ti Page 1932 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Gustav Evacuees Prompt LSU To Bump Kickoff Up To 11 AM ET
For those of you that thought our first college football Saturday couldn't start soon enough, you're in luck. That is, unless you live near the Gulf Coast, in which case you're probably running for your life from Hurricane Gustav. The Class 3 hurricane is expected to hit the Gulf Coast sometime Mon...
NFL Season Preview: Tennessee Titans
We're less than two weeks away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to start the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Today: The Tennessee T...
LenDale White Thinks Ohio State Sucks
Fortunately for White, unlike former USC teammate Carson Palmer—who told an LA radio station he hated Ohio State and their fans and then was forced to issue an apology— he plays in Tennessee. Which means he could probably run for Governor and be elected on the "Ohio State Sucks" platform. So don't ...
Yes We Can ... Get Out Quicker Through This Exit. Obama's Big Night At Invesco
Although Barack Obama's acceptance speech on Thursday was impressive in many ways, I can't help but feel that political conventions officially jumped the shark when the Democrats booked Invesco Field for the final day of their big party. It can only get larger and sloppier from here. What's McCain g...
Roger Ebert Gives Jay Mariotti A Strategically Placed Thumb On His Way Out The Door
If there are any more questions about Jay Mariotti's awfulness and how actively despised he is by most people at the Chicago Sun-Times, look no further than this internal letter being circulated around, oh, everywhere in Chicago's news rooms penned by Sun-Times movie critic Roger Ebert. The man sure...
Pacman Jones Just Got Reinstated; Receives News at Hooters
Dallas area strippers are rejoicing. It's probably just a coincidence that thunderstorms are in the Dallas forecast. Because, after over a year of suspension, Pacman is back. Jones confirmed the reinstatement with the Dallas Morning News this afternoon. Where was he when he received the news? Hoote...
Joey Galloway Is The White Tiger
Jon Gruden seems like the kind of guy who would be fun to hang around with as long as you weren't a reporter covering the Bucs. Witness the caddying incident with John Daly. But he may have outdone himself when he coined a new nickname for enigmatic receiver Joey Galloway: The White Tiger. From The...
The Chicago Sun-Times Won't Even Attempt To Contain Its Excitement
Yesterday, as the whole Jay Mariotti saga unfurled, longtime commenter Pete "Jayhawk" Gaines (and current combudsman at vroom-vroom central, Jalopnik) amusingly passed along an email exchange he'd had with Sun-Times EIC Michael Cooke: Sir: I wish to inform you that due to recent developments on the ...
Ozzie Guillen Bids Farewell To His Personal Lord Voldemort
Reaction to Jay Mariotti's resignation from the Chicago Sun-Times continues to pour in — there hasn't been this much freewheeling glee since the announcement of the end of World War II — and of course Ozzie Guillen is leading the hurrahs. While admitting that his own tenure in Chicago most assuredly...
The Internet Cautions Mr. Mariotti Not To Let The Door Hit Him In The Butt On The Way Out
So Jay Mariotti resigned from the Chicago Sun-Times on Tuesday night, prompting a flurry of reaction around the webtubes, a sampling of which we show you here. Most of it's anti-Jay, as you might guess; even this guy refuses to defend him. Mariotti; the only man Lassie ever refused to save from a we...
So, Yankee Stadium Takes This No Moving During "God Bless America"-Thing Rather Seriously
Remember a little more than a year ago when George Steinbrenner, inflated with patriotic fervor, imposed a laughable rule that instructed security officials to ban anyone from "excessive movement" during the 7th inning rendition of "God Bless America." Granted, most New Yorkers seemingly abide by it...
That's It World; You Have Disrespected Jay Mariotti For The Final Time
Details are beginning to trickle in on Jay Mariotti's sudden resignation from the Land of Newsprint, and it's pretty much what you would expect: Jay quitting in a hissy fit over a perceived slight. According to two reliable sources, Mariotti, just back from Beijing, wanted to write a column on Barac...
Jay Mariotti: Quits Chicago Sun-Times Before Struggling Newspaper Business "Takes Him Down With It"
Wow. Based on the enormous amount of emails flooding Deadspin's inbox, you would've thought that there was an assassination of a beloved sports figure or a towering inferno at Yankee Stadium. Nope. The reason for the deluge was because Jay Mariotti, after 17 years of vituperative hackdom, has decide...
Explaining the New College Football Clock Rules
Last year the average college game lasted 3 hours and 21 minutes. Many televised games went well over four hours. Compare that with the NFL timing system where virtually every televised game ends between 2:55 and 3:05. So the college football overlords have devised a new system modeled on the NFL s...
They Must Be Coming By Sea
David Hirshey Michael Bertin writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. Arsene Wenger would have made a good captain for the Titanic. That has less to do with any nautical skills that he may or may not have, than it does with hubris. This is an Arsenal side he has claimed in print has the ability ...
College Football Previews: #5 Florida
We've entered college football season. Hark, it lurks but three days hence. And, perhaps even more importantly, we've entered the top 5 of college football. Today's Florida previews is brought to you by Orson Swindle/Spencer Hall, a man who can slit your team's throat so skillfully you're still lau...
NFL Closer: John McCain Taught Matt Leinart All He Knows About Football
Unless Steve Young took the wrong bridge out of San Francisco last night, there were no known professional-level quarterbacks in the city of Oakland, CA, last night. Normally, this would not be cause for concern, but an NFL preseason contest took place in Oakland Coliseum at the same time. (Arizona ...
The Thing I Do Can Be Related to Current Events So Look At Me!
Below, you will see what it takes for a man to excrete success. Frosted Flakes Gold is not involved, despite what our television just told us. Click to view ...
To Watch Tonight: The Winner Takes It All
What to watch to overcome your disappointment in the Golf Digest submission standards... • NFL Preseason Football: Steelers vs. Vikings (8 pm ET) - The Vikings' mastery of steel is well-documented. The Steelers' mastery of vike, on the other hand, has less supporting evidence. [CBS] • NASCAR: Sharpi...
Synchronized Swimmer Sinks Slowly; Silly Swimmer!
We've been shopping our script about a narcoleptic synchronized swimmer for years to no avail; it's an uplifting story, but you know how much it costs to make a water-based film. However, we've dusted off the script and sent it to our agent again after hearing that one of the Japanese synchronized s...