sullied by anything that may or may not have occurred later in Cleveland....

We Can Now Laugh At The Grammy Reporter Who Spoke Gibberish Last Night
Since Serene Branson did not, in fact, have a stroke while reporting live from the Grammys in Los Angeles last night, we think it is now safe to laugh openly at her incredible mumbo-jumbo-daracen-speak. Our interpretation is subtitled above....

The Story Of Two Guys Who Got Locked In At Camden Yards And Lived Out Every Fan's Dream
A few years ago, two men went to an Orioles game at Camden Yards. The game withstood a prolonged rain delay but was eventually postponed. Somehow, through hours of drink and delirium, our two heroes were locked in the gorgeous stadium by themselves during a torrential downpour. The story of what the...

Nine Chinese Figure Skaters May Not Be The Age China Said They Were
After the 2008 Beijing Olympics, the IOC launched an investigation into the ages of China's women's gymnastics team, because it seemed very possible that a few members were not women at all, but actually pre-adolescent girls. The '08 gymnasts were eventually cleared, but it came out that a '00 Olymp...

Tiger Woods Spits On The Green, Golf Gets All Offended
Disgusted with his Sunday collapse in Dubai, Tiger hocked up a loogie on the 12th green. That was all announcer Ewen Murray needed to label Woods "arrogant and petulant," and the European Tour fined him an undisclosed amount....

Big Baby Davis Would Like To Have This Fast Break Back
Your morning roundup for Feb. 14, the day A.J. stole Philadelphia's heart forever....

Croatian Soccer Fans Turn The Sky Red For Their Team
Croatia's oldest football club, Hajduk Split, turned 100 this weekend. So, fans appeared to storm the castle and torch everything in sight. Or something like that....

Your Heat vs. Celtics Open Thread
Both the Celtics and the Heat have 14 losses on the season. When they get done playing this afternoon, one will be in sole possession of first place in the Eastern Conference and the other will have sole possession of second place....

The NHL Doesn't Seem To Think The Islanders Can Control Their Players
Your morning roundup for Feb. 13, a day in which a Supreme Court justice prepares to celebrate five years of playing mum at work....

This Was The Day Snow Dong Evolved Into Snow Tits
Here's the subject line of an email sent by tipster Kadinsky of Milwaukee: "I see your snow dong..." The point comes into focus after the ellipsis: "and raise you a pair of snow tits. with sculpted bush." That's all you had to say, MF....