ti Page 1933 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Throwing The Book At Greg Gall
Some more news from our old friend Greg Gall, the guy who has spent an inordinate amount of time drinking with Deadspin readers. (By the way, we will be in Cincinnati for Thanksgiving week, so Greg, hey, drop us a line, we'll chat.) Ordinarily, when American Heroes like Gall bolt onto the field, t...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Thanksgiving Food!: Yeah, this is just what my family needs — holiday dinner recipes from someone who drinks beer from a novelty hat. • Noon. NFL with Len Pasquarelli: Well, are you an idiot or a moron? It's not like the questi...

Delonte West's Theoretical Portis Moment
We have known that Delonte West has had a "diary" on the Celtics' official site for a while, and we have heard that he has said crazy stuff on there from time to time. But today someone finally sent us an official quote from it, and it's too much not to quote exactly to you, even though someone (h...

Vote: Which Is The Best Portis Alter Ego?
For those of you who haven't been paying attention to the gradual, meticulous mental breakdown of Clinton Portis, the Redskins running back has been dressing up as a new "character" — and, Method-like, staying in character during interviews — for each media conference every Thursday. (It is to Por...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m. Fantasy Football Focus: You know, a week ago I wouldn't have considered it. But right now, Peyton Manning for my girlfriend — yeah. I might make that trade. • Noon. College BB with Joe Lunardi: I will not rest until Bracketolog...

Chad Johnson Loves Even Non-Lesbian Cheerleaders
We know the Bengals lost yesterday, but it's pretty obvious now that Chad Johnson is our favorite player in the NFL. He has brought a new, brilliant quality to touchdown celebrations: The backstory. Earlier this year, Johnson did the Riverdance against the Bears that might very well have been mock...

I - L - L !!!!!!!
We know some of those early-season tournaments have been going on all week, but as far as we're concerned, the college basketball season actually starts tonight: Our beloved, "Paint The Hall Orange" Illinois Fighting Illini tip off against the South Dakota State Jackrabbits — because nothing says...

Clinton Portis. Clinton Portis. Say It With Us Now.
If it's Friday, it must be time to check in on the weird shit Clinton Portis came up with yesterday. We've documented Portis' antics extensively, and he did not disappoint yesterday with his new character: "Dollah Bill." This character's a little less inspired than "Dr. 'I Don't Know'" and "Sheri...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. College BB with Kyle Whelliston: Did you really write this first paragraph? Wow. You are, like, the Ed Wood of basketball writers. (Sorry.) • 2:15 p.m. Former MLBPA Exec Marvin Miller: So Ross Gload made $335,000 this season, wh...

Athlete Run-Ins: The Angry Tim Duncan. Grrr!
In today's second installment of athlete run-in stories, we present a portrayal of Spurs all-world star Tim Duncan, from the olden days, back before he became the Mr. Nice Guy Stud that he is today. We find this story immensely fun just because it's the exact opposite of what pretty much everyone ...

Boxing (And "Ultimate Fighting") Hit Rock Bottom
The only way anyone can get to care about boxing anymore is when celebrities hit each other. Henceforth, an upcoming fight between "Fear Factor"'s Joe Rogan and fledgling wanna-be kung-fu star Wesley Snipes. It is indicative of the world of boxing that on boxing Web sites, this has become a semi-b...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Page 2's Alan Grant: Do all those extra copies of Return to Glory make better doorstops or paper weights? • Noon. Eating Champ Takeru Kobayashi: Looking for top-flight representation, my gastrointestinal wunderkind? We have Dar...

Someone Get One For Marty Mornhinweg, Just For Fun
This is a bit trifling so early in the morning, but we don't care, it makes us happy. The auction just closed, but since there were no bids, we're sure it'll come back up: An eBay auction where you can buy Detroit Lions helmet buggy. It is "larger than a golf cart; about the size of a small car" a...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1:30 p.m. Miami WR Sinorice Moss: Your brother Santana made you go long every time, and never threw you the ball, did he? God he was a bastard. • 3 p.m. College FB with Beano Cook: Tell us again of leather helmets and the time Jim Thor...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. NBA with Marc Stein: We've noticed that, since Halloween, they've stopped using your column as ESPN Insider exclusive content. In fact, after the first graph, the copy reads: "Want to read the rest of this article? Go ahead, it...

Alex Rodriguez Wins Even MORE Fans!
MLB.com just announced that Yankees third baseman/lipstick model Alex Rodriguez has won the American League MVP award. We salute A-Rod on this "victory."...

Oskee-Wow-Wow
We are honored — since we've mentioned it only sparingly, though expect that to change as college hoops gets going — that so many of you have noted that we are proud graduates of the University of Illinois and have asked our opinion of the NCAA ruling that the Chief Illiniwek nickname and "symbol"...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m. Fantasy Football Focus: I think by now that you realize all of our fantasies revolve around the Panthers cheerleaders, don't you? • Noon. WNCAA BB with Charlie Creme: Is this the sequel to Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory...

NFL Roundup: Down Goes Tice!
• What's funnier than Mike Tice being rolled over and knocked down on the sideline? Nothing, that's what. By the way, we find Tice's dopey sideline celebrations undignified, and Tom Coughlin's constant gyrations of fury incredibly amusing. • Samkon Gado, baby, Samkano Gado. Two touchdowns, one gr...

Clinton Portis Still Selling Crazy, Man
In case you thought Redskins running back Clinton Portis was becoming more sane as the weeks went by rather than less, you can relax. We proudly present his newest concoction: "Sheriff Gonna Getcha."...